Fic: A Beautiful Lie (Regulus/Remus)
Jun. 25th, 2012 08:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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hp_rarefestTitle: A Beautiful Lie
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
m3535
Prompt: PROMPT #113 - Regulus and Remus, due to a potion or spell mishap, end up accidentally bonded
Pairing: Regulus/Remus
Word Count: ~ 8400
Rating: PG-13
Warning(s): Language, hints of sex
Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended
Notes: Thanks so much to betas A and ETL.
Summary: A bit of a surreal fic in which Regulus and Remus are off the wall, Severus and Sirius are on the same page, James is in a cold sweat, and Peter is just having a good laugh
James Potter was finally at his wit's end. Three years of hard work and he hadn't made any sort of progress. Three years of courting, flirting, charming, showing off, bragging, and even begging had gotten him absolutely nowhere with his heart's desire. Not even a date. Not one measly little date.
A more realistic and less conceited person would have accepted his defeat by now and realised that the girl was simply not interested, but James was no such person. He was convinced that Lily and he were meant to be. The only problem was that the gorgeous redhead - stubborn as she was - refused to see it.
It was this desperation that drove him to do it. When he stumbled upon the instructions in an ancient Potions book the temptation was simply too strong. The potion was supposed to create a soul bond between two people and it was just what James needed.
Deep down he knew that it was wrong. Very, very wrong. Which was also why he did not involve any of his friends in his plan - not even Sirius, with whom he normally shared everything. However, it was not as if he was imposing an artificial bond between the two of them, he rationalised. It was already there, it just needed magnifying so that Lily could see it. How strong could the effects be, anyway?
o0o0o
James was in a state close to panic. His plan had gone wrong - terribly wrong. It was all McGonagall's fault, he thought bitterly. He had been in charge of the yearly Prefect Christmas get-together, and what a perfect occasion that had been. James had had it all figured out. He had spiked two of the welcome drinks, and he planned to take one and hand the other to Lily as the Head Boy and Girl welcomed the others.
He had just arranged all the glasses on the tray when McGonagall had insisted that he step out of the room with her for a quick word. James had protested strongly and asked if it couldn't wait until they had opened the party. It couldn't. And when he, just two minutes later, had returned, the obnoxious guests had already helped themselves to drinks.
The first horrifying thought that entered his mind was that Lily might have taken one of the spiked drinks and would be bound to someone other than him. He had grabbed and all but shaken her, demanding to know from what part of the tray she had picked her glass. To his great relief he found that she had not taken one of the glasses in question. This, however, did not mean that all was well and good. Two of the prefects had ingested the potion, and he had no idea which ones.
Well, he thought sullenly, he would find out soon enough, wouldn't he?
o0o0o
Regulus Arcturus Black woke up in his dorm feeling a bit odd. Maybe he was getting ill. Great, he thought bitterly. Just what he needed on the day of the annual Quidditch game against Gryffindor. Fever and flying didn't fare well together - he knew that from experience.
At breakfast he sat stabbing at his food, not really hungry. He had a funny feeling in his stomach.
"Nervous about the game?" asked Severus, who sat opposite him.
Regulus shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe a little."
"Don't worry. We'll put them straight. Just look out for Potter..."
Regulus looked up from his plate. "Why? He's not seeker."
"No, but his head is so darn big, it takes up half the field! We wouldn't want you to collide with it..."
Regulus laughed. "Oh, don't worry. My eyesight is fine."
"Unlike his," Severus added, eliciting another snigger from Regulus.
Regulus' eyes moved to the neighbouring table where his idiot brother sat, making a show of himself as usual, flinging his arms around and talking loudly. His three equally idiotic cronies were laughing as if he was the funniest bloke in the world. Rodent Face, Four Eyes, and... well, maybe Lupin wasn't as bad as the others. In fact, he was quite nice, come to think of it. He also had a nice smile. How come he'd never noticed before? He had really kind, pretty eyes and - wait - pretty??? I didn't just think that!
"What are you staring at?" asked Severus.
"Nothing," he said hurriedly and tore his eyes away from Lupin, feeling heat rise in his cheeks.
Severus looked over his shoulder in the direction where Regulus had been looking. When he spotted the four Marauders his face turned ugly.
"Forget about him, Reg. He isn't worth your attention."
"Oh, I wasn't -"
"You should be happy your family got rid of him."
"I am." That wasn't completely true, but Severus didn't need to know that.
When Snape turned his attention back to his breakfast, Regulus couldn't help looking back at Lupin, and his stomach did a flip when he found the other boy looking straight back at him. Their eyes locked, and Regulus wasn't able to look away again. His heart started hammering like crazy - what the fuck was wrong with him?
"Black. BLACK!"
"What?" he snapped at the person shaking his shoulder.
"Time to go! The game, Black."
"Oh... right."
o0o0o
The game was a disaster. They had lost, and it had been his fault. Twice the snitch had flown right by his head without him even noticing it. He could still hear his team mates' angry yells ringing in his ears.
No, wait - it wasn't his fault at all. It was Lupin's! How was Regulus supposed to concentrate when he had felt the Gryffindor's eyes glued to him constantly? He probably did it on purpose, too - some dirty trick to help his team win.
o0o0o
Regulus woke with a start, gasping for air. He was soaked in sweat, the sheets clinging to his skin, and his boxers sticky. He had just had the most disturbing wet dream ever. Images of tawny hair and amber eyes were still fresh in his mind. Lush lips, flat chest, firm buttocks, and - Oh, God. He brought a shaky hand up to his forehead. What the hell is wrong with me?
After having listened carefully to his roommates' breathing, making sure they were still asleep, he snuck into the bathroom. Standing in the shower, letting the hot water cleanse his body, the thoughts were whirling in his head. What was happening to him? Maybe he should go see Madam Pomfrey. But what was he going to say to her? Please help me, I think I've caught gay? No, that was completely out of the question.
Was that how it normally worked? Did people just wake up one day and realise they were gay? And what if he really was? Why the obsession with Lupin? He tried picturing himself with different handsome boys, but no - none of them did it for him. Only the quiet Gryffindor.
Back in bed he was tossing and turning. He was afraid to fall asleep because what if he had another dream? On the other hand, it could hardly get any worse. He couldn't stop thinking about Lupin. He imagined him lying in his bed in the Gryffindor Tower, equally restless and thinking about Regulus. The thought made him warm inside and his heart beat a little faster. Oh, how he wished he could see him now. Be close to him. Touch him. It hurt thinking about how far away from each other they were.
Suddenly Regulus felt sure that he was going to die if he didn't get to see his fellow prefect right now. He got up from his bed and dressed quickly. Then he tiptoed out of the dorm and crossed the common room. He had no idea what he was doing, it just felt like the thing to do. He left the Dungeon and continued through the corridors, steered by a mysterious force. He climbed a few stairs and rounded a few corners. Then he stopped.
There was someone approaching him. The person's lit wand was not enough to reveal their identity, but it didn't matter. Regulus already knew who it was. They came to a stop just a few yards from each other.
"Re- Black..."
"Lupin." Regulus could hardly get the word out.
"Call me Remus," said Lupin, sounding just as nervous as Regulus.
"Remus," he said slowly, tasting the word. Then, after a few seconds, "What are you doing here?"
"I just... somehow I knew you'd be here." He stepped closer so they were standing right in front of each other.
The Gryffindor looked so lovely that Regulus just had to reach out and touch him. Remus sucked in a breath when the hand cupped his cheek.
"I can't stop thinking about you," Regulus whispered, his voice shaky. "I had a dream..."
He didn't get to say anymore, because the next second Remus was kissing him.
Regulus' mind imploded. Remus was kissing him and he had never felt this amazing. He had never felt so right, so complete. It was like his whole life had been leading up to this very moment. Their lips were moving against each other, their tongues were twirling, and Regulus slipped his free arm around the other boy's waist and pulled him in so their bodies were flush against each other. He craved his closeness, wanted desperately to merge with him so they could become one. He knew that he would never, ever let go.
o0o0o
James was extremely stressed. The extent of the gravity of his actions had finally dawned on him. He couldn't understand how he could ever have thought that imposing a Bonding Potion on Lily was a good idea. Love made you do crazy things, it seemed.
The past three days he had been keeping a close eye on the prefects, but he hadn't seen anything suspicious. The problem was that he didn't really know what to look for. He didn't know what the "symptoms" were supposed to be or how it would work. The book hadn't mentioned it. He wondered if it would even show. Maybe you couldn't tell just by looking at people. Maybe the potion hadn't even worked. Maybe he hadn't brewed it correctly. It was a very advanced potion after all.
He had spent a lot of time in the library, searching for a counter potion, but so far he had found nothing. He realised that it was reckless of him not to have done this before he had spiked the drinks. He really had not thought things through, and he was exceedingly ashamed of himself. He wished he could ask some expert for help, but he couldn't very well go to Slughorn with his problem. The school's best Potion students, Lily and Snape, were, of course, also out of the question. He shuddered by the thought of Lily finding out. He would be a dead man.
o0o0o
They were walking down the corridor, Sirius and Peter avidly discussing a new prank. James only managed to join in half-heartedly. He had other things to worry about.
As they turned a corner they came upon a couple leaning against a windowsill, snogging enthusiastically.
Sirius wolf-whistled and cried, "Get a room, lads!"
Peter stopped abruptly and Sirius bumped into him.
"Hey, Pete - give us a bloody warning before you-"
"Fuck! That's Moony!" exclaimed Peter. "And - and..."
James felt his heart jump into his throat. How the hell could he not have noticed one of his closest friends being affected? Well, come to think of it, he had barely seen Remus the last couple of days.
"What the bloody hell are you doing?" cried Sirius.
Regulus reluctantly broke the kiss and sent Sirius a scowl. "What does it look like we're doing?"
"It looks like you're trying to eat each other's faces off, but I can't for the love of Merlin come up with a good reason as to why you would want to do that!"
"Our reasons are none of your business."
"The hell it is! That's my friend you're experimenting with!"
Regulus opened his mouth to retort, but Remus beat him to it.
"It's not an experiment, Padfoot. We're a couple now. We're in love."
"You're WHAT?"
"We're a couple, and we're in love," Remus repeated patiently.
"Since when?"
"Since..." Remus scrunched up his face, "Sunday."
