Fic: When You're Ready (Neville/Luna)
Jun. 29th, 2012 08:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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hp_rarefestTitle: When You're Ready
Author/Artist:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sempermea
Prompt: Blue (Pinch-hitting with my own prompt.)
Prompt submitted by: N/A
Pairing(s):Neville/Luna
Word Count/Art Medium: 6,739
Rating: (G to NC-17) PG-13
Warning(s): Schizophrenia
Disclaimer:Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: Beta'd by my lifesaver, DL. <3
Summary: With his parents living as permanent residents in the Janus Thickey Ward at St. Mungo's, Neville could safely say that nothing much ever changed. So when an old friend shows up in the Visitor's Lounge of Spell Damage, the expected quickly unravels into the unknown.
The world around him since graduating had been utterly normal. It hadn't been easy getting to this point, but now that he was here, everything seemed really... simple. He knew the rules and how to play the game and for the most part stuck to the beaten path.
That is, until she came back into his life and forged a whole new road through thickets of overgrown weeds and trees. She pulled the wool from his eyes and showed him that the world before had been an illusion, that not everything was black and white. It was a lesson his previous battles should have taught him, but they were heavily rooted in evil and good, where shades of grey were left to better men. Just as well, she skipped all color metaphors for life completely and instead brought him something even better. She brought him colors.
He couldn't understand why people gave her such a wide berth at times. Perhaps she talked of things that couldn't be proven one way or another, but he couldn't imagine not feeling her hand in his, watching her lips curve into that smile he loved so much, or seeing the look of wonderment dance in her eyes as she saw things that people either couldn’t or wouldn’t see.
Just as he couldn't understand people distancing themselves from her, they couldn't understand him needing to be closer. He was an educated man with a sound mind and a Professor to boot. He should see that this woman was clearly delusional and living in a world all her own. Never mind that she'd been instrumental to the downfall of Voldemort three times in the Battle of the Department of Mysteries, the Battle of the Astronomy Tower, and the final Battle of Hogwarts. They'd say she wasn't right in the head and that she never had been, not even in school. She was clever, but detached and that it seemed likely she'd never be able to separate reality from fantasy.
They'd insisted that Luna Lovegood was a clinically diagnosed Schizophrenic.
Neville walked into the Visitor's Area, a wave of nostalgia washing over him. This room hadn't changed in his 20 years of life.It was the same soft green color, with the same uncomfortable furniture. The wireless was always on and there were always two healers walking around and observing, making sure nothing went wrong. The only thing that seemed to change was himself.
There were pictures of him in this room long before his memory could recall. They were heartbreaking pictures, really, of him being held by a vacant woman, her eyes not even settling on the wiggling baby in her arms. Halfway through the picture, his Gran reached in and readjusted his mother's arms so that she would hold him correctly and still she did not notice.
That picture marked the beginning of weekly visits spent at St. Mungo's in this room. As he got older, he'd been permitted into the Janus Thickey Ward to see his parents, but until he'd turned eleven, he hadn't been allowed past the Visitor's Room. There were the common concerns of germs, noise, and a child becoming upset over what they were seeing, but the biggest reason was that a child was full of raw magic. That magic could easily disrupt the atmosphere and cause all the patients to become agitated. So until he'd been given his wand, he was stuck in the public eye of sympathetic onlookers.
He'd never paid attention to the other people in the Visitor's Lounge as he passed through. They never mattered, he'd only had one goal, one constant. That changed almost two years ago.
He'd graduated from Hogwarts the year before and was just now finishing his internship with Professor Sprout, who was due to retire at Summer's end. When school started back up, he'd return to it as Professor Longbottom.
Like always, he kept his eyes on the door that led to several different wards, always keeping his mind on the 49th where his parents stayed. It's funny how you get up one day and don't expect that this is the day that will change the rest of your life.
"Neville?"
The voice was soft, lazy as if someone spoke it from a dream and so very familiar. Startled, he turned to face the owner and found himself looking upon his old schoolmate, Luna Lovegood. She looked exactly as she had back then with her long blonde hair falling freely and her clear blue eyes hooded in a dreamy expression. A soft smile curved her lips and he felt himself smiling back. She was quirky as ever with her radish earrings still dangling from her ears and an old issue of Quibbler upside down in her lap.
"Luna, it's good to see you." Or perhaps it wasn't. As he'd learned long ago, having to be here never boded well.
She nodded her head and turned a page of the Quibbler without even looking at it. "Yes, it's good to see you as well." She tilted her head to the side, looking just to the right of him and hummed softly. "Your aura has changed."
He gave a blank blink at her words, but didn't find them to be all that odd. He'd been exposed to her special brand of charm often, even more so during their shared battles and days in Dumbledore's Army. "Has it? What was it before?"
"Purple," she said with a matter of fact nod.
He wasn't sure how he felt about a purple aura, but he laughed in turn. "I don't think purple is my color."
She smiled at his laughter and shook her head. "No, I prefer it now. Before it was dark, like you were sad or frustrated."
He quirked his brow, surprised by how strangely insightful that was. He wondered if she really saw his aura or if she'd just noticed what others guessed at. He hadn't been very good with school work and with his home life being broken as it was, it didn't make for the best of childhoods. Pepper in the stresses of the second Wizarding War and he wasn't exactly winning in lotteries in luck.
"I see, and what color is it now?"
The smile she gave him was gloriously bright and he found his stomach knotting in response.
"A beautiful light blue." He felt the irrational flush of color trying to stain his cheeks, it wasn't as if she'd called him beautiful, just a color surrounding him.
"And what does that mean?"
"Peace. It's an understanding color, tranquil."
"That makes sense, is that why Ravenclaw's banners are predominately blue?"
Her gaze snapped back to him, her blue eyes burning into his with intensity. He didn't have to question if he had her full attention, it was abundantly clear that he did, but it wasn't at all awkward. There was a softness to her eyes and a near constant smile that played across his lips. "I'd never thought of it before, but I suppose it could be."
That had been his first conversation with Luna since the ending of the War and it marked the first time that his eyes strayed around the Visiting Area looking for someone other than his parents.
Funnily, it had never crossed his mind that she was a patient there. That hadn't come out in the wash until their fourth conversation.
He'd walked in on his last day before the school semester started. Coming to see his parents had always put his mind at ease and his nerves could definitely use a bit of that. He wasn't overtly aware of it, but he also wanted to see Luna. His parents calmed him, but a part of him had always left feeling as if there was no hope, but Luna... Luna made him feel as if anything was possible.
His eyes traced a path that he was steadily becoming familiar with. His gaze swept toward the table nearest the window where he always seemed to find Luna, but she wasn't there. He could feel his smile falling a little as his stomach turned in disappointment. He'd thought it odd that she'd always happened to be there when he came to visit, but he'd been basing that on luck that didn't seem to be in his favor today.
"You're back."
That sweet voice washed over him and he sighed in what he realized to be relief. When he turned around, Luna was sitting as far from the window as possible. "You're here." He hadn't meant to say it, it was bit like stating the obvious, more than he realized at the time.
She laughed and gestured to the chair across from her. "Why wouldn't I be?"
He moved across the room and took the seat she'd indicated, shrugging his shoulders. "You usually sit near the window, I thought you weren't here today."
Her eyes flickered toward her old seat and she sighed. "It's unfortunate, isn't it?"
He tilted his head to the side, a small frown of confusion on his face. "What is?"
"The Wizbangs, they've made a nest just inside the window. They bite, you know. It's okay though, they'll stay by the window. They like it better over there."
