Fic: Changes (Regulus/Remus)
Jun. 27th, 2012 07:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hpraremod posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
hp_rarefestTitle: Changes
Author/Artist:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
blossomdreams
Prompt: #30: With nowhere else to go, they managed to find each other. What they have isn't love, but it's enough for now.
Pairing(s): Regulus/Remus
Word Count/Art Medium: 10,988
Rating: NC-17
Warning(s): biting, reference to unpleasant things, scratching, werewolf things such as sniffing and mentions of marking, and angst. It may look dubcon in places, but I assure you it’s consensual.
Disclaimer:Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: First I want to thank the mods for being so very patient with me. Thank you so much. Next I want to thank my beta C for help and letting me complain and talk things out when I was confused. I would like to thank Q as well for the same help and to the usual people who hear me complain about my muses. Once I saw this prompt I knew I had to write it although I didn’t expect it to be so out of control. >< I hope you enjoy it because I enjoyed writing it. Enjoy!
Summary: Remus and Regulus are both lost until they find each other at The Leaky one day. Can they help each other find a purpose to continue with their lives after having so much taken away from them?
It was another morning. A morning filled with the same nightmares from a few hours ago, the same feeling of emptiness at the memory of friends long gone and the wonder of waking up to face it. Remus rubbed his tired eyes as he sat up in bed.
At least I was able to get three hours of sleep last night. Remus ran a hand through his shaggy hair, stifling a yawn.
It was a few years since the fall of Voldemort. The Wizarding World fell back into peace as everyone tried to return to their old lives or begin new ones. Remus received an award for his work in the Order and the war, along with a pension that helped him keep his home. However, these awards were a hollow victory for Remus. Sirius, James, and Lily, his family, was gone. He was the only Marauder left, since Peter was dead to Remus.
He didn’t know where Dumbledore had placed James and Lily’s child. Remus would offer to take care of the boy, but he knew it would take the Ministry years just for him to pass the first evaluation. Besides, he didn’t think he was stable enough to take care of himself, let alone an infant.
Remus stretched his arms over his head, listening to the symphony of his popping joints. Between the war and the wolf, Remus felt like he was centuries old, not a man in his twenties. He rubbed his arms and the back of his neck. His joints still sore from his transformation a few weeks ago.
I really miss those massages. Remus smiled lightly at the memory of the massages Sirius insisted on giving every time he tried to hide his sore joints. He stopped before his mind traveled further. He couldn’t crumble in the middle of his bed, not when he had work to do. Remus got out of bed and walked over to the shower. He went over his checklist for the day.
First, he had to answer the mail. He had to decline Dumbledore’s invitation to stay in the castle. He couldn’t stay there. There were too many memories. Next, he had to check an article about the spell properties in Transfiguration. All those years of studying paid off. After, he had to put his war pension in his vault then take out some money for the month. Then it was dinner, a bath, and finish the chapter in his book before he fell asleep.
Remus walked in the shower and turned on the hot water. He sighed in relief as the stream soothed his aching bones. It was a new day, and another day he was alive. However, Remus didn’t feel very alive.
*~*~*
Regulus stared at the wall as the sun peaked in through the curtains. He’d tried going to sleep last night, but he couldn’t. The dream of his darling cousin Bellatrix and her husband finding him felt too real. He couldn’t believe he survived after betraying the Dark Lord. He thought Bellatrix and the other Death Eaters would find him at any minute.
Regulus gripped his arm. He could still feel the sting of the Dark Mark on his skin.
I should have listened to Sirius. I thought Mother and Father wouldn’t let anything happen, but I was wrong. I should have listened. Why didn’t I trust him? Regulus burrowed deeper in the bed.
When the war ended, Regulus had had no options. He’d survived, but he couldn’t go home. Kreacher would welcome him, but he knew his mother wouldn’t be happy to see him. He’d disgraced the House of Black. His name was gone from the tapestry like Sirius. Regulus gripped his chest at the thought of his brother.
Regulus had read the paper the day he died. It wasn’t fair. There was something wrong that he survived while Sirius didn’t. At least he took out three Death Eaters with him. Regulus wished Bellatrix had been one of those Death Eaters, but one could only dream.
Regulus worked a few tangles out of his hair with his fingers as he turned to the ceiling. He’d stumbled into the Leaky one day after he returned to Diagon Alley. He knew somewhere his Mother was howling about that. Regulus was thankful that the owner let him stay, but that was two weeks ago. He had to pay for the room and board soon, but had ran into a few problems.
He didn’t have much of the money he’d smuggled out left. He could go and access his vault, but was unsure if the ownership had changed. Regulus could try to access it, but it would travel among the family. Someone would pop by for a family visit that Regulus wasn’t looking forward to. Regulus didn’t have many skills, except in Potions, but he didn’t know who would take him.