Sirius muttered a string of unintelligible curses under his breath.
"Blimey! You never cease to surprise me, Moony," said Peter, shaking his head. "Hell, I didn't even know you were into blokes..."
James could only stand by and watch. The shock hadn't settled yet and all he could think was, 'oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!'
"Do you mind giving us some privacy?" said Regulus, sounding rather annoyed.
Sirius ignored him and addressed Remus again. "I don't get it. How did the two of you... why my brother - of all people, Moony?"
"It's not something we planned. We were just... drawn to each other. It's like we're meant to be."
An odd strangled sound escaped James.
Regulus was nibbling and nuzzling Remus' ear affectionately, murmuring something into it.
Remus smiled and murmured back, "Love you, too."
"You've got to be taking the piss!" uttered Sirius. "Stop this madness! Now!"
"Go away, Sirius," said Remus, finally starting to sound irritated.
"Honestly, Padfoot, give them some privacy," said Peter, pulling Sirius back by his jumper.
Sirius let himself be dragged back a few yards, still staring at the cuddling couple.
"But they can't do this! It has to stop!"
"You don't have the right to tell them what to do. If they want to be together, then that's their business."
"But that's my little brother! And my friend!"
"And you're not in charge of either of them."
"But they're not of age! At least Reggie isn't."
"Oh, for Godric's sake, Sirius!" Peter exclaimed.
Sirius turned to James. "Prongs - why are you just standing there? Say something!"
"What? I.. um... I agree with Wormtail."
Peter looked like the cat that got the cream.
Sirius raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "Is that all you have to say?"
"Well, what else is there to say?"
"But there's something fishy about it. Who says 'I love you' after just three days?"
"Moony, obviously," replied Peter.
Sirius sighed and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms. "This is surreal. I just... I need an explanation."
He turned to Remus. "Moony, could you talk to us in private for a minute? You've got to understand this is really weird for us. You owe us an explanation. Please."
Remus sighed. "Okay. I guess you're right." He took both of Regulus' hands in his. "Darling - do you mind leaving us alone for a moment?"
"Why can't I stay?"
"I need to talk to my friends."
"But you can talk to them with me here," the younger boy whined. "We don't keep any secrets from each other."
"Reggie - go to your common room!" Sirius ordered impatiently.
Regulus narrowed his eyes. "You can't boss me around! You lost that right when you moved out last summer!"
"Please," said Remus. "I'll see you later, okay? I won't be long. Promise."
"Well, all right," mumbled Regulus. "But hurry."
"I will," said Remus and kissed him deeply.
"Good bye," whispered Regulus when their lips parted.
"I'll miss you," said Remus, making no move to leave.
"Oh, for crying out loud, Moony," Sirius said and tugged at Remus' sleeve, " - he's not moving to another country!"
o0o0o
"I'm glad you brought me up here," smiled Regulus.
"Yeah. It's nice here at night isn't it?"
Regulus nodded. They were sitting facing each other on the floor of the Astronomy Tower, occasionally looking up through the skylight but mostly into each other's eyes. He had always considered it incredibly corny when lovers went stargazing and hadn't imagined himself ever engaging in such an activity, but all of a sudden he found it ridiculously romantic. Especially because Remus looked gorgeous bathed in moonlight. Regulus felt like he was getting drunk just by watching him.
The last few days had been fantastic. He was ecstatic with joy and was certain that Remus and he were destined for each other. He wanted nothing more than to be with him all the time, give himself completely, be together forever - and forever couldn't start soon enough. But there was also a small part of him that was alarmed. A little voice in his head raising questions and comments such as - 'What's going on here?' and, 'This is going too fast!' However, it seemed to matter less and less and the voice was getting weaker and weaker every day.
"I love you," he said, plucking up Remus' hand. He brought it to his lips and gently kissed each finger, never taking his eyes off the other boy's amber ones.
Remus drew a shivering breath, his pupils impossibly large. "I..." he started, as if he didn't know what to say. "Will you marry me?" he suddenly blurted out. As soon as he had said it he clapped a hand to his mouth and his eyes widened as if in shock.
Regulus, too, was shocked. I can't believe he just asked me that! Is he crazy? he thought. We're just kids and we've only been -
"I'm sorry," said Remus, "I don't know why I said tha-"
"Yes!" Regulus heard himself exclaim. And now it was his turn to clap his hand to his mouth. Did I just say that?
Remus looked taken aback. "Y-yes, what?"
Now that Regulus came to think of it, he realised that he really did want this.
"Yes, I want to - unless you didn't - I mean -"
"Of course I meant it! I think. No, I know. I mean, I hadn't considered it before, but..."
"But we both know that we're going to be together forever, so why not make it official?" Regulus finished.
o0o0o
"Well?"
Regulus, who sat curled up in a big armchair, looked up at the sound of the peremptory voice, pulling himself out of his reverie. A determined looking Severus was standing in front of him, arms crossed and foot tapping.
"Well, what?"
"What's the matter with you?"
"What do you mean?" said Regulus, confused.
"You know what I mean!"
"I have no idea what you mean."
"You've been completely out of it for the last week or so."
"I have?"
"Yes!"
"I really have no idea what you're referring to..."
"Let me give you a few clues, then. Gryffindor. Prefect."
"Oh."
"Yeah, oh. I'm on to your little secret. I saw you together."
"It's not a secret," said Regulus matter-of-factly.
"Then why haven't you told me about it?"
"I've been preoccupied."
"So it would seem," Severus pointed out dryly. "So?"
"So, what?"
"So what is wrong with you! What has possessed you to fool around with that loser?"
"Remus is not a loser! And we're not fooling around. It's a serious relationship."
Severus snorted. "Why are you doing this? Is it to nark your brother?"
"Why would I -"
"Is it a bet? A dare?"
"No!"
"Then why?"
"Because I love him, of course!" Regulus exclaimed. Why was Severus being so dense? How hard could it be to understand? "How could I not? He's the most amazing person I've ever met! And we're so good together," he sighed, feeling a big smile spread across his face. "It's magical."
Severus looked intently at him, eyes boring into him as if trying to read his mind.
"You are actually being serious?" he said after a short while.
"Yes! Why is that so hard to believe?"
"Because, Reg, this is so unlike you. Being gay? All right. I'm surprised, but I suppose I can get used to that. But falling so hard for someone overnight? And Lupin, of all people? It doesn't make any sense! And you don't seem yourself. It's like you're walking in a daze."
"A symptom of being in love, I've heard."
"I don't buy it. Something's amiss."
"Will you stop it? You just can't stand it because he's friends with Potter and Sirius."
"That's not the only reason! I could tell you things about him that would make your hair stand on end."
Regulus very much doubted it. "Oh? What?"
Severus' jaw clenched as if he wanted to say something but couldn't.
"Well?"
"He's half-blood."
"You're half-blood. That doesn't stop me from being your friend."
"He's poor."
"Well, I'm rich, so that doesn't matter. I can support the both of us."
"He's a Gryffindor!"
Regulus laughed. "Oh, really? I had no idea!"
Severus scowled. "The point is, that the Regulus I know would never get involved with a Gryffindor. Let alone one of them."
"It's insignificant."
"You have to stay away from him! There's something..." He grinded his teeth. Then it burst out of him, "Reg, he's a werewolf!"
"I know that. He told me. I don' CARE! It's not his fault he got bitten."
Severus looked absolutely dumbstruck.
"Why can't you just be happy for me? I've found the love of my life! Actually I wanted to ask you to be my best man. We're getting married."
Severus made a noise in his throat that sounded like he was choking on his own spit.
"Have you gone completely off your trolley?" he finally exclaimed.
"So do you want to?"
"I'd rather die!"
Regulus couldn't help but feel a bit hurt. "You're my best friend. It shouldn't matter to you that you don't like him. You should be able to see past that - for me."
Severus drew out his wand and pointed it at Regulus. "Finite Incantatem!"
"What are you doing?"
"Do you feel any different?"
"No - why would I?"
The older boy stormed off without answering.
Regulus had just slipped back into his daydreams - about a certain Gryffindor, of course - when Severus came back.
"Hold out your hand," he commanded.
Regulus did so, automatically. Severus pointed his wand at it and a small slash appeared on the palm.
"OUCH! You cut me!" Regulus exclaimed, his eyes wide in disbelief. He tried to pull his hand away but Severus held on to it mercilessly.
"Stop whining, Reg. It's barely a nick. I need some blood," he said and held a vial under the cut. When a few drops had trickled into the transparent liquid in it, he let go of Regulus' hand.
"Don't worry, I'll heal that in a minute," he said while twirling the vial carefully. The blood mixed with the liquid, tinting it pink.
"I don't understand," he mumbled to himself, still staring into the vial in his hand.
"What don't you understand?"
"Love potion... it's negative. I was so sure somebody had slipped you one."
o0o0o
James and Sirius had just left the last lesson of the day when, out of nowhere, a furious looking Snape lunged himself at Sirius. Before the Gryffindor could react, Snape had grabbed him by the collar and slammed him up against the wall, jamming his wand into his neck.
"What did you do to Regulus?" he snarled, their faces inches from each other.
Sirius was too surprised to be angry. "What? I didn't do anything to Reggie!"
"Bloody liar! I know you did it! I KNOW!" He punctuated the last word with a shake, causing Sirius to bump the back of his head against the wall.
"What the fuck are you talking about? Did something happen to him?"
"Don't play dumb!"
"Prongs - a little help here!" Sirius said, casting a sideways glance at his friend.
James, who had just been standing there, shocked, was jerked out of his stupor.
"Let go of him, Snivellus!" he cried, his wand pointed at the Slytherin's temple.
Snape sneered at him but didn't release his grip. "Stay out of it, Potter!"
"Let go! Don't be stupid - you're outnumbered."
"I'm not afraid of you!"
"I don't care what you are. Let go of Sirius, now!" James growled.
Severus looked daggers at him. Then he grudgingly stepped back, holding his wand up in a defensive position.
"Don't think I'm letting you off the hook, Black. I want to know what you did! Did you have a good laugh? Did you think it would be funny to see him make a complete arse of himself?"
"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ??" Sirius yelled, his temper finally catching up with him.
"I knew you were completely devoid of decency and morals, but this..." Severus spat, "- your own flesh and blood!"