Neville blinked several times, this was very reminiscent of a story she'd told once before about Nargles, but it was the first she'd mentioned any of her creatures that she used to speak of at school. She'd been quirky by any normal measure since seeing her here again, but never so far as this. He took it in stride though as he looked at the window, naturally not seeing what she was referring to.
"It's okay if you don't see them," she whispered after a long moment of him staring at the window, her voice was almost sad. "They don't reveal themselves to everyone."
His gaze played ping pong for several strokes as he looked at the window where there was very clearly nothing and to the expression on her face that spoke of disappointment, not in him, but in his inability to see what she saw. He wished desperately that he could, not at all wanting that look to be directed at him. "I can't see them..." He watched as Luna pulled in a sigh and turned her gaze to the window, watching it in a quizzical fashion, like someone trying to work out a puzzle, "but maybe they'll show themselves to me next week."
He watched as Luna's whole body froze for several heartbeats, her eyes slowly moving back to his own. She was looking at him as if he were the puzzle now, but there was something more to it. Where she had looked dejected at the window, she looked at him with hope. "Yes," she spoke carefully, "perhaps you'll see them then."
A kindly looking Healer stepped toward the table them, looking apologetic. "I'm sorry, but visiting hours are over now."
Neville nodded and rose from his chair, he hadn't realized how much time had passed, but he didn't worry about it. His parent's ward was open to him at any time, so there was no lost time with them.
"Neville... Will you come and see me again?"
He was confused by this request, he would come back to visit his parents and if he ran into her along the way, then that was an added bonus, but why did they have to meet here?
The woman stood by after placing a comforting hand on Luna's shoulder as if waiting with her for his answer. A sickening twist formed in his gut as a feeling of despair filled his chest. Luna had been here every day since the first time they spoke and she had never met with anyone but him. He'd never thought to ask who she was visiting, taking it for granted that she was here for someone she knew in Spell Damage. He should have realized these weren't kismet meetings, but he'd always been so used to the patients here being on the inside, not the Visitor Station.
Luna reached across the table, her soft, warm fingers taking his hand in her own. "Don't." Her words confused him, don't what? Don't come visit her? "You don't look good in purple, remember?"
His heart clenched tightly and he was sure he'd forget how to breath at any moment. She was talking about his aura again, had it gone purple in her eyes? Was that what he was feeling? Sadness? Sadness for his friend who was a patient at St. Mungo's, or perhaps he was feeling guilt because he'd never even realized she was here. He couldn't fathom why she had been admitted to Spell Damage, he knew that there were other patients here with maladies and ailments brought on by reasons other than magic, but he'd never seen them. Was that where she was placed? Was she here because she saw the world differently?
"I'll," his voice failed and he cleared his throat, squeezing her hand as he fought for control over his voice, "I'll come visit you next weekend."
Relief flashed across the healer's face, but it was nothing compared to the brilliance of Luna's. She lit up like fairy lights and he had to wonder for a moment if he wasn't seeing her own aura glowing happily around her.
She stood, gave him a little wave and allowed the nurse to lead her out of the Visitor's Room and through the door that led to other wards where patients stayed.
He'd come to visit her without fail every weekend after that. He'd spend his visiting hours with her and then go see his parents for a bit before returning to Hogwarts where papers upon papers waited for him. Sometimes he'd bring his work with him so that he wouldn't get behind and Luna would graciously offer to help him grade the essays. After the second week of her help, he stopped feeling the need to recheck her grading on the work she looked over. She may have been in a mental ward, but it hadn't affected her wit.
There were times, of course, where she'd stop and tell him about why a particular student was wrong, like how one of his Ravenclaws was sorely misguided about the uses for Ginger. She went on and on about how Ginger was the main food source for Clopping Callies whom of which were nothing more than silly creatures who danced around and around until they got sick, especially whilst eating. This resulted in the contamination of most Ginger which was usually in spray range of their bile. He learned that when this happened, Ginger was more suitable as an ingredient in Befuddlement potions rather than Wit-Sharpening ones. Thankfully, she only shared this with Neville and not the student in question, amending that by all book standards she was correct, but impressing upon the importance of Neville updating his book sources.
On Holidays, he'd bring her little gifts and was always surprised when she had presents for him as well. They were simple things that she'd made, but he found each one of them had care and thought put into it. Such as the updated list of herbs that she swore he should make his students aware of. Most of the ingredients he'd never heard of and all of them were in affiliation with creatures he'd never seen. It wasn't practical in his standing, but he loved them no less and kept each one. Most he kept in his room, but there were a few, like her list of herbs, that he kept in his classroom. He'd never shared them with the class, but it was comforting to have something that personal of her with him.
Some people don't know when they fall in love with someone and that was true for him as well, but he could remember the moment when it became abundantly that he was already in love with her. There was definitely no going back from that moment and he couldn't think of one reason why he would want to.
When he walked into the room, she was waiting for him, that much wasn't unusual. What was, however, was that she was standing near the door, waiting to ambush him once he appeared. Her smile was sunny and her eyes lit up in excitement that he found infectious. She had her long hair pulled back in a ponytail, a few strands falling into her eyes. "I've got a surprise for you," she sing-songed.
There was a healer waiting behind her, the same woman who'd told her what seemed like forever ago that visiting hours were over. She reached behind the desk near the door and pulled out a floppy hat that she proceeded to place upon her head. To say that it looked severely out of place in the room would have been an understatement
"What's that?"
She shook her head far too enthusiastically and grabbed his hand, tugging him toward the door that led out into the rest of the hospice. As far as he knew, patients weren't allowed out of their wards and his eyes flickered to her Healer, Healer Vanroe, who just smiled and gestured along after Luna.
Feeling incredibly in the dark, he followed her out of the room, Healer Vanroe trailing along behind them. They moved to the elevator and took it all the way down to ground level, but instead of heading toward the doors that lead out into the world, Luna guided him out towards the back where a small courtyard was set up. He supposed that this wasn't so unnatural after all. He'd never seen his parents outside their ward, but that didn't mean that other patients didn't get to roam around and get fresh air. In fact, it struck him as odd in the year that he'd been visiting Luna that this was the first time that they'd ever left that stuffy room.
She skipped the courtyard all together and instead pulled him to the side of the building were small areas were cordoned off with small decorative fences. There was nothing inside except for slightly tilled Earth. Again he looked toward Luna confused, but she just laughed at him, finding enjoyment in his confusion. He marveled at the notion that he'd gladly stay confused the rest of his life if only it would amuse her.
Curiosity got the better of him though and the Healer was offering no help as she ambled off to sit at one of the tables in the courtyard, a book in hand that she clearly intended to read.
"I know you teach Herbology all week, but I thought it might be nice if patients here could enjoy your craft as well." Saving him from having to look further confused she pulled at his hand gently and brought him along to the side of the building. Around the corner sat several bags of soil, some gardening tools and dozens of flowers and herb plants.
"Do you mind helping me?"
She looked up at him with hopeful eyes and even if he'd wanted to say no, there would have been no way that his mouth would actually be able to say the word. He'd never know why Luna had been trusted to do this spot of gardening --perhaps because he'd be there to help her-- nor would he figure out how the supplies had even gotten there. He tried to ask her, but instead of giving answers, she just smiled a secret sort of smile and shook her head.
They spent the rest of the day working in the little plots provided and Luna proved to be a solid assistant. She knew what she was doing and offered a constant string of conversation. In truth, it was interesting to plant things that didn't fight back with him. They only planted decorative and aromatic plants, providing patients with things to stimulate the senses, instead of their minds.