Regulus sighed. He blew a lock of hair away from his face. Staying in bed wasn’t productive. The least he could do was take a shower and get something to eat. Regulus took a breath and sat up, the effort harder than he’d originally thought. He crawled out of bed and over to the bathroom. The shower relaxed him, but he didn’t feel very clean.
*~*~*
Remus thrummed his fingers against the table. He finished most of the items on his to-do list. The letter made it’s way to Dumbledore. The request would return, but he pushed it away for now. After the letter, he worked on the article. He sent it away with minimal mistakes. It didn’t distract him for long. The last item on his list was the vaults.
Remus stood up, biting his lip against the pain in his leg. He gritted his teeth and limped over to his jacket. He sighed in relief when the pain subsided.
Maybe I can grab a drink while I’m down there. Remus adjusted his jacket on his way out the door. A light breeze traveled through the quiet streets of Rowena’s Cove. Many people were still celebrating the end of the war and didn’t come home until later on at night. He preferred it that way. It made it easier for him to slip away during the full moon. The breeze moved his bangs as he walked to the bus stop to take him to the Alley.
Remus kept a hand on his wand on his way to Gringotts. To some people he would always be a werewolf, regardless of his war honour. He made it to Gringotts with only a few stares. He didn’t enjoy his new popularity, but he’d grown used to it. Remus placed his pension in the vault and drew out enough money for the month. It didn’t feel good to watch his balance shrink each month, but without James, he was barely making it.
Remus swallowed at the thought of his friend and his big heart. He pushed it away before he focused on James’ absence. He finished his business in Gringotts and wandered around the alley for a while. He looked into store windows, noting the sales. It was a welcomed change to the boards that had decorated the windows a few months before.
Remus pulled away from the window of the Quidditch shop and continued to wander around. He didn’t want to go back to the silence that welcomed him at his flat. There had to be something else to do while he was out. There was Flourish and Blotts or The Leaky Cauldron. Remus looked up and saw The Leaky ahead of him.
A drink before I go home wouldn’t hurt. Remus nodded as he walked over.
*~*~*
Regulus stared at the sandwich as if it held the answers to all his problems. Tom reminded him the rent of his room was due soon. Regulus felt lucky that Tom gave him a few extra days. Tom assured him he understood how hard it was to put expenses in order after the war. However, those days would arrive soon and Regulus didn’t have a plan.
He sighed and reached for his sandwich. Not eating wouldn’t help his problems. Regulus racked his min about his available options. He could use a glamour and find a job. He was sure someone could use a brewer and the bookstore looked promising. There was Madam Malkin’s, he had some skills with sewing after Greyback tore holes in his clothes as a joke.
Regulus pushed that memory back as he reached for his drink. He relaxed at the few choices available. He only hoped they would accept him. He looked down at his plate again and tried to gather the energy to eat.
*~*~*
Remus walked in and gazed around the pub for an available seat. He stopped at the sight of dark hair and gray eyes in the one of the booths on the side. His palms started to sweat as his heart raced at the prospect of Sirius alive.
Maybe he hid? Maybe he’s been Padfoot all this time and I didn’t know it. Remus swallowed and made his way over. He opened his mouth to call Sirius’ name when the person turned to him. Remus slowed down and studied the face. The man looked younger than Sirius, but he could see the resemblance.
“Um, excuse me? C-Can I help you?”
Remus blinked out of his reverie and offered a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry. You look like someone and I thought…well, never mind. Hope I didn’t bother you.” He nodded and turned to walk away when the man spoke up again.
“I remember you. You used to go to Hogwarts.”
Remus frowned as he turned around. “I did. Have we met before?”
“No, but I heard a lot about you. You used to hang around my brother.”
“I did.” Remus swallowed at the way his stomach twisted.
“Did he ever mention me? My name is Regulus.”
The name didn’t sound unfamiliar. Remus remembered Sirius mentioned a younger brother that decided to go along with their parents to the Dark Lord.
I remember him now. Sirius was so upset he refused to talk about it that year. Remus studied the face again and nodded when realization hit him. That’s him.
“Does it sound familiar?”
Remus left his thoughts at the sad tone. His heart clenched at the sadness Regulus tried to hide behind indifferent eyes.
“He did.” Remus nodded. “He mentioned you a lot. He wanted to send things to you like for your birthday and other holidays, but mentioned your parents wouldn’t allow it.”
“No, they wouldn’t.” Regulus shook his head as a light smile tugged his lips. “Oh, excuse my manners, would you like to sit here? I’m not waiting for anyone. I just wanted some space to eat, that’s all.”
“Thank you, that would be nice. My name is Remus, by the way.” He held out his hand as Regulus shook it.
“Nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you, too. Would you excuse me? I’m going to get a pint, would you like something?”
“No, thank you.”