"We might not be on the best of terms, but I'd never do anything to hurt him!"
James saw a worried expression flash across Sirius' face.
"WHAT HAPPENED TO REGGIE?" he demanded.
"YOU TELL ME!" Severus shot back.
Before anyone could blink, Sirius had pulled his wand. "Tell me RIGHT NOW what you're talking about, or I'll make sure you spend the holidays tied to a hospital bed!"
Severus' gaze flickered between the two Marauders' wands. Then his lip curled up in a first class sneer.
"Fine. If you want to play like that. You did something to mess with his mind and just like last time it would seem that you used your little friend as a prop in your twisted prank."
Sirius' jaw dropped. "Re-Remus? Oh. Oh! You think that I'm responsible for their insane behaviour?"
"That's exactly what I think!" Severus brought his hand up to his forehead, his brows knitting together. "This is getting us nowhere," he mumbled to himself. Then he looked back at Sirius. "Wait here!" he ordered and stalked off.
Sirius just stood there, staring after the agitated Slytherin.
James' stomach was in knots. Snape was on to something, he'd just picked the wrong target. Where was he going? To fetch a professor? He shivered at the thought. Of course he had known that something like this was bound to happen sooner or later, but he had desperately hoped that he would be able to find a counter potion or some other solution before anyone found out. But he should have told Sirius, at least. Oh, Merlin, he should have told Sirius. He couldn't let him find out this way!
"You aren't seriously going to do what he says, are you? Let's go, Padfoot."
"No. I'm waiting. I want to know what's going on with Moony and Reggie. I knew something was off!"
"Sirius, we need - I need to talk to you."
"Then talk."
"Not here. Let's go somewhere private."
"It'll have to wait, then. I'm staying here till I find out what Snivellus is up to."
o0o0o
James was still pleading with Sirius to go with him when Severus came back, literally dragging a baffled and protesting Regulus along. When they reached the Gryffindors, he forcefully shoved Regulus forward into Sirius' arms.
"Fix him!" he ordered.
Sirius just managed to catch him by the armpits as he stumbled face first into his chest.
Regulus looked up at his brother's face with big eyes and a confused expression - and then a tentative grin. "Hi."
"Hi, yourself," Sirius replied and manoeuvred Regulus into an upright position.
"What does he mean? What are you going to do to me?"
"I'm not going to do anything to you. I have no idea what's wrong with you, but I surely would like to find out!"
Regulus groaned. "Oh, no - not you, too! There's nothing wrong with me. Or Remus."
James could hardly look at the younger Black. It made his stomach churn in guilt.
"All right, Black," said Snape. "You've had your fun. Enough with the charade. If you don't confess RIGHT NOW, I'll fetch your Head of House and we'll see if she can pull it out of you."
"I HAVN'T DONE ANYTHING TO HIM! How many times do I have to say it? How thick ARE you, you bloody moron!?" screamed Sirius, his face rapidly turning crimson.
"What's going on here?"
Everybody's heads turned to see Remus and Peter coming down the corridor towards them.
"Remus!" Regulus squealed in delight and lunged himself at his boyfriend.
Peter made his way around the happily reunited couple. "What's happening?"
"We were just discussing how Black here is responsible for those two's outrageous behaviour. Or are you all in on it? Is that it? The werewolf had a crush, so you decided to help -"
"Keep your voice down!" Sirius hissed through his teeth.
"Leave him out of it!" said James. "He's got nothing to do with it!"
Snape slowly turned his head and looked straight at James.
"And how do you know that?"
"He would never do something like that! Remus is the most honest and decent person -"
Snape's eyes bore into James. "You..." he hissed after a few second. "It was you. YOU did this!"
James swallowed nervously. "I - um - of course not!"
But now Sirius and Peter were staring at him too, and he felt cornered.
"James?" said a very confused looking Sirius. "What is... do you know something?"
James opened his mouth but nothing came out.
"You do! You know something. What did you - how do you -"
"He knows because he DID it!" Snape cut in.
"What did he do?" asked Peter, who had only heard a small part of the row and was more than a little confused.
"James...?" Sirius said, narrowing his eyes.
James knew that the game was up. He didn't know what he dreaded the most - Snape's reaction or Sirius'. Well, on second thought, maybe he did.
"Okay, okay," he said, holding his hands up in an appeasing gesture. "Sirius, just... listen..."
"Get on with it!" Sirius and Snape said, almost in unison.
"They're bonded."
"Bonded? Bonded how?"
"A soul-bond. I, um, made a potion... accidentally..."
Sirius' eyebrows shot upwards. "You accidentally made a potion?"
"No! I mean - Regulus and Remus drank it by accident."
James told them the whole story - of course leaving out the part about who the potion was actually intended for. When he had finished, there were a few minutes of Sirius ranting and raving. James had expected as much. He was just relieved that he didn't wield wand nor fists against him, and he waited patiently for him to tire himself out.
Snape just stood there with crossed arms and a disconcerting smirk on his face. He was obviously satisfied with letting Sirius do all the yelling.
Finally Sirius seemed to run out of air and obscenities. He took a moment to regain his breath while looking intently at Remus and Regulus, who didn't seem to have registered anything that had been going on or even realise that there were other people around.
"Do you think they've... you know...?"
"What do you think?" Peter laughed. "They can barely keep their hands off each other in public! Oh - scratch out 'barely'," he added as he saw Snape swatting Regulus' hand away from the hem of Remus' shirt.
Sirius turned back to James, looking furious.
"You sod! Because of you, Moony and my little brother have lost their virginities!"
"How do you know they were there to be lost?"
"Well I don't... but Reggie's just a baby, and Moony - he's so innocent. And now you've spoiled them!"
"Honestly, Sirius. Don't you think you're overreacting?"
"It's basically rape! You've raped them, Prongs!"
"Padfoot, get a grip!" intervened Peter.
"Actually, for once, I agree with Black," said Snape pointedly.
"What's with the smug grin?" asked James. "I thought you were upset on Regulus' behalf!"
"Oh, I am. I just can't help but rejoice in the fact that we will soon have seen the last of you. You're going down for this, Potter! There's no way that even Dumbledore will let this one pass."
James gulped. It would be a lie to say that he had not thought the exact same thing.
"Of course he won't get kicked out," interrupted Peter. "It was an accident! We will give them a counter potion and everything will be fine! Right, Prongs?"
"Um... I haven't found one yet. That's why I've kept quiet. I've been looking -"
"You don't have a counter potion?" Snape cut in. "Why am I not surprised." He threw his hands into the air. "Complete and utter recklessness."
Sirius went pale. "But what are we going to do? We can't... we have to... fix this," he gestured towards Remus and Regulus.
"I'll tell you what we're going to do," said Snape, his voice thick with glee. "We're going to go to Dumbledore, and I'm sure he and Professor Slughorn will be able to cure them. And then we shall see what the consequences are going to be."
"Off course they're not going to throw him out," said Sirius, although not sounding convinced. He looked torn between being angry with James and not wanting him to get expelled. "Remus will forgive him and ask Dumbledore not to."
"Ah, but will Regulus?"
"If I ask him nicely..."
Snape laughed. Then he suddenly stopped and narrowed his eyes. "By the way - why did you brew the potion in the first place? Who was it intended for?"
James felt himself break out in a cold sweat. He had to get out of this one, because if Snape found out, Lily would find out, and that just could not happen!
"It was for a prank... payback, if you will. Two of the prefects had played a nasty trick on me..."
"Which ones?"
James could see Sirius open his mouth, probably to ask a similar question. He caught his eye, desperately trying with a subtle look to plead him to let the matter rest until later. To his immense relief, Sirius closed his mouth again, seemingly understanding.
"That's none of your business!" he bit at Snape. "But it wasn't Regulus. You probably don't even know them."
"I don't believe you!"
"Another problem, lads," Peter broke in. "How do we break it to the lovebirds?"
This turned out to be a very difficult, if not impossible, task. Even when they managed to get both of their attention, they refused to believe a word they were saying. First they laughed at what they thought was a ridiculous joke. Then, when the others wouldn't let up, they became increasingly more irritated.
"What's the matter with you people? Is this so hard for you to deal with, that you have to join forces against us?"
"No, Reggie - it's not like that! We're trying to help you!"
"By tearing us away from each other?"
o0o0o
"Don't think that I won't go to Dumbledore just because I'm letting you show me this," said Snape as James dumped a large shabby book on the table in front of him. "You're not worming your way out of this one!"
"I have no such illusions," replied James bitterly.
They had all gone to the library so that Snape could see which potion James had used. They also hoped that Remus and Regulus would be convinced when presented with the evidence.
The couple in question were sitting at the far end of the table, intertwining fingers and being silly, paying very little attention to the others. Regulus kept making Remus giggle by blowing his fringe away from his forehead.
"Are you absolutely insane?" said Snape and looked up from the open book in front of him. "This is extremely powerful stuff! One doesn't play around with potions like this!"
James didn't dignify it with an answer. He wasn't exactly in a position to argue, and even though he hated to admit it, the Slytherin was right.
"Where did you look for a counter po- will you STOP WITH THE STUPID GIGGLING, already? I can't concentrate!" cried Snape, glaring at Remus.
"I don't think your friend likes me much," Remus told Regulus.
"Don't take it personally. He'll come around. He just has a hard time getting used to the idea of us together, and he isn't exactly the most diplomatic person in the world. When I asked him to be my best man he gave me a rather rude answer."
Sirius almost fell off his chair.
Snape looked up at him with a sardonic grin. "Oh, you haven't heard of their little plan, I see."
"If he doesn't come around, you can always ask Sirius. He is your brother after all. I'm sure he would accept."
Sirius looked like a fish out of water. Peter tried very hard to keep from laughing at him.
"I thought you wanted to ask him to be yours," said Regulus.
"If you want him I can just use James or Peter."
"At normal weddings there is only one best man. How is it when it's two blokes? Do they actually get one each or is only one allowed?"
Sirius had finally regained the ability to speak. He jumped up and slammed his fist onto the table. "There will be no best man or best men! Because there will be no wedding! There will be counter potion and there will be bye bye love!"
o0o0o
It couldn't be true - it just couldn't. Regulus felt like his whole world was falling apart. His heart couldn't fathom it, but his brain finally understood that it really was true. The proofs were too many; the displayed books and scrolls, the solid arguments, the grave faces of Dumbledore and Slughorn, the awaiting potions on the desk.