When they were done, Neville sat back and looked over their work with a sigh. It definitely perked up the place and it would only take a few simple spells to keep the flowers in bloom and healthy. Anyone could do it in their spare time. Hell, he'd do it over his visits if need be. Anything to see the sheer joy and accomplishment on Luna's face.
"There's one more thing I wanted to do..."
He tilted his head thoughtfully, wondering what more she would want to give, but he smiled and answered with the only word that came to mind. "Anything."
She smiled and glanced back at Healer Vanroe, a silent conversation moving between them. With a few swish and flicks, the previously empty table had an empty pot and a Blue Delphinium plant perched on top. Luna seemed a little nervous, but she forged on ahead. "I think your mother might enjoy this flower in her room." Calling his mother's space a room was being courteous since it was nothing more than a sheet separating her from the rest, but he couldn't even begin to split hairs like that as her suggestion rolled around in his head.
The emotion that took hold in him was surprising. All he could do was stare into those beautiful, hopeful eyes and try to remember how to breath. Luna wanted to do something for his mother, give her something. He couldn't remember the last time someone had done a kindness for his mother that wasn't part of hospice routine.
"...Delphinium is the flower for my birth month." It wasn't the most intelligent thing he could say, but spouting random facts was about as much brain activity as he could manage.
Her face softened before she turned her gaze toward the plant, nodding a little. "It is. I think she'd like it. I think it suits you." He shook his head, not understanding, but he didn't have to ask questions. "The colors, they aren't perfect matches, but they're reminiscent of your aura. Of where you've been and who you are."
It crossed his mind that parts of the plant were toxic, but that was only his mind running on pure useless factoids. His mother had always been detached, not crazy, so the fear that she'd end up eating it wasn't a relevant one. He couldn't say the same for her ward-mates, but Healer Vanroe didn't seem to be worried by it, so he wouldn't worry either.
"Luna... I... I don't know what to say." What could you say? This girl had just offered his mother a gift, a token that she believed would remind her of her son. No one had ever been so kind to his mother and in doing so, no one had ever been so kind to him. It was a priceless gift and he could think of no better one apart from his parents getting better.
Emotion swelled in his chest, tightening his throat and prickling at his eyes. As he looked upon her, hair glowing in a halo of sunlight, eyes bright with hope, it hit him like a ton of bricks that he could never go back to his former life. His weekends and holidays were always spent here, but there was more reason than just his parents to come here. The woman he loved was here as well.
Her eyes flickered just off to the side of him as they sometimes did when she was reading his aura. Whatever she saw there made her eyes flick away quickly as she mumbled in a near embarrassed tone, "Don't say anything, just help me plant it."
That plant sat at his mother's bedside table, the stem of blossoms constantly in bloom. The blue, purple edged petals brought a lightness into the room and made things seem more alive. Most days his mother didn't even acknowledge that it was there, but there were times where he'd come in and she was looking at them, touching and smelling the petals with a small smile on her face. He wasn't sure if she even knew what they were or what she was doing. He couldn't even be sure that she saw them at all. She never spoke about them or looked like she knew they were there beyond the few times he caught her smiling around them.
It didn't matter what she did or didn't see. That smile... every time he saw that small smile, a tear ripped into his heart. Smiles, half-hearted as they were, were rarities that he was blessed with only a few times a year, perhaps fewer. And in 6 months he'd seen it half a dozen times. It was like witnessing a miracle every time and it was all thanks to Luna.
He didn't think that he'd ever be able to make it up to her, but he had a few ideas...
Neville stepped into the stark room, feeling a little off balance in the surrounding white of the walls. He was so used to the soft green of the visiting room these days and it was a little unsettling to sit here, especially with it being empty.
The desk made of rich, dark wood in front of him lent the only splash of color to the room and it was piled high with papers stacked across the surface. At the front of it sat a name plate bore the name "Healer Vanroe." He looked around the office, noting several cabinets and certificates against the wall. He noted her Hogwarts diploma and only had a moment to wonder which House she belonged to when the door opened and the woman stepped in.
"Mr. Longbottom, I'm surprised to see you here instead of in the Visitor's Area."
"Neville, please." She nodded and he didn't bother agreeing that it was definitely strange to be here instead of with Luna or his parents.
"Of course. What is it you wanted to see me about today, Neville?"
The answer rolled around in his head, it was something he'd been thinking about for months now, but given the opportunity to say it allowed, he paused. His hands began fidgeting with one another and he decided that it might be best to answer with his own question.
"I wanted to inquire about Luna. I'm not meaning to ask for information you can't give, but why is she here? She seems... stable to me."
Healer Vanroe smiled gently at him, her eyes sparkling with something he didn't like, something that looked like knowledge.
"By all accounts, Luna is stable. Unfortunately, Mr. Long-Neville, this is more a case of policy." Neville shook his head, not understanding. What policy would keep a perfectly healthy person in a ward at St. Mungo's? "Cases like Luna's are most often overlooked, she's stable, healthy and a danger to no one. However, there were certain evaluations needed for all who took part in the second Wizarding World and it was through that that she was diagnosed. Follow up interviews indicated that it was a lasting condition predating the war and St. Mungo's feels that it's best as a precautionary measure to keep her under surveillance."
"Why would she need surveillance if she's fine?"
Vanroe's kind smile turned sad. "Traumas like the war can have effects on the psyche long after the event. With a pre-existing condition of Schizophrenia, she may be more susceptible to these kinds of psychological damages. We cannot release her without routine medication. Naturally, Luna doesn't feel as if she needs medication and after his time in Azkaban during the war, her father wasn't fit to retain guardianship as would be required for Luna to leave with no medication. There, unfortunately, is also no family on file that we could transfer guardianship to."
Neville leaned back in his chair and stared down at the Healer's nameplate, mulling this information over. "So... what if Luna had someone volunteer to take over a guardian role?"
"If she were to acquire a guardian, there would have to be evaluations done on both parties."
"How long would that take?"
The healer turned thoughtful and sighed, "The paperwork is long and she'd have to be evaluated over a period of time to make sure there are no changes in behavior prior to her initial diagnosis. The process could take anywhere from one to three months, depending on Luna's results."
Neville began to fidget again as he chewed on his next question. There was no logical reason not to come right out with it, only that he feared rejection.
"Who is eligible to sign for her?" He didn't like the mousy way he posed the question, but Vanroe didn't appear as if she noticed.
"Someone with a stable environment, job, and home. Someone that has taken an interest in her and more importantly, someone she agrees to." She didn't stop for the tiny flicker of dread to fill his heart. "Let's not beat around the bush, Neville. You're the Herbology Professor at Hogwarts, yes?" It was a rhetorical question as she didn't wait for his answer before asking her next question. "Do you live on campus?"
He nodded mutely and felt that flicker grow into a constant heart beat at the look of regret on her face. "You seem like a worthy candidate. I've seen the way you watch her and how easily you interact with her even while she's talking of things that no one else can see. However, Hogwarts is not a suitable home for her. There is no privacy and considering the War, I doubt many on the Medical Board would agree that it's fitting. Talk it over with Luna and if she agrees, I suggest that you find a private residence. Once you do that, I'll put in the request and we'll get the ball rolling."
Neville remembered feeling a whirlwind of emotion that day, but he couldn't define a certain one. Mostly he'd felt sick. What if Luna didn't want to leave St. Mungo's and live with him? What if he couldn't find a place? What if he wasn't good enough and couldn't meet up to the Medical Board's standards?