“Okay,” Remus flashed another smile on his way to the bar. He didn’t imagine he would run into Regulus. He’d heard nothing more about Sirius’ family after the war, besides the news that Bellatrix and her husband were in Azkaban and Narcissa’s wedding announcement. It amazed Remus how different Sirius was from his upbringing. He wondered if Regulus held on to the same beliefs. Remus noticed Regulus didn’t sit with that arrogance most purebloods displayed. It could change once they started talking, but it didn’t look that way. Remus left his thoughts when the pint arrived.
Well, guess I’ll see how he is. It wouldn’t hurt. Remus took his pint and walked back over.
Regulus stared at his food again. The same side of sandwich sat untouched as Remus took his seat.
“Regulus?”
Regulus jumped slightly and turned his gaze to Remus. “Oh, sorry, I was just thinking that’s all.”
“It’s fine.”
Regulus offered a polite smile as he took a sip of his drink. He placed the glass down and folded his hands in his lap.
He’s very polite, unlike Sirius at all. Remus stopped before he started to reminisce.
“How are you? Rather, how have you been?” Regulus asked.
“Some days are good, some are not so good, but I take each day one step at a time. There’s no need for me to rush anymore, so I’m trying to relax and enjoy as much as I can.” While not drinking myself into a stupor. Remus sipped his pint. “How are you?”
“I suppose the same is with me. I try to take each day slowly and get as much as I can out of it. I haven’t done much, but I’m looking for something to do.”
“Do you have anything in mind?”
Regulus shrugged. “A few things, but I don’t know which one to choose.”
“What is something you’re really interested in?”
“Brewing,”
“Really?”
“Yeah it was one of my favorite subjects in school and I enjoyed doing it when I was on break. I don’t know if anyone would hire me on, though.”
“Have you tried?”
“Not yet, but I’m thinking of doing other work before I try to brew something again. It’s been awhile since I read a Potions book or did anything like that. That’s something I can think about another day. Do you have a job or any work?”
Remus bit back the bitter laugh bubbling in his throat. He pushed it down and nodded. “I don’t have a steady one, but I do work any small job that is available and not too dangerous.”
“Sounds good. At least it’s something, yeah?”
“Yeah it is.”
Regulus nodded and poked his food again.
“Not hungry?”
“Oh, well, I don’t want to throw it away, but when I try to finish I can’t.”
“If you’re feeling unwell I can make sure you get home.”
“I’m staying here.”
“Okay, well, if you need help going to your room let me know.”
“You’ll help me?”
“Yes. I wouldn’t want you to pass out or anything if you’re ill. Besides, I don’t think Sirius would appreciate if I let that happen.”
Regulus laughed softly. “Yeah, he wouldn’t.”
Remus shook his head with a wistful smile. “Yeah.”
They fell silent as Sirius entered their thoughts. Remus sipped his pint trying to ignore the way his stomach twisted and his heart clenched at the memories. Regulus bit his lip at the all the chances he tried to get close to Sirius while they were in school. He had heard about Sirius’s friends and how they’d protected him. He thought they would stop him from getting closer to Sirius, once they found out he was his brother.
Maybe Remus would have let me see Sirius if I’d asked. He doesn’t seem so bad. Regulus reached for his cup and wrapped his fingers around it.
“So, are there other things you’re doing? I remembered in school that you were good assisting people in different subjects. Are you doing anything with that? You could become a teacher. I’m sure they’ll let you.”
Remus’ grip tightened around his cup. As if people would feel comfortable having a werewolf teach their children. “I’ve been offered, but I don’t want to do that right now.”
“It’s fine. I only wondered,” Regulus quickly mumbled.
“I’m sorry. I’ve been asked many times and I don’t want to go back to Hogwarts right now. Please, excuse my tone.” Remus flashed a reassuring smile.
Regulus relaxed and nodded. “As I said, it’s fine. I just asked because I remember the rumours about your grades.”
“I didn’t know my grades came up in conversation. I figured other, more interesting things would travel around the school.”
“They did.”
“What were a few that you can remember?”
“Well…” Regulus started to talk about different pranks and rumours that used to pass around the school. The stories were bittersweet to Remus. He remembered the planning to all of the pranks and the resulting detentions from it. They shifted from the stories to Hogwarts to topics in the Prophet to the sales going on in the shops. Remus didn’t notice the time until he looked at the clock by the bar.
“Oh, it’s getting late. I meant to pick up a book before I go home.” Remus finished the recent pint in front of him.
“Okay. It was nice talking to you and learning more things about Hogwarts. I didn’t know that existed.” Regulus chuckled softly.
“Yes, we were quite adventurous.” Remus chuckled. He noticed the cups around Regulus and the absence of food. He turned a worried gaze to Regulus. “Are you going to be okay?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” Regulus nodded and avoided his eyes.
“Regulus, are you okay? If you need help, I can provide it.”
Regulus swallowed and clenched his fists. “Can we talk somewhere private?”
“Would you like to go to your room or somewhere else?” Remus asked.
“Can we go to a quiet part of the pub?”