Remus was holding him tight, his fingertips digging into his back so hard that it was sure to bruise. Regulus had buried his face in the crook of his neck and was breathing in his scent as if to make sure he would never forget it. The thought of being ripped away from the love of his live was just too much for him and be burst into tears. He could feel Remus shaking with the effort of holding back his own.
"I hate you right now, James," it sounded in the background.
"Remus," Regulus murmured into his neck, "can't we just - do we have to do this? They can't force us, can they? I've never been this happy - I don't want it to end!"
Remus gently grabbed his chin and tilted his face up so he could look him in the eyes.
"I feel the same. But it's not real, Reg. Do you want to live a lie your whole life?"
Regulus looked into Remus' eyes for a long time. Then he slowly shook his head. He wanted to say 'yes', but he knew in his heart that it wasn't right.
When he lifted the vial to his mouth he felt like he was about to drink poison. The potion made his head spin and black dots dance before his eyes. He felt someone catch him as he collapsed.
When his head cleared he found himself sitting on the floor with Severus' arm draped around his shoulder. Remus was sitting opposite him, pulled into a fierce embrace by Sirius.
He blinked and tried to focus his mind. It felt like he had just woken up from a long and weird dream, except dreams were usually unclear and one rarely remembered the details of them. Regulus remembered everything. Everything.
"What now?" asked Severus, getting to his feet, his eyes boring into Dumbledore.
"What do you mean, Mr. Snape?"
"What about Potter? Surely he's going to be expelled!"
"What punishment will be imposed upon him is my business - not yours." The old wizard spoke in a tone that left no room for discussion, but Regulus, who knew Severus well, could see that he was on the verge of losing his temper, and that he wasn't about to let the matter rest.
"It's Regulus' business! I'm speaking on his behalf!"
"Sev, leave it. As long as he gets punished I don't care how. I just want to get out of here," said Regulus.
Severus swirled around to look at him. "How can you SAY that? After what he did to you! After all he's done to people over the years! Tell Dumbledore to throw him out!"
"There are extenuating circumstances, I should think," said Dumbledore. "The fact that Mr. Potter saved your life, Mr. Snape, two years ago, for one."
Severus' eyes were flashing, his hands curled into fist.
"And I think you should be grateful that I'm inclined to be lenient with you as well. Am I not right in suspecting that you have broken your vow to keep quiet about Mr. Lupin?"
Severus stared at him, his jaw clenched. Then his gaze dropped. "Yes. I... I had to warn him!"
"You can rest assured that appropriate actions will be taken. I will be having a very serious word with Mr. Potter later. But first, I think I shall speak with these two gentlemen," he looked at Remus and Regulus and then around at the others. When no one made signs to leave the office, he added,"- in private."
o0o0o
"Boys," the headmaster started, his voice full of sympathy. "I appreciate that this has been a very trying experience for you. I think it will be a good idea that you each talk this through with an understanding adult. I volunteer myself, of course, but if you would feel more comfortable with someone else we will figure that out, too."
Regulus wanted to be anywhere but there. Preferably he wanted to find a hole and hide in it. Forever.
"What's the use?" he said. "It's over and done with. Why keep flogging the issue?"
"You have both been through a very emotional experience."
"But it was all fake! They weren't real emotions!"
"It isn't that simple, Mr. Black. Emotions are very complex things. Which is also why they should not be played with. And why love potions and the likes are illegal."
"I don't know about Remus, but I don't need any counselling or whatever."
"I think I'll just talk with my friends about it," said Remus quietly.
Regulus snorted. "Right! You can have Potter comfort you. I'm sure he'll -"
"Now, now," said Dumbledore, raising a hand. "Let's not go there."
Regulus bit his lip to stop himself from continuing his sentence. Instead he said, "Please, can we just... can I go now? I just want to get on with my life and forget about this whole thing."
"Talking about forgetting," said the headmaster, "I've decided to offer you to be obliviated. I know it's a rather drastic measure, but due to the extraordinary circumstances I think you should at least be given the option."
"No thank you, Professor," said Remus. "I don't want a hole in my memory."
Regulus voiced his agreement.
"It's just that - you're both at a very delicate age, where discoveries are made -" Dumbledore cleared his throat, "- many 'firsts' are experienced -"
Regulus made sure to look anywhere but at the other two, and he was certain that Remus felt every bit as ashamed as he did. He could practically feel the heat radiating from his cheeks.
" - and since you're both boys..."
Merlin! Did the old man have to keep on embarrassing them like that? Was he enjoying himself?
"I'm not just talking about the physical aspects -"
"No offence, Sir, but I really don't wish to discuss my... personal life with you - or anybody else for that matter."
"Of course, Mr. Black. Just know that both my offers stand."
Regulus got up from his chair. "May I go now?"
Dumbledore motioned for him to sit back down. "In a minute. Just one more thing - I understand that you have become aware of Remus' condition. Can I trust you to keep that secret to yourself?"
"Yes."
Remus stared at Regulus, his jaw dropping. Why did he look so surprised, Regulus wondered. What had he expected? Did he look like a snitch or something?
"Why wouldn't I? I don't have a grudge against Remus. Let's just leave everything like it was before."
He got up once more to leave. Remus stood up as well and offered him his hand. Regulus tentatively took it.
"It was nice... knowing you," said Remus.
Regulus gave a curt nod and hurried out of the office.
o0o0o
Regulus heard the door to his dorm swing open.
"Okay. It's time to get up and come down for breakfast. I'm tired of playing your house-elf, bringing you all your meals."
"Go away, Sev. I'm ill."
"No, you're not! You're perfectly healthy. Look - I know you're embarrassed, but it's really not that big of a deal. Most people have already moved on to other things. This is Hogwarts. There are always new scandals to gossip about."
What Severus didn't understand was that the reason he avoided the Great Hall wasn't so much that he was afraid of the embarrassing comments and looks from the other students. No - the main reason was that he feared it would be too painful having to look at Remus at the next table. He would probably sit there, smiling and chatting with his friends as if nothing had happened.
Regulus didn't understand why it hurt so much thinking about the other boy. And it wasn't as if he could just stop thinking about him. He had tried - of course he had - but he just couldn't. It was almost as if he missed him. And Regulus didn't understand that either, because wasn't all that supposed to have gone away with the potion? It wasn't the same intense, desperate anguish he had felt when being separated from Remus during the time they were bonded, though. It was more of a dull, but ever present, ache in his chest.
It had been a week now, and he didn't feel any better - quite the opposite in fact. He heaved a sigh and decided that maybe it was time to pay the headmaster a visit, after all.
o0o0o
"So what brings you here, Regulus?" Dumbledore asked. His tone was kind and informal, probably because he could sense that Regulus was uncomfortable.
Regulus played with a loose thread in his jumper, searching for the right words. The old man waited patiently for him to speak.
"I - um... this is going to sound funny, but do you think there is any way that the potion hasn't worked properly?"
"What do you mean? What would make you suspect that?"
"It's just... I don't feel like I did before. I can't stop thinking about him. And it sort of... hurts," he said, not meeting the headmaster's gaze.
Dumbledore sighed. "I told you that it wasn't that simple with emotions, did I not?"
"Yes, you did, Sir. I didn't understand. I still don't understand."
Dumbledore smiled sympathetically. "I don't completely understand it either, so I cannot tell you what to do. I can, however, tell you that there is no chance that the potion has not worked properly."
"So where does that leave me?"
"Have you thought about why you feel this way?"
"I don't know why!" Regulus said irritably. "That's why I'm here!"
"Did you consider that maybe you genuinely miss him?"
"Why would I? We have no history. And what we had during the bonding episode wasn't real! I don't care about him, I never did. I... I don't know! It feels like I care, but I don't - I can't possibly..."
"Did you talk to Remus at all, since?"
Regulus shook his head.
"Well, perhaps you should. I can imagine that he, of all people, is the person most likely to understand what you're going through."
"I don't think so," Regulus mumbled as he rose from his chair to leave. "Well, I think I'll be going now. Thanks for your time, Professor."
"All right. Remember that you're always welcome in my office."
o0o0o
Regulus nearly bumped into someone as he entered the small hallway between Dumbledore's office and the revolving staircase.
"Oh... hi, Remus," he said, feeling sheepish.
"Hi," said Remus, smiling nervously.
They stood there for a while, shuffling their feet and glancing at each other.
"Well," said Remus finally, "this is awkward...."
"What are you doing here?"
"I just needed to see Dumbledore about something..."
"If you're here to ask whether the potion worked properly, I can save you the trouble," Regulus said before he could stop himself. The baffled look on the other boy's face told him that he had guessed right.
"You - you've already asked?"
Regulus nodded.
"Why?"
What was he supposed to say now? Oh, blast - why had he even mentioned it? Remus would find him ridiculous for sure, he would tell his friends and they would all laugh at him. "Just... I don't feel right," he finally settled on.
Remus was silent for a moment. Then he quietly said, "I miss you."
Regulus looked at him, surprised. "You do?"
"Yeah..."
"Me too. I think. I don't know why. I mean, I shouldn't, right? I think maybe I'm just confused, and -"
"Can I kiss you?" interrupted Remus.
"Wh-what?"
"I just want to know how it feels."
"You know how it feels! We've -"
"I know. But it's different now, isn't it? Aren't you the least bit curious?"
"I - okay," Regulus said lamely.
He gulped when Remus closed in on him, feeling his breath hitch with nervousness and excitement. Their faces drifted closer, ever so slowly. Regulus' eyes fluttered shut when their lips brushed softly. Remus ran his tongue along his lower lip, gently probing, and Regulus couldn't help letting out a soft sigh as he opened up to him. It felt strange. At the same time familiar and new. It wasn't the intense rush, like fireworks exploding, that they had known before, but it felt good, nevertheless. After a minute or so they parted.
"Oh," said Regulus.
"Yeah. That was nice."
They stood there, looking at each other for a while.
"So - what now?" asked Remus finally.
"I don't know."
"Do we just... part ways?"
The expression on his face left little doubt that he hoped the answer wasn't 'yes', and, truth be told, Regulus really didn't want to say it.
"Maybe... maybe we could try... seeing each other for a while? Just - casually, of course."