Needless to say, he didn't find the guts to even approach the question until some weeks later.
Luna sat besides the flowers that they'd planted nearly seven months ago, pulling budding weeds up from the ground so that the flowers wouldn't get choked. He'd told her several times that they could just use magic for it and it would work just as well, but she'd shook her head adamantly and went about her work.
"Magic may do just as well, but I'd rather do it myself. It just feels more rewarding."
He couldn't find fault with that logic, so he'd bent down beside her and they both worked silently, getting through half the flowers before she finally broke the silence.
"This is nice." He hadn't noticed that she'd stopped, allowing her dirty hands to settle carelessly in her lap and getting her pants dirty for it. Her head was tipped back toward the sun, eyes closed, and a delicate breeze blew through, tousling her hair.
"What is?"
"This. Being outside of the box for once."
He glanced to the box in question, looking toward the doors of St. Mungo's. That was a fairly accurate description. She didn't have many restrictions, but she didn't have freedom either. She was restrained by a schedule that was not her own, in a place that wasn't home, and surrounded by people who cared for her, but not necessarily about her. He knew there were a few exceptions to that rule, such as Vanroe, but it was no substitute for real friends.
"What if you could get out of the box altogether?"
She gave a soft smile and shook her head. "I'd be out of here like a Rashvin after a Cribtion, but it's not possible."
He reached out and took her hand gently in his, pulling her attention to him. She fluttered her eyes open and tilted her head to look at him head on, the same look that always made him feel as if she was looking into his very core.
"You could come and stay with me, Luna."
The surprise that flickered over her face was new to him. He couldn't remember ever seeing her out of her element. "You'd... you'd do that for me?"
Neville's hand squeezed hers gently as he worked through the sudden tightness in his throat. "Say the word and I'll get right on it... Like a Rashvin after a Cribtion."
The laughter that bubbled up from her throat was the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard. It caused her face to glow with a happiness he'd yet to see since he'd met her again a year and a half ago. He couldn't remember who initiated it now and frankly it didn't matter. All that mattered is that she was suddenly filling his arms, her body pressed against his with her arms wrapped around his neck. As she pressed her face into his neck, he held her tightly and gently all at once, torn between being gentle with her and never letting her go.
The smell of her hair filled his senses and the feel of her breath on his neck sent shivers down his spine. Her words were muffled, but they met his ears perfectly.
"If I could see my aura right now, I'm sure it be the prettiest shade of blue."
It wasn't yes in literal terms, but it was a resounding one in Luna's. All he could think was that it was a good thing they were already at St. Mungo's because he was sure his heart shouldn't be beating this fast.
The process of getting Luna out was a grueling one, but it had proven to be a lot easier than finding a flat on a teacher's salary. The actual tests and legalities had been easy, but long winded. It'd taken three months for the follow up evaluation which required weekly visits to a psychiatrist for the both of them, and then it was just a matter of tying up loose ends. Unfortunately, these ends couldn't be met until he had a suitable living environment.
Their friends tried to help, of course - Harry had even tried to give him a full down payment for an incredible flat - but he wasn't having any of it. If he couldn't do this much for Luna, how could he ever expect to be worthy of taking care of her? This was the simple part, after all, he had to prove to everyone, especially himself, that he could do this.
Admittedly, it might have been easier if he weren't so bleeding picky. There were tons of flats out there, especially if he went to Muggle London, but it had just never seemed right for Luna. Everywhere he looked, there were people living on top of each other, constant noise and no place for a backyard. Luna deserved a space of her own after not having any for three years.
It'd taken a month after Luna should have been free and clear before he found a place and was able to sign a contract. It wasn't much, but it had potential. It was a small, two bedroom cottage with a large backyard. There were neighbors on either side, but they were distanced a quarter of a mile apart from them. It was settled in some small wayward town, but there was a fireplace that the Floo Network could connect to, so it wouldn't be a problem to get anywhere they needed.
The minute he'd gotten word of the contract being settled, he'd flown like... well, like a Rashvin after a Cribtion to St. Mungo's to get the last of the details ironed out. And now here he stood, ready to take Luna away and pull her out of the box that held her captive. As his gaze flicked around the Visitor's Area, he knew that it would not be for the last time, but this would be the last time he'd be here for Luna and that... was a very good feeling.
Healer Vanroe put a gentle hand on his shoulder, smiling wide with tears brimming at the corners of her eyes. "Come along, Neville. I'll take you to her room."
He followed the woman down several unfamiliar corridors that took him to a room much like his parents. There were no actual rooms, only sheets separating the areas, but unlike the Janus Thickey Ward, this place was bursting with life. Odd little trinkets and pops of color decorated the whole room and he had no doubt who was the culprit for it all was.
She didn't notice him at first, but it was almost like she'd sensed he was there before she ever even tore her gaze from the window. Her eyes rose and connected with his in that way of hers before she paused as if in a moment of confusion. Her gaze quickly cleared as she seemed to realize that there was only one reason that he would be seeing her in her room. Her hand lifted to her mouth and she stood there for a long moment with eyes growing to the size of an owl's. Her gaze darted from him to Healer Vanroe who was standing behind him with happy tears flowing down her kindly face.
"Time to pack up, Luna. You're going home."
The healer's words bounced around in his head, the single word 'home' seeming to take on an echoing effect. It was really happening. He'd been considering it for nearly a year now and it was finally, really happening.
Luna pulled in a shuddered breath at those words but continued to stand there, staring at him as if needing some confirmation from him alone.
He smiled as best he could around the ache in his throat. "Let's go home."
In the end, there had been little to pack. Everything but a few clothes were packed up in a suitcase that Luna shrunk herself when Vanroe had personally handed her back her wand. If tears weren't already flowing down her face, he might have wondered what she was happiest about, getting to leave, or getting the second extension of herself back.
With her suitcase safely in her pocket and her wand clutched in one hand, she reached out and took Neville's hand in her own free one, lacing their fingers and giving him a radiant smile. "I'm ready."
~*~
When everything had settled down three weeks later, Luna said something that nearly made him choke on the water he'd been sipping. It was a hot day and they'd both been working out in the sun, getting the garden to what he liked to call, 'Luna Specifications'. She'd decided that she wanted a creature friendly garden, and by creatures, she meant her own.
The garden wasn't exactly harmonically sound, but it made her happy, and so he was glad to do it.
"When you look at me, your aura gets red around the edges."
He didn't think much of it, they'd never encountered a red aura before, at least not that she's discussed with him. She'd mentioned it once at a gathering they'd had with friends to welcome her home, but instead of enlightening him, she'd just smiled her little secret smile and clammed up about it.
"What's that mean?"
When she didn’t answer him right away, he looked up from the flowers he was checking over to lock his gaze with hers. According to Luna, they were supposed to be the favorite food source for Hollyloms. He honestly had no idea what they were and had never seen one, but just like every day, he was willing to try.
She tilted her head gently to the side, causing a piece of hair to sweep into her eyes. An itch to push those strands from her face made his hands twitch with temptation, but unfortunately the dirt on his hands kept him from fulfilling that urge. So instead, he decided to take a much needed sip of water to keep his hands busy. “It means,” she started slowly, her eyes flickering to the outer edges of his personage, as if making sure of something, “that when you’re ready to tell me, I’ll be ready to reciprocate.”
Author/Artist:
sempermeaPrompt: Blue (Pinch-hitting with my own prompt.)