“Sure,” Remus stood up and followed behind Regulus. They settled into one of the corner booths away from most of the patrons of the bar.
Regulus took a deep breath and rested his hands in his lap. “I’m staying here, but I don’t know for how long. I don’t have any money to keep up the payments. Tom has given me a few more days, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to get the money in time.”
“I thought you were looking for a job?” Remus asked.
“I am, but I think it’ll be hard once people recognize my name.” Regulus gripped his left arm.
Remus nodded. He knew how easy rejection could happen. “Do you have any other place to stay?”
“Not that I know of. There’s my childhood home, but I doubt the wards would recognize me. Mother changed them whenever someone disobeyed her.”
“Oh.”
“Yes, mother was very strict, something Sirius always fought against, but I didn’t. However, I know news of what I’ve done traveled to her and she wouldn’t hesitate to change it. I don’t know where I’m going to go. I know there are ways for me to get money in the streets, but I--”
“You can stay with me.”
Regulus’ eyes widened at the sudden statement. “E-Excuse me?”
“I know that option is available, but it’s not a lifestyle I want you to adopt. I have enough room and I can get you anything that you need. It’s not a problem.” Remus nodded.
“A-Are you sure? We just met and I could put your life in danger and--”
“Regulus, really, it’s fine. You won’t put in any more danger than I normally find myself nowadays. You can stay with me, until you can sort things out. How does that sound?” Remus asked.
Regulus sat back and absorbed the offer. Could he trust Remus? Why would he be willing to offer his place to someone he just met? He turned back to Remus and noticed the softness in his eyes.
Maybe I can trust him. “Alright, I’ll move in with you until I can figure out what to do.” Regulus nodded.
Remus smiled and sat back against his seat. “We can figure out things when we get to my place. Is there anything you need to get?”
“Yes. I have a few items I would like to bring, if that’s alright?”
“It’s fine.”
“Okay, but what about my payment to Tom?”
“I can help you.”
“I can give you some. It won’t be much, but I can do it.”
“It’s fine.”
Regulus frowned in confusion. “Why are you helping me so willingly?”
“Remembered what I mentioned before? Well, I meant it. I promised to help Sirius if he needed it. That extends to you. My home has another room, which is being used to house books now. I don’t believe it’s too small, but we can work on the details once we’re there. Is that alright?” Remus resisted the urge to shift in his seat as he looked over at Regulus.
Regulus relaxed when he saw the unsure glint in Remus’ eyes. He nodded. “Yes, that’s fine.”
Remus grinned and settled back in his seat. “Wonderful. When should we leave?”
“We can leave now. It’s very late and I’m sure you would like to go home.” Regulus nodded.
“Okay. You can go gather your things and I’ll speak with Tom.” Remus winced slightly as he got out of the booth.
“Are you okay?” Regulus asked.
Damn, I have to stretch when I go home. “I’m fine. Just a few stiff muscles since I’m not so active anymore.” Remus flashed a reassuring smile.
Regulus eyed Remus for a while longer before he nodded. “I’ll return shortly.” He walked over to the staircase while Remus walked over to the bar. He paid for the drinks and waited for Regulus to return. After a few minutes, Regulus walked downstairs with a small knapsack on his shoulder.
He walked over to Tom with Remus and bought up his payment. Remus covered it and explained that Regulus’ loss was the reason behind his lack of payments. The quick way Remus created a story amazed Regulus.
Tom gently scolded Regulus that he could have worked something out with him, but was glad to see he had some help. Regulus nodded and apologized for not speaking earlier. After they settled their business, they left and walked down to the Apparation point. Regulus gripped Remus’ arm as he Apparated to the flat.
Regulus walked around the modest living room. His lips twitched at the books on the table and a few on the sofa. He turned to the fireplace and noticed the frames on the mantle. Regulus gripped the strap of his knapsack when he caught a glimpse of a picture of Sirius. He turned to Remus before he disappeared in his memories of better times.
“Your place is very nice. It’s not small, at all.”
“Thank you. The area is very quiet and everyone keeps to themselves, so there won’t be much trouble.”
“That’s fine.”
Remus grinned and gestured to the chairs and couch in the room. “You can relax while I get the spare room set up. I won’t be long.”
“Okay.” Regulus nodded and took a seat on the couch. Remus disappeared into the spare room.
Regulus placed his knapsack by the sofa and sat back against the cushions. He fought the urge to check the wards or look for any protection spells. He took a breath and reminded himself that Remus would protect his own home.
Not if Bellatrix gets out. Regulus frowned and pushed that traitorous thought down. He was fine. If Remus really wanted to hurt him he would have done so already. Regulus wiped his sweaty hands against his worn jeans. He took another breath and tried to relax. Regulus started to relax when a loud bang sounded in the other room. He jumped and reached for his wand.