Remus nodded eagerly. "Not casual as in we're allowed to see others as well?"
"No, of course not! Just... just don't ask me to marry you again!"
Remus let out a tension breaking laugh. "Ah, well, I'll try to control myself."
Author:
m3535Prompt: PROMPT #113 - Regulus and Remus, due to a potion or spell mishap, end up accidentally bonded
Pairing: Regulus/Remus
Word Count: ~ 8400
Rating: PG-13
Warning(s): Language, hints of sex
Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended
Notes: Thanks so much to betas A and ETL.
Summary: A bit of a surreal fic in which Regulus and Remus are off the wall, Severus and Sirius are on the same page, James is in a cold sweat, and Peter is just having a good laugh
James Potter was finally at his wit's end. Three years of hard work and he hadn't made any sort of progress. Three years of courting, flirting, charming, showing off, bragging, and even begging had gotten him absolutely nowhere with his heart's desire. Not even a date. Not one measly little date.
A more realistic and less conceited person would have accepted his defeat by now and realised that the girl was simply not interested, but James was no such person. He was convinced that Lily and he were meant to be. The only problem was that the gorgeous redhead - stubborn as she was - refused to see it.
It was this desperation that drove him to do it. When he stumbled upon the instructions in an ancient Potions book the temptation was simply too strong. The potion was supposed to create a soul bond between two people and it was just what James needed.
Deep down he knew that it was wrong. Very, very wrong. Which was also why he did not involve any of his friends in his plan - not even Sirius, with whom he normally shared everything. However, it was not as if he was imposing an artificial bond between the two of them, he rationalised. It was already there, it just needed magnifying so that Lily could see it. How strong could the effects be, anyway?
James was in a state close to panic. His plan had gone wrong - terribly wrong. It was all McGonagall's fault, he thought bitterly. He had been in charge of the yearly Prefect Christmas get-together, and what a perfect occasion that had been. James had had it all figured out. He had spiked two of the welcome drinks, and he planned to take one and hand the other to Lily as the Head Boy and Girl welcomed the others.
He had just arranged all the glasses on the tray when McGonagall had insisted that he step out of the room with her for a quick word. James had protested strongly and asked if it couldn't wait until they had opened the party. It couldn't. And when he, just two minutes later, had returned, the obnoxious guests had already helped themselves to drinks.
The first horrifying thought that entered his mind was that Lily might have taken one of the spiked drinks and would be bound to someone other than him. He had grabbed and all but shaken her, demanding to know from what part of the tray she had picked her glass. To his great relief he found that she had not taken one of the glasses in question. This, however, did not mean that all was well and good. Two of the prefects had ingested the potion, and he had no idea which ones.
Well, he thought sullenly, he would find out soon enough, wouldn't he?
Regulus Arcturus Black woke up in his dorm feeling a bit odd. Maybe he was getting ill. Great, he thought bitterly. Just what he needed on the day of the annual Quidditch game against Gryffindor. Fever and flying didn't fare well together - he knew that from experience.
At breakfast he sat stabbing at his food, not really hungry. He had a funny feeling in his stomach.
"Nervous about the game?" asked Severus, who sat opposite him.
Regulus shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe a little."
"Don't worry. We'll put them straight. Just look out for Potter..."
Regulus looked up from his plate. "Why? He's not seeker."
"No, but his head is so darn big, it takes up half the field! We wouldn't want you to collide with it..."
Regulus laughed. "Oh, don't worry. My eyesight is fine."
"Unlike his," Severus added, eliciting another snigger from Regulus.
Regulus' eyes moved to the neighbouring table where his idiot brother sat, making a show of himself as usual, flinging his arms around and talking loudly. His three equally idiotic cronies were laughing as if he was the funniest bloke in the world. Rodent Face, Four Eyes, and... well, maybe Lupin wasn't as bad as the others. In fact, he was quite nice, come to think of it. He also had a nice smile. How come he'd never noticed before? He had really kind, pretty eyes and - wait - pretty??? I didn't just think that!
"What are you staring at?" asked Severus.
"Nothing," he said hurriedly and tore his eyes away from Lupin, feeling heat rise in his cheeks.
Severus looked over his shoulder in the direction where Regulus had been looking. When he spotted the four Marauders his face turned ugly.
"Forget about him, Reg. He isn't worth your attention."
"Oh, I wasn't -"
"You should be happy your family got rid of him."
"I am." That wasn't completely true, but Severus didn't need to know that.
When Snape turned his attention back to his breakfast, Regulus couldn't help looking back at Lupin, and his stomach did a flip when he found the other boy looking straight back at him. Their eyes locked, and Regulus wasn't able to look away again. His heart started hammering like crazy - what the fuck was wrong with him?
"Black. BLACK!"
"What?" he snapped at the person shaking his shoulder.
"Time to go! The game, Black."
"Oh... right."
The game was a disaster. They had lost, and it had been his fault. Twice the snitch had flown right by his head without him even noticing it. He could still hear his team mates' angry yells ringing in his ears.
No, wait - it wasn't his fault at all. It was Lupin's! How was Regulus supposed to concentrate when he had felt the Gryffindor's eyes glued to him constantly? He probably did it on purpose, too - some dirty trick to help his team win.
Regulus woke with a start, gasping for air. He was soaked in sweat, the sheets clinging to his skin, and his boxers sticky. He had just had the most disturbing wet dream ever. Images of tawny hair and amber eyes were still fresh in his mind. Lush lips, flat chest, firm buttocks, and - Oh, God. He brought a shaky hand up to his forehead. What the hell is wrong with me?
After having listened carefully to his roommates' breathing, making sure they were still asleep, he snuck into the bathroom. Standing in the shower, letting the hot water cleanse his body, the thoughts were whirling in his head. What was happening to him? Maybe he should go see Madam Pomfrey. But what was he going to say to her? Please help me, I think I've caught gay? No, that was completely out of the question.
Was that how it normally worked? Did people just wake up one day and realise they were gay? And what if he really was? Why the obsession with Lupin? He tried picturing himself with different handsome boys, but no - none of them did it for him. Only the quiet Gryffindor.
Back in bed he was tossing and turning. He was afraid to fall asleep because what if he had another dream? On the other hand, it could hardly get any worse. He couldn't stop thinking about Lupin. He imagined him lying in his bed in the Gryffindor Tower, equally restless and thinking about Regulus. The thought made him warm inside and his heart beat a little faster. Oh, how he wished he could see him now. Be close to him. Touch him. It hurt thinking about how far away from each other they were.
Suddenly Regulus felt sure that he was going to die if he didn't get to see his fellow prefect right now. He got up from his bed and dressed quickly. Then he tiptoed out of the dorm and crossed the common room. He had no idea what he was doing, it just felt like the thing to do. He left the Dungeon and continued through the corridors, steered by a mysterious force. He climbed a few stairs and rounded a few corners. Then he stopped.
There was someone approaching him. The person's lit wand was not enough to reveal their identity, but it didn't matter. Regulus already knew who it was. They came to a stop just a few yards from each other.
"Re- Black..."
"Lupin." Regulus could hardly get the word out.
"Call me Remus," said Lupin, sounding just as nervous as Regulus.
"Remus," he said slowly, tasting the word. Then, after a few seconds, "What are you doing here?"
"I just... somehow I knew you'd be here." He stepped closer so they were standing right in front of each other.
The Gryffindor looked so lovely that Regulus just had to reach out and touch him. Remus sucked in a breath when the hand cupped his cheek.
"I can't stop thinking about you," Regulus whispered, his voice shaky. "I had a dream..."
He didn't get to say anymore, because the next second Remus was kissing him.
Regulus' mind imploded. Remus was kissing him and he had never felt this amazing. He had never felt so right, so complete. It was like his whole life had been leading up to this very moment. Their lips were moving against each other, their tongues were twirling, and Regulus slipped his free arm around the other boy's waist and pulled him in so their bodies were flush against each other. He craved his closeness, wanted desperately to merge with him so they could become one. He knew that he would never, ever let go.
James was extremely stressed. The extent of the gravity of his actions had finally dawned on him. He couldn't understand how he could ever have thought that imposing a Bonding Potion on Lily was a good idea. Love made you do crazy things, it seemed.
The past three days he had been keeping a close eye on the prefects, but he hadn't seen anything suspicious. The problem was that he didn't really know what to look for. He didn't know what the "symptoms" were supposed to be or how it would work. The book hadn't mentioned it. He wondered if it would even show. Maybe you couldn't tell just by looking at people. Maybe the potion hadn't even worked. Maybe he hadn't brewed it correctly. It was a very advanced potion after all.
He had spent a lot of time in the library, searching for a counter potion, but so far he had found nothing. He realised that it was reckless of him not to have done this before he had spiked the drinks. He really had not thought things through, and he was exceedingly ashamed of himself. He wished he could ask some expert for help, but he couldn't very well go to Slughorn with his problem. The school's best Potion students, Lily and Snape, were, of course, also out of the question. He shuddered by the thought of Lily finding out. He would be a dead man.
They were walking down the corridor, Sirius and Peter avidly discussing a new prank. James only managed to join in half-heartedly. He had other things to worry about.
As they turned a corner they came upon a couple leaning against a windowsill, snogging enthusiastically.
Sirius wolf-whistled and cried, "Get a room, lads!"
Peter stopped abruptly and Sirius bumped into him.
"Hey, Pete - give us a bloody warning before you-"
"Fuck! That's Moony!" exclaimed Peter. "And - and..."
James felt his heart jump into his throat. How the hell could he not have noticed one of his closest friends being affected? Well, come to think of it, he had barely seen Remus the last couple of days.
"What the bloody hell are you doing?" cried Sirius.
Regulus reluctantly broke the kiss and sent Sirius a scowl. "What does it look like we're doing?"
"It looks like you're trying to eat each other's faces off, but I can't for the love of Merlin come up with a good reason as to why you would want to do that!"
"Our reasons are none of your business."
"The hell it is! That's my friend you're experimenting with!"
Regulus opened his mouth to retort, but Remus beat him to it.
"It's not an experiment, Padfoot. We're a couple now. We're in love."
"You're WHAT?"
"We're a couple, and we're in love," Remus repeated patiently.
"Since when?"
"Since..." Remus scrunched up his face, "Sunday."
Sirius muttered a string of unintelligible curses under his breath.