Prompt submitted by: N/A
Pairing(s):Neville/Luna
Word Count/Art Medium: 6,739
Rating: (G to NC-17) PG-13
Warning(s): Schizophrenia
Disclaimer:Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: Beta'd by my lifesaver, DL. <3
Summary: With his parents living as permanent residents in the Janus Thickey Ward at St. Mungo's, Neville could safely say that nothing much ever changed. So when an old friend shows up in the Visitor's Lounge of Spell Damage, the expected quickly unravels into the unknown.
The world around him since graduating had been utterly normal. It hadn't been easy getting to this point, but now that he was here, everything seemed really... simple. He knew the rules and how to play the game and for the most part stuck to the beaten path.
That is, until she came back into his life and forged a whole new road through thickets of overgrown weeds and trees. She pulled the wool from his eyes and showed him that the world before had been an illusion, that not everything was black and white. It was a lesson his previous battles should have taught him, but they were heavily rooted in evil and good, where shades of grey were left to better men. Just as well, she skipped all color metaphors for life completely and instead brought him something even better. She brought him colors.
He couldn't understand why people gave her such a wide berth at times. Perhaps she talked of things that couldn't be proven one way or another, but he couldn't imagine not feeling her hand in his, watching her lips curve into that smile he loved so much, or seeing the look of wonderment dance in her eyes as she saw things that people either couldn’t or wouldn’t see.
Just as he couldn't understand people distancing themselves from her, they couldn't understand him needing to be closer. He was an educated man with a sound mind and a Professor to boot. He should see that this woman was clearly delusional and living in a world all her own. Never mind that she'd been instrumental to the downfall of Voldemort three times in the Battle of the Department of Mysteries, the Battle of the Astronomy Tower, and the final Battle of Hogwarts. They'd say she wasn't right in the head and that she never had been, not even in school. She was clever, but detached and that it seemed likely she'd never be able to separate reality from fantasy.
They'd insisted that Luna Lovegood was a clinically diagnosed Schizophrenic.
Neville walked into the Visitor's Area, a wave of nostalgia washing over him. This room hadn't changed in his 20 years of life.It was the same soft green color, with the same uncomfortable furniture. The wireless was always on and there were always two healers walking around and observing, making sure nothing went wrong. The only thing that seemed to change was himself.
There were pictures of him in this room long before his memory could recall. They were heartbreaking pictures, really, of him being held by a vacant woman, her eyes not even settling on the wiggling baby in her arms. Halfway through the picture, his Gran reached in and readjusted his mother's arms so that she would hold him correctly and still she did not notice.
That picture marked the beginning of weekly visits spent at St. Mungo's in this room. As he got older, he'd been permitted into the Janus Thickey Ward to see his parents, but until he'd turned eleven, he hadn't been allowed past the Visitor's Room. There were the common concerns of germs, noise, and a child becoming upset over what they were seeing, but the biggest reason was that a child was full of raw magic. That magic could easily disrupt the atmosphere and cause all the patients to become agitated. So until he'd been given his wand, he was stuck in the public eye of sympathetic onlookers.
He'd never paid attention to the other people in the Visitor's Lounge as he passed through. They never mattered, he'd only had one goal, one constant. That changed almost two years ago.
He'd graduated from Hogwarts the year before and was just now finishing his internship with Professor Sprout, who was due to retire at Summer's end. When school started back up, he'd return to it as Professor Longbottom.
Like always, he kept his eyes on the door that led to several different wards, always keeping his mind on the 49th where his parents stayed. It's funny how you get up one day and don't expect that this is the day that will change the rest of your life.
"Neville?"
The voice was soft, lazy as if someone spoke it from a dream and so very familiar. Startled, he turned to face the owner and found himself looking upon his old schoolmate, Luna Lovegood. She looked exactly as she had back then with her long blonde hair falling freely and her clear blue eyes hooded in a dreamy expression. A soft smile curved her lips and he felt himself smiling back. She was quirky as ever with her radish earrings still dangling from her ears and an old issue of Quibbler upside down in her lap.
"Luna, it's good to see you." Or perhaps it wasn't. As he'd learned long ago, having to be here never boded well.
She nodded her head and turned a page of the Quibbler without even looking at it. "Yes, it's good to see you as well." She tilted her head to the side, looking just to the right of him and hummed softly. "Your aura has changed."
He gave a blank blink at her words, but didn't find them to be all that odd. He'd been exposed to her special brand of charm often, even more so during their shared battles and days in Dumbledore's Army. "Has it? What was it before?"
"Purple," she said with a matter of fact nod.
He wasn't sure how he felt about a purple aura, but he laughed in turn. "I don't think purple is my color."
She smiled at his laughter and shook her head. "No, I prefer it now. Before it was dark, like you were sad or frustrated."
He quirked his brow, surprised by how strangely insightful that was. He wondered if she really saw his aura or if she'd just noticed what others guessed at. He hadn't been very good with school work and with his home life being broken as it was, it didn't make for the best of childhoods. Pepper in the stresses of the second Wizarding War and he wasn't exactly winning in lotteries in luck.
"I see, and what color is it now?"
The smile she gave him was gloriously bright and he found his stomach knotting in response.
"A beautiful light blue." He felt the irrational flush of color trying to stain his cheeks, it wasn't as if she'd called him beautiful, just a color surrounding him.
"And what does that mean?"
"Peace. It's an understanding color, tranquil."
"That makes sense, is that why Ravenclaw's banners are predominately blue?"
Her gaze snapped back to him, her blue eyes burning into his with intensity. He didn't have to question if he had her full attention, it was abundantly clear that he did, but it wasn't at all awkward. There was a softness to her eyes and a near constant smile that played across his lips. "I'd never thought of it before, but I suppose it could be."
That had been his first conversation with Luna since the ending of the War and it marked the first time that his eyes strayed around the Visiting Area looking for someone other than his parents.
Funnily, it had never crossed his mind that she was a patient there. That hadn't come out in the wash until their fourth conversation.
He'd walked in on his last day before the school semester started. Coming to see his parents had always put his mind at ease and his nerves could definitely use a bit of that. He wasn't overtly aware of it, but he also wanted to see Luna. His parents calmed him, but a part of him had always left feeling as if there was no hope, but Luna... Luna made him feel as if anything was possible.
His eyes traced a path that he was steadily becoming familiar with. His gaze swept toward the table nearest the window where he always seemed to find Luna, but she wasn't there. He could feel his smile falling a little as his stomach turned in disappointment. He'd thought it odd that she'd always happened to be there when he came to visit, but he'd been basing that on luck that didn't seem to be in his favor today.
"You're back."
That sweet voice washed over him and he sighed in what he realized to be relief. When he turned around, Luna was sitting as far from the window as possible. "You're here." He hadn't meant to say it, it was bit like stating the obvious, more than he realized at the time.
She laughed and gestured to the chair across from her. "Why wouldn't I be?"
He moved across the room and took the seat she'd indicated, shrugging his shoulders. "You usually sit near the window, I thought you weren't here today."
Her eyes flickered toward her old seat and she sighed. "It's unfortunate, isn't it?"
He tilted his head to the side, a small frown of confusion on his face. "What is?"
"The Wizbangs, they've made a nest just inside the window. They bite, you know. It's okay though, they'll stay by the window. They like it better over there."
Neville blinked several times, this was very reminiscent of a story she'd told once before about Nargles, but it was the first she'd mentioned any of her creatures that she used to speak of at school. She'd been quirky by any normal measure since seeing her here again, but never so far as this. He took it in stride though as he looked at the window, naturally not seeing what she was referring to.