“Sorry. A few books dropped in here.” Remus popped his head out the room and offered a sheepish smile. His smile dropped when he took in Regulus’s pale form. “Are you okay?”
“Y-Yeah, I just thought something happened.” Regulus murmured as he put his wand away.
“Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It’s okay. I’m just still a bit jumpy.”
“That’s understandable. I’ll try to be careful in here.”
“Take your time.”
Remus nodded and disappeared in the room. Regulus settled back against the cushions and took a breath to calm his racing heart and shaking hands. He leaned back and closed his eyes, taking a few more deep breaths as his hands stopped shaking. Regulus didn’t make a move to open his eyes as the stress of the last few weeks crashed over him. He curled up on the couch with a sleepy hum.
“Alright, Regulus, the room is clean now. You can put your stuff away and rest for the night. Regulus?” Remus asked when he didn’t hear a response. He walked over to the sofa and Regulus’ sleeping form.
It looked like he really needed to sleep. Remus carefully moved the books off the sofa and replaced it with a pillow. Once he put the books away, he grabbed a blanket and draped it over Regulus. Remus stepped back and watched as Regulus snuggled under the blanket.
He looks a lot like Sirius when he’s sleeping. Remus reached out to brush a loose strand away. Something he’d done many times in the past. When Regulus shifted in his sleep, Remus pulled his hand back.
What am I doing? He’s not Sirius. I can’t let my mind twist the two because they’re not the same. Remus nodded and walked to his room. He got ready for bed as the same fact circled his mind.
Sirius was dead. He wasn’t going to come back.
Remus swallowed the lump in his throat as he tried to go to sleep.
*~*~*
Regulus woke up the next morning feeling better than he had in a while. He sat up and ran a hand through his hair as he took in the new surroundings. He was confused when he didn’t notice the normal curtains at the Leaky. It cleared when yesterday’s events entered his hazy mind.
That’s right, I’m at Remus’ place. Regulus sat up as he noticed the blanket. He slowly touched it as his lips quirked into a small smile. He’s very nice. I should do something to show how much I appreciate it. He grabbed his knapsack and walked into the bathroom.
Regulus placed his knapsack in the room when he finished and walked back into the living room. He wanted to make some tea and start breakfast, but didn’t know if Remus would find that rude. Regulus contemplated on what to do when he heard the door open. He looked up as Remus walked out with a sleepy smile.
“Good morning.”
“Morning.”
“Did you sleep well?”
“Yes, I did. Did you?”
As well as I can sleep after a dream of Sirius and my friends. “I slept well. Is there anything you would like for breakfast?” Remus smoothed down his hair as he shuffled to the kitchen.
“Eggs and toast would be nice.”
“Okay.” Remus yawned slightly.
Regulus noticed and bit his lip as he got off the sofa. “I can help with the tea, if that isn’t a problem.”
“Do you want to? You don’t have to.”
“Oh no, it’s fine. I can do that.”
“Okay, if you want.” Remus stifled another yawn as he pulled out the kettle. Regulus took it and filled it up water as Remus rummaged the fridge for a few eggs. They walked around the kitchen and bumped into each other occasionally, but were able to complete breakfast. Regulus poured the tea while Remus set the table.
Once they sat down to their meal, they made small talk over The Prophet and their plans for the day.
Remus didn’t lose himself in his memories and Regulus didn’t stay in bed for most of the morning.
It was a welcome change of routine.
*~*~*
“Regulus?” Remus called out as he walked through the Floo.
“Yes?” Regulus walked out of his room, dusting off his hands on his jeans.
It was a few weeks since Regulus started to live with him. It went along better than Remus expected. Regulus was very polite and offered his help whenever he could. Regulus often cleaned up while Remus took care of his errands. Some nights Regulus joined Remus after his nightmares. Other nights Remus returned the favour. Remus found he enjoyed having someone to talk to rather than a Firewhiskey bottle. Regulus felt better knowing someone was close by.
It was comforting to know someone who could relate.
“Flourish and Blotts had a sale and I thought you would like this.” Remus handed the bag to Regulus.
Regulus blinked in surprise as he pulled the book out. “Potions: A refresher guide. This is for me?”
“I remembered you mentioned wanting to clean up your potions skills, so I thought that would help. I also have other books on the subject, if you’d like.” Remus leaned against the sofa.
“It looks like it will. I’ll be sure to check out the other books, as well. Thank you.” Regulus grinned.
“You’re welcome.” Remus smiled. “Let me know when you want to brew and I’ll get some ingredients for you.”
“Okay.”
Remus leaned away from the sofa and turned to the kitchen. “What should we eat tonight?”
“I think we should make sandwiches tonight.” Regulus followed Remus with book in his hand.
“Sounds good to me,” Remus said. He chuckled when Regulus opened the book and started to read it at the table.