"Blimey! You never cease to surprise me, Moony," said Peter, shaking his head. "Hell, I didn't even know you were into blokes..."
James could only stand by and watch. The shock hadn't settled yet and all he could think was, 'oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!'
"Do you mind giving us some privacy?" said Regulus, sounding rather annoyed.
Sirius ignored him and addressed Remus again. "I don't get it. How did the two of you... why my brother - of all people, Moony?"
"It's not something we planned. We were just... drawn to each other. It's like we're meant to be."
An odd strangled sound escaped James.
Regulus was nibbling and nuzzling Remus' ear affectionately, murmuring something into it.
Remus smiled and murmured back, "Love you, too."
"You've got to be taking the piss!" uttered Sirius. "Stop this madness! Now!"
"Go away, Sirius," said Remus, finally starting to sound irritated.
"Honestly, Padfoot, give them some privacy," said Peter, pulling Sirius back by his jumper.
Sirius let himself be dragged back a few yards, still staring at the cuddling couple.
"But they can't do this! It has to stop!"
"You don't have the right to tell them what to do. If they want to be together, then that's their business."
"But that's my little brother! And my friend!"
"And you're not in charge of either of them."
"But they're not of age! At least Reggie isn't."
"Oh, for Godric's sake, Sirius!" Peter exclaimed.
Sirius turned to James. "Prongs - why are you just standing there? Say something!"
"What? I.. um... I agree with Wormtail."
Peter looked like the cat that got the cream.
Sirius raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "Is that all you have to say?"
"Well, what else is there to say?"
"But there's something fishy about it. Who says 'I love you' after just three days?"
"Moony, obviously," replied Peter.
Sirius sighed and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms. "This is surreal. I just... I need an explanation."
He turned to Remus. "Moony, could you talk to us in private for a minute? You've got to understand this is really weird for us. You owe us an explanation. Please."
Remus sighed. "Okay. I guess you're right." He took both of Regulus' hands in his. "Darling - do you mind leaving us alone for a moment?"
"Why can't I stay?"
"I need to talk to my friends."
"But you can talk to them with me here," the younger boy whined. "We don't keep any secrets from each other."
"Reggie - go to your common room!" Sirius ordered impatiently.
Regulus narrowed his eyes. "You can't boss me around! You lost that right when you moved out last summer!"
"Please," said Remus. "I'll see you later, okay? I won't be long. Promise."
"Well, all right," mumbled Regulus. "But hurry."
"I will," said Remus and kissed him deeply.
"Good bye," whispered Regulus when their lips parted.
"I'll miss you," said Remus, making no move to leave.
"Oh, for crying out loud, Moony," Sirius said and tugged at Remus' sleeve, " - he's not moving to another country!"
"I'm glad you brought me up here," smiled Regulus.
"Yeah. It's nice here at night isn't it?"
Regulus nodded. They were sitting facing each other on the floor of the Astronomy Tower, occasionally looking up through the skylight but mostly into each other's eyes. He had always considered it incredibly corny when lovers went stargazing and hadn't imagined himself ever engaging in such an activity, but all of a sudden he found it ridiculously romantic. Especially because Remus looked gorgeous bathed in moonlight. Regulus felt like he was getting drunk just by watching him.
The last few days had been fantastic. He was ecstatic with joy and was certain that Remus and he were destined for each other. He wanted nothing more than to be with him all the time, give himself completely, be together forever - and forever couldn't start soon enough. But there was also a small part of him that was alarmed. A little voice in his head raising questions and comments such as - 'What's going on here?' and, 'This is going too fast!' However, it seemed to matter less and less and the voice was getting weaker and weaker every day.
"I love you," he said, plucking up Remus' hand. He brought it to his lips and gently kissed each finger, never taking his eyes off the other boy's amber ones.
Remus drew a shivering breath, his pupils impossibly large. "I..." he started, as if he didn't know what to say. "Will you marry me?" he suddenly blurted out. As soon as he had said it he clapped a hand to his mouth and his eyes widened as if in shock.
Regulus, too, was shocked. I can't believe he just asked me that! Is he crazy? he thought. We're just kids and we've only been -
"I'm sorry," said Remus, "I don't know why I said tha-"
"Yes!" Regulus heard himself exclaim. And now it was his turn to clap his hand to his mouth. Did I just say that?
Remus looked taken aback. "Y-yes, what?"
Now that Regulus came to think of it, he realised that he really did want this.
"Yes, I want to - unless you didn't - I mean -"
"Of course I meant it! I think. No, I know. I mean, I hadn't considered it before, but..."
"But we both know that we're going to be together forever, so why not make it official?" Regulus finished.
"Well?"
Regulus, who sat curled up in a big armchair, looked up at the sound of the peremptory voice, pulling himself out of his reverie. A determined looking Severus was standing in front of him, arms crossed and foot tapping.
"Well, what?"
"What's the matter with you?"
"What do you mean?" said Regulus, confused.
"You know what I mean!"
"I have no idea what you mean."
"You've been completely out of it for the last week or so."
"I have?"
"Yes!"
"I really have no idea what you're referring to..."
"Let me give you a few clues, then. Gryffindor. Prefect."
"Oh."
"Yeah, oh. I'm on to your little secret. I saw you together."
"It's not a secret," said Regulus matter-of-factly.
"Then why haven't you told me about it?"
"I've been preoccupied."
"So it would seem," Severus pointed out dryly. "So?"
"So, what?"
"So what is wrong with you! What has possessed you to fool around with that loser?"
"Remus is not a loser! And we're not fooling around. It's a serious relationship."
Severus snorted. "Why are you doing this? Is it to nark your brother?"
"Why would I -"
"Is it a bet? A dare?"
"No!"
"Then why?"
"Because I love him, of course!" Regulus exclaimed. Why was Severus being so dense? How hard could it be to understand? "How could I not? He's the most amazing person I've ever met! And we're so good together," he sighed, feeling a big smile spread across his face. "It's magical."
Severus looked intently at him, eyes boring into him as if trying to read his mind.
"You are actually being serious?" he said after a short while.
"Yes! Why is that so hard to believe?"
"Because, Reg, this is so unlike you. Being gay? All right. I'm surprised, but I suppose I can get used to that. But falling so hard for someone overnight? And Lupin, of all people? It doesn't make any sense! And you don't seem yourself. It's like you're walking in a daze."
"A symptom of being in love, I've heard."
"I don't buy it. Something's amiss."
"Will you stop it? You just can't stand it because he's friends with Potter and Sirius."
"That's not the only reason! I could tell you things about him that would make your hair stand on end."
Regulus very much doubted it. "Oh? What?"
Severus' jaw clenched as if he wanted to say something but couldn't.
"Well?"
"He's half-blood."
"You're half-blood. That doesn't stop me from being your friend."
"He's poor."
"Well, I'm rich, so that doesn't matter. I can support the both of us."
"He's a Gryffindor!"
Regulus laughed. "Oh, really? I had no idea!"
Severus scowled. "The point is, that the Regulus I know would never get involved with a Gryffindor. Let alone one of them."
"It's insignificant."
"You have to stay away from him! There's something..." He grinded his teeth. Then it burst out of him, "Reg, he's a werewolf!"
"I know that. He told me. I don' CARE! It's not his fault he got bitten."
Severus looked absolutely dumbstruck.
"Why can't you just be happy for me? I've found the love of my life! Actually I wanted to ask you to be my best man. We're getting married."
Severus made a noise in his throat that sounded like he was choking on his own spit.
"Have you gone completely off your trolley?" he finally exclaimed.
"So do you want to?"
"I'd rather die!"
Regulus couldn't help but feel a bit hurt. "You're my best friend. It shouldn't matter to you that you don't like him. You should be able to see past that - for me."
Severus drew out his wand and pointed it at Regulus. "Finite Incantatem!"
"What are you doing?"
"Do you feel any different?"
"No - why would I?"
The older boy stormed off without answering.
Regulus had just slipped back into his daydreams - about a certain Gryffindor, of course - when Severus came back.
"Hold out your hand," he commanded.
Regulus did so, automatically. Severus pointed his wand at it and a small slash appeared on the palm.
"OUCH! You cut me!" Regulus exclaimed, his eyes wide in disbelief. He tried to pull his hand away but Severus held on to it mercilessly.
"Stop whining, Reg. It's barely a nick. I need some blood," he said and held a vial under the cut. When a few drops had trickled into the transparent liquid in it, he let go of Regulus' hand.
"Don't worry, I'll heal that in a minute," he said while twirling the vial carefully. The blood mixed with the liquid, tinting it pink.
"I don't understand," he mumbled to himself, still staring into the vial in his hand.
"What don't you understand?"
"Love potion... it's negative. I was so sure somebody had slipped you one."
James and Sirius had just left the last lesson of the day when, out of nowhere, a furious looking Snape lunged himself at Sirius. Before the Gryffindor could react, Snape had grabbed him by the collar and slammed him up against the wall, jamming his wand into his neck.
"What did you do to Regulus?" he snarled, their faces inches from each other.
Sirius was too surprised to be angry. "What? I didn't do anything to Reggie!"
"Bloody liar! I know you did it! I KNOW!" He punctuated the last word with a shake, causing Sirius to bump the back of his head against the wall.
"What the fuck are you talking about? Did something happen to him?"
"Don't play dumb!"
"Prongs - a little help here!" Sirius said, casting a sideways glance at his friend.
James, who had just been standing there, shocked, was jerked out of his stupor.
"Let go of him, Snivellus!" he cried, his wand pointed at the Slytherin's temple.
Snape sneered at him but didn't release his grip. "Stay out of it, Potter!"
"Let go! Don't be stupid - you're outnumbered."
"I'm not afraid of you!"
"I don't care what you are. Let go of Sirius, now!" James growled.
Severus looked daggers at him. Then he grudgingly stepped back, holding his wand up in a defensive position.
"Don't think I'm letting you off the hook, Black. I want to know what you did! Did you have a good laugh? Did you think it would be funny to see him make a complete arse of himself?"
"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ??" Sirius yelled, his temper finally catching up with him.
"I knew you were completely devoid of decency and morals, but this..." Severus spat, "- your own flesh and blood!"
"We might not be on the best of terms, but I'd never do anything to hurt him!"
James saw a worried expression flash across Sirius' face.