"It's okay if you don't see them," she whispered after a long moment of him staring at the window, her voice was almost sad. "They don't reveal themselves to everyone."
His gaze played ping pong for several strokes as he looked at the window where there was very clearly nothing and to the expression on her face that spoke of disappointment, not in him, but in his inability to see what she saw. He wished desperately that he could, not at all wanting that look to be directed at him. "I can't see them..." He watched as Luna pulled in a sigh and turned her gaze to the window, watching it in a quizzical fashion, like someone trying to work out a puzzle, "but maybe they'll show themselves to me next week."
He watched as Luna's whole body froze for several heartbeats, her eyes slowly moving back to his own. She was looking at him as if he were the puzzle now, but there was something more to it. Where she had looked dejected at the window, she looked at him with hope. "Yes," she spoke carefully, "perhaps you'll see them then."
A kindly looking Healer stepped toward the table them, looking apologetic. "I'm sorry, but visiting hours are over now."
Neville nodded and rose from his chair, he hadn't realized how much time had passed, but he didn't worry about it. His parent's ward was open to him at any time, so there was no lost time with them.
"Neville... Will you come and see me again?"
He was confused by this request, he would come back to visit his parents and if he ran into her along the way, then that was an added bonus, but why did they have to meet here?
The woman stood by after placing a comforting hand on Luna's shoulder as if waiting with her for his answer. A sickening twist formed in his gut as a feeling of despair filled his chest. Luna had been here every day since the first time they spoke and she had never met with anyone but him. He'd never thought to ask who she was visiting, taking it for granted that she was here for someone she knew in Spell Damage. He should have realized these weren't kismet meetings, but he'd always been so used to the patients here being on the inside, not the Visitor Station.
Luna reached across the table, her soft, warm fingers taking his hand in her own. "Don't." Her words confused him, don't what? Don't come visit her? "You don't look good in purple, remember?"
His heart clenched tightly and he was sure he'd forget how to breath at any moment. She was talking about his aura again, had it gone purple in her eyes? Was that what he was feeling? Sadness? Sadness for his friend who was a patient at St. Mungo's, or perhaps he was feeling guilt because he'd never even realized she was here. He couldn't fathom why she had been admitted to Spell Damage, he knew that there were other patients here with maladies and ailments brought on by reasons other than magic, but he'd never seen them. Was that where she was placed? Was she here because she saw the world differently?
"I'll," his voice failed and he cleared his throat, squeezing her hand as he fought for control over his voice, "I'll come visit you next weekend."
Relief flashed across the healer's face, but it was nothing compared to the brilliance of Luna's. She lit up like fairy lights and he had to wonder for a moment if he wasn't seeing her own aura glowing happily around her.
She stood, gave him a little wave and allowed the nurse to lead her out of the Visitor's Room and through the door that led to other wards where patients stayed.
He'd come to visit her without fail every weekend after that. He'd spend his visiting hours with her and then go see his parents for a bit before returning to Hogwarts where papers upon papers waited for him. Sometimes he'd bring his work with him so that he wouldn't get behind and Luna would graciously offer to help him grade the essays. After the second week of her help, he stopped feeling the need to recheck her grading on the work she looked over. She may have been in a mental ward, but it hadn't affected her wit.
There were times, of course, where she'd stop and tell him about why a particular student was wrong, like how one of his Ravenclaws was sorely misguided about the uses for Ginger. She went on and on about how Ginger was the main food source for Clopping Callies whom of which were nothing more than silly creatures who danced around and around until they got sick, especially whilst eating. This resulted in the contamination of most Ginger which was usually in spray range of their bile. He learned that when this happened, Ginger was more suitable as an ingredient in Befuddlement potions rather than Wit-Sharpening ones. Thankfully, she only shared this with Neville and not the student in question, amending that by all book standards she was correct, but impressing upon the importance of Neville updating his book sources.
On Holidays, he'd bring her little gifts and was always surprised when she had presents for him as well. They were simple things that she'd made, but he found each one of them had care and thought put into it. Such as the updated list of herbs that she swore he should make his students aware of. Most of the ingredients he'd never heard of and all of them were in affiliation with creatures he'd never seen. It wasn't practical in his standing, but he loved them no less and kept each one. Most he kept in his room, but there were a few, like her list of herbs, that he kept in his classroom. He'd never shared them with the class, but it was comforting to have something that personal of her with him.
Some people don't know when they fall in love with someone and that was true for him as well, but he could remember the moment when it became abundantly that he was already in love with her. There was definitely no going back from that moment and he couldn't think of one reason why he would want to.
When he walked into the room, she was waiting for him, that much wasn't unusual. What was, however, was that she was standing near the door, waiting to ambush him once he appeared. Her smile was sunny and her eyes lit up in excitement that he found infectious. She had her long hair pulled back in a ponytail, a few strands falling into her eyes. "I've got a surprise for you," she sing-songed.
There was a healer waiting behind her, the same woman who'd told her what seemed like forever ago that visiting hours were over. She reached behind the desk near the door and pulled out a floppy hat that she proceeded to place upon her head. To say that it looked severely out of place in the room would have been an understatement
"What's that?"
She shook her head far too enthusiastically and grabbed his hand, tugging him toward the door that led out into the rest of the hospice. As far as he knew, patients weren't allowed out of their wards and his eyes flickered to her Healer, Healer Vanroe, who just smiled and gestured along after Luna.
Feeling incredibly in the dark, he followed her out of the room, Healer Vanroe trailing along behind them. They moved to the elevator and took it all the way down to ground level, but instead of heading toward the doors that lead out into the world, Luna guided him out towards the back where a small courtyard was set up. He supposed that this wasn't so unnatural after all. He'd never seen his parents outside their ward, but that didn't mean that other patients didn't get to roam around and get fresh air. In fact, it struck him as odd in the year that he'd been visiting Luna that this was the first time that they'd ever left that stuffy room.
She skipped the courtyard all together and instead pulled him to the side of the building were small areas were cordoned off with small decorative fences. There was nothing inside except for slightly tilled Earth. Again he looked toward Luna confused, but she just laughed at him, finding enjoyment in his confusion. He marveled at the notion that he'd gladly stay confused the rest of his life if only it would amuse her.
Curiosity got the better of him though and the Healer was offering no help as she ambled off to sit at one of the tables in the courtyard, a book in hand that she clearly intended to read.
"I know you teach Herbology all week, but I thought it might be nice if patients here could enjoy your craft as well." Saving him from having to look further confused she pulled at his hand gently and brought him along to the side of the building. Around the corner sat several bags of soil, some gardening tools and dozens of flowers and herb plants.
"Do you mind helping me?"
She looked up at him with hopeful eyes and even if he'd wanted to say no, there would have been no way that his mouth would actually be able to say the word. He'd never know why Luna had been trusted to do this spot of gardening --perhaps because he'd be there to help her-- nor would he figure out how the supplies had even gotten there. He tried to ask her, but instead of giving answers, she just smiled a secret sort of smile and shook her head.
They spent the rest of the day working in the little plots provided and Luna proved to be a solid assistant. She knew what she was doing and offered a constant string of conversation. In truth, it was interesting to plant things that didn't fight back with him. They only planted decorative and aromatic plants, providing patients with things to stimulate the senses, instead of their minds.
When they were done, Neville sat back and looked over their work with a sigh. It definitely perked up the place and it would only take a few simple spells to keep the flowers in bloom and healthy. Anyone could do it in their spare time. Hell, he'd do it over his visits if need be. Anything to see the sheer joy and accomplishment on Luna's face.