*~*~*
Remus knew it was inevitable, but he wanted to hold off the revelation of his secret for a while longer. However, that was hard with the full moon edging closer and closer. He tried to hide it as best as he could. Remus cut his nails, counted to ten when he woke up in the mornings, and tried to hide his other instincts. He was successful, until the afternoon he snapped at Regulus.
Regulus knocked over a cup while reaching for the ketchup. It was something that pushed Remus’ already thin temper over the edge. He snapped at Regulus, who dropped everything and disappeared into his room. Remus cursed and immediately followed him.
“Regulus, Regulus, I’m sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“You didn’t have to snap at me. If you wanted me to leave, just say so.” Regulus snapped from behind the door.
“No, please, you’re fine. It’s--”
“I get it. Whatever I did, I’m sorry, but there was no need to snap at me like that. I cleaned it up.”
“Regulus, I didn’t--”
“I’ll be out of here in the morning if you--”
“I’m a werewolf.”
Regulus unlocked the door and opened it. “What?”
“I’m a werewolf.” Remus repeated, not breaking the eye contact with Regulus. “That’s the reason why I’m different. It’s not you, it’s the full moon. I’m normally not around people during this time. I haven’t curbed my behaviour since school and the only people who knew were James, Peter, and Sirius. I didn’t want to tell you, but I figured now would be the best time.”
Regulus walked out as he absorbed the information. “Is that why you looked really sick sometimes in school? Why sometimes Sirius would be so tired he fell asleep at the table?”
“Yes. Sirius, James, and Peter became animagi for me, so they could make sure I didn’t rampage all over.” Remus gripped his shirt, trying not to fall victim to the bittersweet memories running through his mind.
“Okay. I-I didn’t know Sirius could do that,” Regulus murmured softly.
“You know Sirius. He would do anything to help anyone he cared for,” Remus said with a sad smile.
Regulus nodded and turned back to Remus. “Severus mentioned something like that, but I thought he was going on a topic for school.”
“Yes, well, Sirius was responsible for Snape learning about me. However, James stopped it before it became too much. I’ll never forget that. I think that was the longest time I didn’t talk to Sirius. I was so angry and upset that he would put someone’s life in danger over something so foolish.” Remus sighed and shook his head. “We were all young and foolish, but it doesn’t excuse the mistakes we made.” He turned his weary gaze to Regulus.
“I will tell you that this is only the beginning. Everything will increase the closer the full moon comes. I’ll be angrier, moodier, and want to keep to myself, until the day I transform on the full moon. Now is the time to decide if you want to stay. I won’t fault you if you want to leave, but if you stay, this is something I can’t control. Do you want to stay?” Remus asked.
Regulus had never seen Remus look so serious. He frowned slightly at the flicker of fear in Remus’s eyes. He steeled his expression and shook his head.
“I’m not leaving. I’ll need a few minutes to sort out the information. Afterwards, we can talk about things that really anger you, so I won’t do it. Do you take Wolfsbane?”
Remus slumped against the sofa in relief as he nodded. “I do. It costs a bit, but it’s something I need.”
“I’ll see if I’ll be able to gather the ingredients. That way I can make it for you. It’ll be cheaper and you won’t have to use most of your budget to buy it.”
“Are you sure? Do you really want to stay?”
Regulus nodded. “I do. I didn’t even know you were a werewolf. You don’t act like other werewolves. I’m not going to leave, though. I know you’re aware of it, but I’m a Death Eater. Well, I was. I took the mark.” He pulled back his sleeve on his right arm showing off the faded mark on his skin. “Now we’re even.”
Remus looked at Regulus’ arm, then back at his face. He’d heard from Sirius that Regulus followed their parents’ beliefs, but he’d had no idea Regulus took the mark. His previous notions about Regulus changed as he stared at the mark.
Regulus rubbed his arm as he pulled his sleeve down. “I ran away when I found out You-Know-Who’s plans. I tried to stop it, but I didn’t get very far. However, I was able to escape with my life. Now you know why I was at The Leaky that day. I don’t know if you want an ex-Death Eater living with you, but I would like to stay. If you don’t mind.” He rubbed his arm again.
Remus straightened up and walked over to Regulus. He placed his hand on Regulus’s shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. “I don’t mind.”
Regulus gave him a small smile. “Thank you.”
“Thank you.” Remus said softly before he stifled a yawn. “Excuse me. I get tired around this time.”
“Okay. You go and get some rest. I’ll go write down the list of the ingredients I’ll need.”
Remus nodded and moved towards his room.
“Um, call me if you need anything.” Regulus called out.
“I will. Thanks.” Remus flashed a sleepy smile.
“You’re welcome. Sleep well.”
“I’ll try.”
Regulus watched Remus make it inside his room before turning back to his own. Remus got into bed with a pleased smile on his face.
He’d forgotten how good it felt to have help again.