"WHAT HAPPENED TO REGGIE?" he demanded.
"YOU TELL ME!" Severus shot back.
Before anyone could blink, Sirius had pulled his wand. "Tell me RIGHT NOW what you're talking about, or I'll make sure you spend the holidays tied to a hospital bed!"
Severus' gaze flickered between the two Marauders' wands. Then his lip curled up in a first class sneer.
"Fine. If you want to play like that. You did something to mess with his mind and just like last time it would seem that you used your little friend as a prop in your twisted prank."
Sirius' jaw dropped. "Re-Remus? Oh. Oh! You think that I'm responsible for their insane behaviour?"
"That's exactly what I think!" Severus brought his hand up to his forehead, his brows knitting together. "This is getting us nowhere," he mumbled to himself. Then he looked back at Sirius. "Wait here!" he ordered and stalked off.
Sirius just stood there, staring after the agitated Slytherin.
James' stomach was in knots. Snape was on to something, he'd just picked the wrong target. Where was he going? To fetch a professor? He shivered at the thought. Of course he had known that something like this was bound to happen sooner or later, but he had desperately hoped that he would be able to find a counter potion or some other solution before anyone found out. But he should have told Sirius, at least. Oh, Merlin, he should have told Sirius. He couldn't let him find out this way!
"You aren't seriously going to do what he says, are you? Let's go, Padfoot."
"No. I'm waiting. I want to know what's going on with Moony and Reggie. I knew something was off!"
"Sirius, we need - I need to talk to you."
"Then talk."
"Not here. Let's go somewhere private."
"It'll have to wait, then. I'm staying here till I find out what Snivellus is up to."
James was still pleading with Sirius to go with him when Severus came back, literally dragging a baffled and protesting Regulus along. When they reached the Gryffindors, he forcefully shoved Regulus forward into Sirius' arms.
"Fix him!" he ordered.
Sirius just managed to catch him by the armpits as he stumbled face first into his chest.
Regulus looked up at his brother's face with big eyes and a confused expression - and then a tentative grin. "Hi."
"Hi, yourself," Sirius replied and manoeuvred Regulus into an upright position.
"What does he mean? What are you going to do to me?"
"I'm not going to do anything to you. I have no idea what's wrong with you, but I surely would like to find out!"
Regulus groaned. "Oh, no - not you, too! There's nothing wrong with me. Or Remus."
James could hardly look at the younger Black. It made his stomach churn in guilt.
"All right, Black," said Snape. "You've had your fun. Enough with the charade. If you don't confess RIGHT NOW, I'll fetch your Head of House and we'll see if she can pull it out of you."
"I HAVN'T DONE ANYTHING TO HIM! How many times do I have to say it? How thick ARE you, you bloody moron!?" screamed Sirius, his face rapidly turning crimson.
"What's going on here?"
Everybody's heads turned to see Remus and Peter coming down the corridor towards them.
"Remus!" Regulus squealed in delight and lunged himself at his boyfriend.
Peter made his way around the happily reunited couple. "What's happening?"
"We were just discussing how Black here is responsible for those two's outrageous behaviour. Or are you all in on it? Is that it? The werewolf had a crush, so you decided to help -"
"Keep your voice down!" Sirius hissed through his teeth.
"Leave him out of it!" said James. "He's got nothing to do with it!"
Snape slowly turned his head and looked straight at James.
"And how do you know that?"
"He would never do something like that! Remus is the most honest and decent person -"
Snape's eyes bore into James. "You..." he hissed after a few second. "It was you. YOU did this!"
James swallowed nervously. "I - um - of course not!"
But now Sirius and Peter were staring at him too, and he felt cornered.
"James?" said a very confused looking Sirius. "What is... do you know something?"
James opened his mouth but nothing came out.
"You do! You know something. What did you - how do you -"
"He knows because he DID it!" Snape cut in.
"What did he do?" asked Peter, who had only heard a small part of the row and was more than a little confused.
"James...?" Sirius said, narrowing his eyes.
James knew that the game was up. He didn't know what he dreaded the most - Snape's reaction or Sirius'. Well, on second thought, maybe he did.
"Okay, okay," he said, holding his hands up in an appeasing gesture. "Sirius, just... listen..."
"Get on with it!" Sirius and Snape said, almost in unison.
"They're bonded."
"Bonded? Bonded how?"
"A soul-bond. I, um, made a potion... accidentally..."
Sirius' eyebrows shot upwards. "You accidentally made a potion?"
"No! I mean - Regulus and Remus drank it by accident."
James told them the whole story - of course leaving out the part about who the potion was actually intended for. When he had finished, there were a few minutes of Sirius ranting and raving. James had expected as much. He was just relieved that he didn't wield wand nor fists against him, and he waited patiently for him to tire himself out.
Snape just stood there with crossed arms and a disconcerting smirk on his face. He was obviously satisfied with letting Sirius do all the yelling.
Finally Sirius seemed to run out of air and obscenities. He took a moment to regain his breath while looking intently at Remus and Regulus, who didn't seem to have registered anything that had been going on or even realise that there were other people around.
"Do you think they've... you know...?"
"What do you think?" Peter laughed. "They can barely keep their hands off each other in public! Oh - scratch out 'barely'," he added as he saw Snape swatting Regulus' hand away from the hem of Remus' shirt.
Sirius turned back to James, looking furious.
"You sod! Because of you, Moony and my little brother have lost their virginities!"
"How do you know they were there to be lost?"
"Well I don't... but Reggie's just a baby, and Moony - he's so innocent. And now you've spoiled them!"
"Honestly, Sirius. Don't you think you're overreacting?"
"It's basically rape! You've raped them, Prongs!"
"Padfoot, get a grip!" intervened Peter.
"Actually, for once, I agree with Black," said Snape pointedly.
"What's with the smug grin?" asked James. "I thought you were upset on Regulus' behalf!"
"Oh, I am. I just can't help but rejoice in the fact that we will soon have seen the last of you. You're going down for this, Potter! There's no way that even Dumbledore will let this one pass."
James gulped. It would be a lie to say that he had not thought the exact same thing.
"Of course he won't get kicked out," interrupted Peter. "It was an accident! We will give them a counter potion and everything will be fine! Right, Prongs?"
"Um... I haven't found one yet. That's why I've kept quiet. I've been looking -"
"You don't have a counter potion?" Snape cut in. "Why am I not surprised." He threw his hands into the air. "Complete and utter recklessness."
Sirius went pale. "But what are we going to do? We can't... we have to... fix this," he gestured towards Remus and Regulus.
"I'll tell you what we're going to do," said Snape, his voice thick with glee. "We're going to go to Dumbledore, and I'm sure he and Professor Slughorn will be able to cure them. And then we shall see what the consequences are going to be."
"Off course they're not going to throw him out," said Sirius, although not sounding convinced. He looked torn between being angry with James and not wanting him to get expelled. "Remus will forgive him and ask Dumbledore not to."
"Ah, but will Regulus?"
"If I ask him nicely..."
Snape laughed. Then he suddenly stopped and narrowed his eyes. "By the way - why did you brew the potion in the first place? Who was it intended for?"
James felt himself break out in a cold sweat. He had to get out of this one, because if Snape found out, Lily would find out, and that just could not happen!
"It was for a prank... payback, if you will. Two of the prefects had played a nasty trick on me..."
"Which ones?"
James could see Sirius open his mouth, probably to ask a similar question. He caught his eye, desperately trying with a subtle look to plead him to let the matter rest until later. To his immense relief, Sirius closed his mouth again, seemingly understanding.
"That's none of your business!" he bit at Snape. "But it wasn't Regulus. You probably don't even know them."
"I don't believe you!"
"Another problem, lads," Peter broke in. "How do we break it to the lovebirds?"
This turned out to be a very difficult, if not impossible, task. Even when they managed to get both of their attention, they refused to believe a word they were saying. First they laughed at what they thought was a ridiculous joke. Then, when the others wouldn't let up, they became increasingly more irritated.
"What's the matter with you people? Is this so hard for you to deal with, that you have to join forces against us?"
"No, Reggie - it's not like that! We're trying to help you!"
"By tearing us away from each other?"
"Don't think that I won't go to Dumbledore just because I'm letting you show me this," said Snape as James dumped a large shabby book on the table in front of him. "You're not worming your way out of this one!"
"I have no such illusions," replied James bitterly.
They had all gone to the library so that Snape could see which potion James had used. They also hoped that Remus and Regulus would be convinced when presented with the evidence.
The couple in question were sitting at the far end of the table, intertwining fingers and being silly, paying very little attention to the others. Regulus kept making Remus giggle by blowing his fringe away from his forehead.
"Are you absolutely insane?" said Snape and looked up from the open book in front of him. "This is extremely powerful stuff! One doesn't play around with potions like this!"
James didn't dignify it with an answer. He wasn't exactly in a position to argue, and even though he hated to admit it, the Slytherin was right.
"Where did you look for a counter po- will you STOP WITH THE STUPID GIGGLING, already? I can't concentrate!" cried Snape, glaring at Remus.
"I don't think your friend likes me much," Remus told Regulus.
"Don't take it personally. He'll come around. He just has a hard time getting used to the idea of us together, and he isn't exactly the most diplomatic person in the world. When I asked him to be my best man he gave me a rather rude answer."
Sirius almost fell off his chair.
Snape looked up at him with a sardonic grin. "Oh, you haven't heard of their little plan, I see."
"If he doesn't come around, you can always ask Sirius. He is your brother after all. I'm sure he would accept."
Sirius looked like a fish out of water. Peter tried very hard to keep from laughing at him.
"I thought you wanted to ask him to be yours," said Regulus.
"If you want him I can just use James or Peter."
"At normal weddings there is only one best man. How is it when it's two blokes? Do they actually get one each or is only one allowed?"
Sirius had finally regained the ability to speak. He jumped up and slammed his fist onto the table. "There will be no best man or best men! Because there will be no wedding! There will be counter potion and there will be bye bye love!"
It couldn't be true - it just couldn't. Regulus felt like his whole world was falling apart. His heart couldn't fathom it, but his brain finally understood that it really was true. The proofs were too many; the displayed books and scrolls, the solid arguments, the grave faces of Dumbledore and Slughorn, the awaiting potions on the desk.