"There's one more thing I wanted to do..."
He tilted his head thoughtfully, wondering what more she would want to give, but he smiled and answered with the only word that came to mind. "Anything."
She smiled and glanced back at Healer Vanroe, a silent conversation moving between them. With a few swish and flicks, the previously empty table had an empty pot and a Blue Delphinium plant perched on top. Luna seemed a little nervous, but she forged on ahead. "I think your mother might enjoy this flower in her room." Calling his mother's space a room was being courteous since it was nothing more than a sheet separating her from the rest, but he couldn't even begin to split hairs like that as her suggestion rolled around in his head.
The emotion that took hold in him was surprising. All he could do was stare into those beautiful, hopeful eyes and try to remember how to breath. Luna wanted to do something for his mother, give her something. He couldn't remember the last time someone had done a kindness for his mother that wasn't part of hospice routine.
"...Delphinium is the flower for my birth month." It wasn't the most intelligent thing he could say, but spouting random facts was about as much brain activity as he could manage.
Her face softened before she turned her gaze toward the plant, nodding a little. "It is. I think she'd like it. I think it suits you." He shook his head, not understanding, but he didn't have to ask questions. "The colors, they aren't perfect matches, but they're reminiscent of your aura. Of where you've been and who you are."
It crossed his mind that parts of the plant were toxic, but that was only his mind running on pure useless factoids. His mother had always been detached, not crazy, so the fear that she'd end up eating it wasn't a relevant one. He couldn't say the same for her ward-mates, but Healer Vanroe didn't seem to be worried by it, so he wouldn't worry either.
"Luna... I... I don't know what to say." What could you say? This girl had just offered his mother a gift, a token that she believed would remind her of her son. No one had ever been so kind to his mother and in doing so, no one had ever been so kind to him. It was a priceless gift and he could think of no better one apart from his parents getting better.
Emotion swelled in his chest, tightening his throat and prickling at his eyes. As he looked upon her, hair glowing in a halo of sunlight, eyes bright with hope, it hit him like a ton of bricks that he could never go back to his former life. His weekends and holidays were always spent here, but there was more reason than just his parents to come here. The woman he loved was here as well.
Her eyes flickered just off to the side of him as they sometimes did when she was reading his aura. Whatever she saw there made her eyes flick away quickly as she mumbled in a near embarrassed tone, "Don't say anything, just help me plant it."
That plant sat at his mother's bedside table, the stem of blossoms constantly in bloom. The blue, purple edged petals brought a lightness into the room and made things seem more alive. Most days his mother didn't even acknowledge that it was there, but there were times where he'd come in and she was looking at them, touching and smelling the petals with a small smile on her face. He wasn't sure if she even knew what they were or what she was doing. He couldn't even be sure that she saw them at all. She never spoke about them or looked like she knew they were there beyond the few times he caught her smiling around them.
It didn't matter what she did or didn't see. That smile... every time he saw that small smile, a tear ripped into his heart. Smiles, half-hearted as they were, were rarities that he was blessed with only a few times a year, perhaps fewer. And in 6 months he'd seen it half a dozen times. It was like witnessing a miracle every time and it was all thanks to Luna.
He didn't think that he'd ever be able to make it up to her, but he had a few ideas...
Neville stepped into the stark room, feeling a little off balance in the surrounding white of the walls. He was so used to the soft green of the visiting room these days and it was a little unsettling to sit here, especially with it being empty.
The desk made of rich, dark wood in front of him lent the only splash of color to the room and it was piled high with papers stacked across the surface. At the front of it sat a name plate bore the name "Healer Vanroe." He looked around the office, noting several cabinets and certificates against the wall. He noted her Hogwarts diploma and only had a moment to wonder which House she belonged to when the door opened and the woman stepped in.
"Mr. Longbottom, I'm surprised to see you here instead of in the Visitor's Area."
"Neville, please." She nodded and he didn't bother agreeing that it was definitely strange to be here instead of with Luna or his parents.
"Of course. What is it you wanted to see me about today, Neville?"
The answer rolled around in his head, it was something he'd been thinking about for months now, but given the opportunity to say it allowed, he paused. His hands began fidgeting with one another and he decided that it might be best to answer with his own question.
"I wanted to inquire about Luna. I'm not meaning to ask for information you can't give, but why is she here? She seems... stable to me."
Healer Vanroe smiled gently at him, her eyes sparkling with something he didn't like, something that looked like knowledge.
"By all accounts, Luna is stable. Unfortunately, Mr. Long-Neville, this is more a case of policy." Neville shook his head, not understanding. What policy would keep a perfectly healthy person in a ward at St. Mungo's? "Cases like Luna's are most often overlooked, she's stable, healthy and a danger to no one. However, there were certain evaluations needed for all who took part in the second Wizarding World and it was through that that she was diagnosed. Follow up interviews indicated that it was a lasting condition predating the war and St. Mungo's feels that it's best as a precautionary measure to keep her under surveillance."
"Why would she need surveillance if she's fine?"
Vanroe's kind smile turned sad. "Traumas like the war can have effects on the psyche long after the event. With a pre-existing condition of Schizophrenia, she may be more susceptible to these kinds of psychological damages. We cannot release her without routine medication. Naturally, Luna doesn't feel as if she needs medication and after his time in Azkaban during the war, her father wasn't fit to retain guardianship as would be required for Luna to leave with no medication. There, unfortunately, is also no family on file that we could transfer guardianship to."
Neville leaned back in his chair and stared down at the Healer's nameplate, mulling this information over. "So... what if Luna had someone volunteer to take over a guardian role?"
"If she were to acquire a guardian, there would have to be evaluations done on both parties."
"How long would that take?"
The healer turned thoughtful and sighed, "The paperwork is long and she'd have to be evaluated over a period of time to make sure there are no changes in behavior prior to her initial diagnosis. The process could take anywhere from one to three months, depending on Luna's results."
Neville began to fidget again as he chewed on his next question. There was no logical reason not to come right out with it, only that he feared rejection.
"Who is eligible to sign for her?" He didn't like the mousy way he posed the question, but Vanroe didn't appear as if she noticed.
"Someone with a stable environment, job, and home. Someone that has taken an interest in her and more importantly, someone she agrees to." She didn't stop for the tiny flicker of dread to fill his heart. "Let's not beat around the bush, Neville. You're the Herbology Professor at Hogwarts, yes?" It was a rhetorical question as she didn't wait for his answer before asking her next question. "Do you live on campus?"
He nodded mutely and felt that flicker grow into a constant heart beat at the look of regret on her face. "You seem like a worthy candidate. I've seen the way you watch her and how easily you interact with her even while she's talking of things that no one else can see. However, Hogwarts is not a suitable home for her. There is no privacy and considering the War, I doubt many on the Medical Board would agree that it's fitting. Talk it over with Luna and if she agrees, I suggest that you find a private residence. Once you do that, I'll put in the request and we'll get the ball rolling."
Neville remembered feeling a whirlwind of emotion that day, but he couldn't define a certain one. Mostly he'd felt sick. What if Luna didn't want to leave St. Mungo's and live with him? What if he couldn't find a place? What if he wasn't good enough and couldn't meet up to the Medical Board's standards?
Needless to say, he didn't find the guts to even approach the question until some weeks later.
Luna sat besides the flowers that they'd planted nearly seven months ago, pulling budding weeds up from the ground so that the flowers wouldn't get choked. He'd told her several times that they could just use magic for it and it would work just as well, but she'd shook her head adamantly and went about her work.