*~*~*
One of the downsides about the full moon cycle was the spike in his libido. It felt that no matter how many times he used his hand, Remus couldn’t find satisfaction. Remus bit his lip as he worked his hand faster over his cock. He’d forgotten to cast a Silencing Spell before he started and didn’t want to wake up Regulus--or worse, have him listen.
Remus groaned softly as he opened his legs wider. He worked his hand harder to get some relief. He froze when the door opened and Regulus stood in the doorway.
“Regulus, I--” Remus stumbled as he tucked himself back in.
“I thought you were in pain.” Regulus murmured softly. He didn’t look down at Remus’ lap. Remus didn’t know if he was being polite or if the dark provided enough cover.
“I’m not. It’s just another thing I have to go through during the cycle, that’s all.”
“You mean the heat cycle?”
“How did you--?”
“I read about it and you told me, too, remember?”
“Oh, yeah, I did. Well, it’s nothing to worry yourself about. I can handle it.”
“…Can I help?”
Remus’s head snapped up at the question. “You want to help?”
“You told me it was one of the problems around this time. I can help you,” Regulus said softly as he walked over to the bed.
Remus gripped his jeans as Regulus took a seat on his bed. Regulus hesitated a bit before placing his hand over Remus’ hand resting on the bed. He turned his determined eyes to Remus.
“Can I help you?” he whispered.
Remus’s eyes shifted to Regulus’s hand then back to his eyes. He didn’t see any doubt in them or any questions beyond the obvious. Remus nodded and pulled his shirt out of his jeans. He pulled his cock out and looked back to Regulus to gauge his reaction. There was no change in his eyes. Regulus reached over and wrapped his hand around Remus’s cock. He moved his hand slowly, watching the precum slide onto his fingers.
Remus panted softly as he sat back and opened his legs further. He couldn’t remember anyone touching him since…he put a stop to that thought. It wasn’t the right moment for comparisons.
Remus closed his eyes with a soft moan. Regulus started to breathe harder from Remus’s sounds. He twisted his hand at a particular loud moan. Encouraged by Remus’s moans he continued to move his hand the same way. Regulus moved up on the bed as he watched Remus’s face. Regulus moaned softly at Remus’s half closed eyes and slightly parted lips. He felt his own trousers tighten at Remus’s moans and the way he pushed into Regulus’s hand.
Remus moaned from the smell of arousal rolling off Regulus. He noticed the way Regulus’s hair fell in his face and the way his tongue dabbed at his dry lips. Remus wanted to run his fingers through his hair, but his nails were too sharp. He dug his fingers in the comforter instead as he rocked against Regulus’s hand.
Regulus’s pants joined Remus’s soft ones as he worked his hand harder. Their hazy eyes locked together as Remus’s moans grew in volume. Regulus moaned and leaned forward, brushing his lips against his neck as his fingers teased Remus’ slit. Remus’s head fell back against the pillow as he rocked into Regulus’s hand.
Regulus kissed his neck as Remus rubbed his back. Remus noticed the tent in Regulus’s trousers. He stopped Regulus’s hand and looked into the surprised eyes in front of him.
“Did I…”
“No, but I think I should help you.”
Regulus adjusted his trousers as he shook his head. “D-Don’t have to.”
“Let me, please.” Remus pressed his hand against Regulus’ cock, loving the moan against his neck.
“O-Okay,” Regulus placed a last kiss on his neck before moving off the bed. He pulled off his trousers and pants as Remus stripped off the same things. Regulus climbed back into bed and settled in his lap. He pushed forward, moaning when their cocks rubbed against each other. Remus gripped his hips, mindful of his nails, and pushed back. Regulus groaned and started rocking against him.
Regulus placed his hand on Remus’s shoulders and moved to kiss his neck again. Remus shivered from the lips against his neck. He didn’t remember the last time it felt so good. He turned his head and sniffed Regulus’s hair, moaning from the arousal coming off him. Regulus moaned against his neck as the grip tightened.
Remus bit back the growl bubbling in his throat. He didn’t tighten his grip on Regulus’s hips, but breathed in his scent again. Regulus didn’t move away. He moved up and brushed his lips against Remus’s jaw.
“It’s okay.”
“But…”
Regulus turned his head and brushed their lips together. “It’s okay.”
Remus brushed back and tightened his grip as he pushed back. Regulus wrapped his arms around his neck as the heat in his stomach grew.
Heavy pants filled the room as their rhythm started to break. Remus pushed his hips up faster as Regulus ground down harder against him. Regulus leaned back, his breaths leaving his hips in short puffs. Remus kissed his neck as he snapped his lips up. Regulus tumbled over the edge with a moan and he rode out his orgasm. Remus growled, his nails digging in Regulus’ hips as he followed behind, muffling his moan against his neck.
They fell against each other on the bed as they gathered their breath. The weight of what they’d done started to push through Remus’s hazy mind. He felt his stomach twist in fear. Had he used Regulus for his own pleasure? Did Regulus notice the way he’d growled? Remus looked down at Regulus, who stared back.