Remus was holding him tight, his fingertips digging into his back so hard that it was sure to bruise. Regulus had buried his face in the crook of his neck and was breathing in his scent as if to make sure he would never forget it. The thought of being ripped away from the love of his live was just too much for him and be burst into tears. He could feel Remus shaking with the effort of holding back his own.
"I hate you right now, James," it sounded in the background.
"Remus," Regulus murmured into his neck, "can't we just - do we have to do this? They can't force us, can they? I've never been this happy - I don't want it to end!"
Remus gently grabbed his chin and tilted his face up so he could look him in the eyes.
"I feel the same. But it's not real, Reg. Do you want to live a lie your whole life?"
Regulus looked into Remus' eyes for a long time. Then he slowly shook his head. He wanted to say 'yes', but he knew in his heart that it wasn't right.
When he lifted the vial to his mouth he felt like he was about to drink poison. The potion made his head spin and black dots dance before his eyes. He felt someone catch him as he collapsed.
When his head cleared he found himself sitting on the floor with Severus' arm draped around his shoulder. Remus was sitting opposite him, pulled into a fierce embrace by Sirius.
He blinked and tried to focus his mind. It felt like he had just woken up from a long and weird dream, except dreams were usually unclear and one rarely remembered the details of them. Regulus remembered everything. Everything.
"What now?" asked Severus, getting to his feet, his eyes boring into Dumbledore.
"What do you mean, Mr. Snape?"
"What about Potter? Surely he's going to be expelled!"
"What punishment will be imposed upon him is my business - not yours." The old wizard spoke in a tone that left no room for discussion, but Regulus, who knew Severus well, could see that he was on the verge of losing his temper, and that he wasn't about to let the matter rest.
"It's Regulus' business! I'm speaking on his behalf!"
"Sev, leave it. As long as he gets punished I don't care how. I just want to get out of here," said Regulus.
Severus swirled around to look at him. "How can you SAY that? After what he did to you! After all he's done to people over the years! Tell Dumbledore to throw him out!"
"There are extenuating circumstances, I should think," said Dumbledore. "The fact that Mr. Potter saved your life, Mr. Snape, two years ago, for one."
Severus' eyes were flashing, his hands curled into fist.
"And I think you should be grateful that I'm inclined to be lenient with you as well. Am I not right in suspecting that you have broken your vow to keep quiet about Mr. Lupin?"
Severus stared at him, his jaw clenched. Then his gaze dropped. "Yes. I... I had to warn him!"
"You can rest assured that appropriate actions will be taken. I will be having a very serious word with Mr. Potter later. But first, I think I shall speak with these two gentlemen," he looked at Remus and Regulus and then around at the others. When no one made signs to leave the office, he added,"- in private."
"Boys," the headmaster started, his voice full of sympathy. "I appreciate that this has been a very trying experience for you. I think it will be a good idea that you each talk this through with an understanding adult. I volunteer myself, of course, but if you would feel more comfortable with someone else we will figure that out, too."
Regulus wanted to be anywhere but there. Preferably he wanted to find a hole and hide in it. Forever.
"What's the use?" he said. "It's over and done with. Why keep flogging the issue?"
"You have both been through a very emotional experience."
"But it was all fake! They weren't real emotions!"
"It isn't that simple, Mr. Black. Emotions are very complex things. Which is also why they should not be played with. And why love potions and the likes are illegal."
"I don't know about Remus, but I don't need any counselling or whatever."
"I think I'll just talk with my friends about it," said Remus quietly.
Regulus snorted. "Right! You can have Potter comfort you. I'm sure he'll -"
"Now, now," said Dumbledore, raising a hand. "Let's not go there."
Regulus bit his lip to stop himself from continuing his sentence. Instead he said, "Please, can we just... can I go now? I just want to get on with my life and forget about this whole thing."
"Talking about forgetting," said the headmaster, "I've decided to offer you to be obliviated. I know it's a rather drastic measure, but due to the extraordinary circumstances I think you should at least be given the option."
"No thank you, Professor," said Remus. "I don't want a hole in my memory."
Regulus voiced his agreement.
"It's just that - you're both at a very delicate age, where discoveries are made -" Dumbledore cleared his throat, "- many 'firsts' are experienced -"
Regulus made sure to look anywhere but at the other two, and he was certain that Remus felt every bit as ashamed as he did. He could practically feel the heat radiating from his cheeks.
" - and since you're both boys..."
Merlin! Did the old man have to keep on embarrassing them like that? Was he enjoying himself?
"I'm not just talking about the physical aspects -"
"No offence, Sir, but I really don't wish to discuss my... personal life with you - or anybody else for that matter."
"Of course, Mr. Black. Just know that both my offers stand."
Regulus got up from his chair. "May I go now?"
Dumbledore motioned for him to sit back down. "In a minute. Just one more thing - I understand that you have become aware of Remus' condition. Can I trust you to keep that secret to yourself?"
"Yes."
Remus stared at Regulus, his jaw dropping. Why did he look so surprised, Regulus wondered. What had he expected? Did he look like a snitch or something?
"Why wouldn't I? I don't have a grudge against Remus. Let's just leave everything like it was before."
He got up once more to leave. Remus stood up as well and offered him his hand. Regulus tentatively took it.
"It was nice... knowing you," said Remus.
Regulus gave a curt nod and hurried out of the office.
Regulus heard the door to his dorm swing open.
"Okay. It's time to get up and come down for breakfast. I'm tired of playing your house-elf, bringing you all your meals."
"Go away, Sev. I'm ill."
"No, you're not! You're perfectly healthy. Look - I know you're embarrassed, but it's really not that big of a deal. Most people have already moved on to other things. This is Hogwarts. There are always new scandals to gossip about."
What Severus didn't understand was that the reason he avoided the Great Hall wasn't so much that he was afraid of the embarrassing comments and looks from the other students. No - the main reason was that he feared it would be too painful having to look at Remus at the next table. He would probably sit there, smiling and chatting with his friends as if nothing had happened.
Regulus didn't understand why it hurt so much thinking about the other boy. And it wasn't as if he could just stop thinking about him. He had tried - of course he had - but he just couldn't. It was almost as if he missed him. And Regulus didn't understand that either, because wasn't all that supposed to have gone away with the potion? It wasn't the same intense, desperate anguish he had felt when being separated from Remus during the time they were bonded, though. It was more of a dull, but ever present, ache in his chest.
It had been a week now, and he didn't feel any better - quite the opposite in fact. He heaved a sigh and decided that maybe it was time to pay the headmaster a visit, after all.
"So what brings you here, Regulus?" Dumbledore asked. His tone was kind and informal, probably because he could sense that Regulus was uncomfortable.
Regulus played with a loose thread in his jumper, searching for the right words. The old man waited patiently for him to speak.
"I - um... this is going to sound funny, but do you think there is any way that the potion hasn't worked properly?"
"What do you mean? What would make you suspect that?"
"It's just... I don't feel like I did before. I can't stop thinking about him. And it sort of... hurts," he said, not meeting the headmaster's gaze.
Dumbledore sighed. "I told you that it wasn't that simple with emotions, did I not?"
"Yes, you did, Sir. I didn't understand. I still don't understand."
Dumbledore smiled sympathetically. "I don't completely understand it either, so I cannot tell you what to do. I can, however, tell you that there is no chance that the potion has not worked properly."
"So where does that leave me?"
"Have you thought about why you feel this way?"
"I don't know why!" Regulus said irritably. "That's why I'm here!"
"Did you consider that maybe you genuinely miss him?"
"Why would I? We have no history. And what we had during the bonding episode wasn't real! I don't care about him, I never did. I... I don't know! It feels like I care, but I don't - I can't possibly..."
"Did you talk to Remus at all, since?"
Regulus shook his head.
"Well, perhaps you should. I can imagine that he, of all people, is the person most likely to understand what you're going through."
"I don't think so," Regulus mumbled as he rose from his chair to leave. "Well, I think I'll be going now. Thanks for your time, Professor."
"All right. Remember that you're always welcome in my office."
Regulus nearly bumped into someone as he entered the small hallway between Dumbledore's office and the revolving staircase.
"Oh... hi, Remus," he said, feeling sheepish.
"Hi," said Remus, smiling nervously.
They stood there for a while, shuffling their feet and glancing at each other.
"Well," said Remus finally, "this is awkward...."
"What are you doing here?"
"I just needed to see Dumbledore about something..."
"If you're here to ask whether the potion worked properly, I can save you the trouble," Regulus said before he could stop himself. The baffled look on the other boy's face told him that he had guessed right.
"You - you've already asked?"
Regulus nodded.
"Why?"
What was he supposed to say now? Oh, blast - why had he even mentioned it? Remus would find him ridiculous for sure, he would tell his friends and they would all laugh at him. "Just... I don't feel right," he finally settled on.
Remus was silent for a moment. Then he quietly said, "I miss you."
Regulus looked at him, surprised. "You do?"
"Yeah..."
"Me too. I think. I don't know why. I mean, I shouldn't, right? I think maybe I'm just confused, and -"
"Can I kiss you?" interrupted Remus.
"Wh-what?"
"I just want to know how it feels."
"You know how it feels! We've -"
"I know. But it's different now, isn't it? Aren't you the least bit curious?"
"I - okay," Regulus said lamely.
He gulped when Remus closed in on him, feeling his breath hitch with nervousness and excitement. Their faces drifted closer, ever so slowly. Regulus' eyes fluttered shut when their lips brushed softly. Remus ran his tongue along his lower lip, gently probing, and Regulus couldn't help letting out a soft sigh as he opened up to him. It felt strange. At the same time familiar and new. It wasn't the intense rush, like fireworks exploding, that they had known before, but it felt good, nevertheless. After a minute or so they parted.
"Oh," said Regulus.
"Yeah. That was nice."
They stood there, looking at each other for a while.
"So - what now?" asked Remus finally.
"I don't know."
"Do we just... part ways?"
The expression on his face left little doubt that he hoped the answer wasn't 'yes', and, truth be told, Regulus really didn't want to say it.
"Maybe... maybe we could try... seeing each other for a while? Just - casually, of course."
Remus nodded eagerly. "Not casual as in we're allowed to see others as well?"
"No, of course not! Just... just don't ask me to marry you again!"
Remus let out a tension breaking laugh. "Ah, well, I'll try to control myself."
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