"Magic may do just as well, but I'd rather do it myself. It just feels more rewarding."
He couldn't find fault with that logic, so he'd bent down beside her and they both worked silently, getting through half the flowers before she finally broke the silence.
"This is nice." He hadn't noticed that she'd stopped, allowing her dirty hands to settle carelessly in her lap and getting her pants dirty for it. Her head was tipped back toward the sun, eyes closed, and a delicate breeze blew through, tousling her hair.
"What is?"
"This. Being outside of the box for once."
He glanced to the box in question, looking toward the doors of St. Mungo's. That was a fairly accurate description. She didn't have many restrictions, but she didn't have freedom either. She was restrained by a schedule that was not her own, in a place that wasn't home, and surrounded by people who cared for her, but not necessarily about her. He knew there were a few exceptions to that rule, such as Vanroe, but it was no substitute for real friends.
"What if you could get out of the box altogether?"
She gave a soft smile and shook her head. "I'd be out of here like a Rashvin after a Cribtion, but it's not possible."
He reached out and took her hand gently in his, pulling her attention to him. She fluttered her eyes open and tilted her head to look at him head on, the same look that always made him feel as if she was looking into his very core.
"You could come and stay with me, Luna."
The surprise that flickered over her face was new to him. He couldn't remember ever seeing her out of her element. "You'd... you'd do that for me?"
Neville's hand squeezed hers gently as he worked through the sudden tightness in his throat. "Say the word and I'll get right on it... Like a Rashvin after a Cribtion."
The laughter that bubbled up from her throat was the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard. It caused her face to glow with a happiness he'd yet to see since he'd met her again a year and a half ago. He couldn't remember who initiated it now and frankly it didn't matter. All that mattered is that she was suddenly filling his arms, her body pressed against his with her arms wrapped around his neck. As she pressed her face into his neck, he held her tightly and gently all at once, torn between being gentle with her and never letting her go.
The smell of her hair filled his senses and the feel of her breath on his neck sent shivers down his spine. Her words were muffled, but they met his ears perfectly.
"If I could see my aura right now, I'm sure it be the prettiest shade of blue."
It wasn't yes in literal terms, but it was a resounding one in Luna's. All he could think was that it was a good thing they were already at St. Mungo's because he was sure his heart shouldn't be beating this fast.
The process of getting Luna out was a grueling one, but it had proven to be a lot easier than finding a flat on a teacher's salary. The actual tests and legalities had been easy, but long winded. It'd taken three months for the follow up evaluation which required weekly visits to a psychiatrist for the both of them, and then it was just a matter of tying up loose ends. Unfortunately, these ends couldn't be met until he had a suitable living environment.
Their friends tried to help, of course - Harry had even tried to give him a full down payment for an incredible flat - but he wasn't having any of it. If he couldn't do this much for Luna, how could he ever expect to be worthy of taking care of her? This was the simple part, after all, he had to prove to everyone, especially himself, that he could do this.
Admittedly, it might have been easier if he weren't so bleeding picky. There were tons of flats out there, especially if he went to Muggle London, but it had just never seemed right for Luna. Everywhere he looked, there were people living on top of each other, constant noise and no place for a backyard. Luna deserved a space of her own after not having any for three years.
It'd taken a month after Luna should have been free and clear before he found a place and was able to sign a contract. It wasn't much, but it had potential. It was a small, two bedroom cottage with a large backyard. There were neighbors on either side, but they were distanced a quarter of a mile apart from them. It was settled in some small wayward town, but there was a fireplace that the Floo Network could connect to, so it wouldn't be a problem to get anywhere they needed.
The minute he'd gotten word of the contract being settled, he'd flown like... well, like a Rashvin after a Cribtion to St. Mungo's to get the last of the details ironed out. And now here he stood, ready to take Luna away and pull her out of the box that held her captive. As his gaze flicked around the Visitor's Area, he knew that it would not be for the last time, but this would be the last time he'd be here for Luna and that... was a very good feeling.
Healer Vanroe put a gentle hand on his shoulder, smiling wide with tears brimming at the corners of her eyes. "Come along, Neville. I'll take you to her room."
He followed the woman down several unfamiliar corridors that took him to a room much like his parents. There were no actual rooms, only sheets separating the areas, but unlike the Janus Thickey Ward, this place was bursting with life. Odd little trinkets and pops of color decorated the whole room and he had no doubt who was the culprit for it all was.
She didn't notice him at first, but it was almost like she'd sensed he was there before she ever even tore her gaze from the window. Her eyes rose and connected with his in that way of hers before she paused as if in a moment of confusion. Her gaze quickly cleared as she seemed to realize that there was only one reason that he would be seeing her in her room. Her hand lifted to her mouth and she stood there for a long moment with eyes growing to the size of an owl's. Her gaze darted from him to Healer Vanroe who was standing behind him with happy tears flowing down her kindly face.
"Time to pack up, Luna. You're going home."
The healer's words bounced around in his head, the single word 'home' seeming to take on an echoing effect. It was really happening. He'd been considering it for nearly a year now and it was finally, really happening.
Luna pulled in a shuddered breath at those words but continued to stand there, staring at him as if needing some confirmation from him alone.
He smiled as best he could around the ache in his throat. "Let's go home."
In the end, there had been little to pack. Everything but a few clothes were packed up in a suitcase that Luna shrunk herself when Vanroe had personally handed her back her wand. If tears weren't already flowing down her face, he might have wondered what she was happiest about, getting to leave, or getting the second extension of herself back.
With her suitcase safely in her pocket and her wand clutched in one hand, she reached out and took Neville's hand in her own free one, lacing their fingers and giving him a radiant smile. "I'm ready."
~*~
When everything had settled down three weeks later, Luna said something that nearly made him choke on the water he'd been sipping. It was a hot day and they'd both been working out in the sun, getting the garden to what he liked to call, 'Luna Specifications'. She'd decided that she wanted a creature friendly garden, and by creatures, she meant her own.
The garden wasn't exactly harmonically sound, but it made her happy, and so he was glad to do it.
"When you look at me, your aura gets red around the edges."
He didn't think much of it, they'd never encountered a red aura before, at least not that she's discussed with him. She'd mentioned it once at a gathering they'd had with friends to welcome her home, but instead of enlightening him, she'd just smiled her little secret smile and clammed up about it.
"What's that mean?"
When she didn’t answer him right away, he looked up from the flowers he was checking over to lock his gaze with hers. According to Luna, they were supposed to be the favorite food source for Hollyloms. He honestly had no idea what they were and had never seen one, but just like every day, he was willing to try.
She tilted her head gently to the side, causing a piece of hair to sweep into her eyes. An itch to push those strands from her face made his hands twitch with temptation, but unfortunately the dirt on his hands kept him from fulfilling that urge. So instead, he decided to take a much needed sip of water to keep his hands busy. “It means,” she started slowly, her eyes flickering to the outer edges of his personage, as if making sure of something, “that when you’re ready to tell me, I’ll be ready to reciprocate.”
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no subject
Date: 2012-06-30 12:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-06-30 01:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-01 07:29 am (UTC)The part where she got her wand back and got to go 'home' made me tear up with all manner of happy blubbering. X3 And then ending line! *laughs* I can see why Nev almost choked on his water, but aww. So much love!
I'm definitely fave-ing this so that I can save it later once reveals are up! That way I can read it again and again and again! :D
no subject
Date: 2012-07-01 06:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-16 01:40 pm (UTC)