“Yes? I’ll be gone once I can move again.” Regulus moved a sweaty strand away from his face.
“It’s not that.” Remus tried to gather some of his jumbled thoughts together as he looked for the right way to word his question.
“I know you growled, but that’s normal. Yeah?”
“It is, but did I do anything to you? Scratch you, bite you, or something like that? I often lose myself in the moment. I didn’t hurt you or anything, did I?” Remus scratched the back of his neck.
“No, you didn’t. Actually, it felt a lot better than my hand.” Regulus chuckled.
“I have to agree.” Remus chuckled and sat back against the pillows. He checked over Regulus with a weary look. “Are you sure?”
“Yes I am.” Regulus brushed his lips against Remus’ cheek. “I’m going to go take a bath now.”
“Alright, I’ll take one after you,” Remus said.
“Okay.” Regulus got off Remus. He picked up his trousers and pants on his way across the room. He stopped at the doorway and turned to Remus. “I want you to know, I didn’t mind. If you need help, let me know.”
Remus stared back at Regulus at a loss for words. He quickly answered when Regulus started to frown at the silence. “I will. Please know that the offer goes to you, too. If you want help, don’t hesitate.”
“I won’t.” Regulus gave a small grin and walked out the room.
Remus grinned up at the ceiling. He didn’t know how long their agreement would last before Regulus searched for another partner, but he would enjoy it while it lasted.
Part Two
Author/Artist:
blossomdreamsPrompt: #30: With nowhere else to go, they managed to find each other. What they have isn't love, but it's enough for now.
Pairing(s): Regulus/Remus
Word Count/Art Medium: 10,988
Rating: NC-17
Warning(s): biting, reference to unpleasant things, scratching, werewolf things such as sniffing and mentions of marking, and angst. It may look dubcon in places, but I assure you it’s consensual.
Disclaimer:Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: First I want to thank the mods for being so very patient with me. Thank you so much. Next I want to thank my beta C for help and letting me complain and talk things out when I was confused. I would like to thank Q as well for the same help and to the usual people who hear me complain about my muses. Once I saw this prompt I knew I had to write it although I didn’t expect it to be so out of control. >< I hope you enjoy it because I enjoyed writing it. Enjoy!
Summary: Remus and Regulus are both lost until they find each other at The Leaky one day. Can they help each other find a purpose to continue with their lives after having so much taken away from them?
It was another morning. A morning filled with the same nightmares from a few hours ago, the same feeling of emptiness at the memory of friends long gone and the wonder of waking up to face it. Remus rubbed his tired eyes as he sat up in bed.
At least I was able to get three hours of sleep last night. Remus ran a hand through his shaggy hair, stifling a yawn.
It was a few years since the fall of Voldemort. The Wizarding World fell back into peace as everyone tried to return to their old lives or begin new ones. Remus received an award for his work in the Order and the war, along with a pension that helped him keep his home. However, these awards were a hollow victory for Remus. Sirius, James, and Lily, his family, was gone. He was the only Marauder left, since Peter was dead to Remus.
He didn’t know where Dumbledore had placed James and Lily’s child. Remus would offer to take care of the boy, but he knew it would take the Ministry years just for him to pass the first evaluation. Besides, he didn’t think he was stable enough to take care of himself, let alone an infant.
Remus stretched his arms over his head, listening to the symphony of his popping joints. Between the war and the wolf, Remus felt like he was centuries old, not a man in his twenties. He rubbed his arms and the back of his neck. His joints still sore from his transformation a few weeks ago.
I really miss those massages. Remus smiled lightly at the memory of the massages Sirius insisted on giving every time he tried to hide his sore joints. He stopped before his mind traveled further. He couldn’t crumble in the middle of his bed, not when he had work to do. Remus got out of bed and walked over to the shower. He went over his checklist for the day.
First, he had to answer the mail. He had to decline Dumbledore’s invitation to stay in the castle. He couldn’t stay there. There were too many memories. Next, he had to check an article about the spell properties in Transfiguration. All those years of studying paid off. After, he had to put his war pension in his vault then take out some money for the month. Then it was dinner, a bath, and finish the chapter in his book before he fell asleep.
Remus walked in the shower and turned on the hot water. He sighed in relief as the stream soothed his aching bones. It was a new day, and another day he was alive. However, Remus didn’t feel very alive.
*~*~*
Regulus stared at the wall as the sun peaked in through the curtains. He’d tried going to sleep last night, but he couldn’t. The dream of his darling cousin Bellatrix and her husband finding him felt too real. He couldn’t believe he survived after betraying the Dark Lord. He thought Bellatrix and the other Death Eaters would find him at any minute.
Regulus gripped his arm. He could still feel the sting of the Dark Mark on his skin.
I should have listened to Sirius. I thought Mother and Father wouldn’t let anything happen, but I was wrong. I should have listened. Why didn’t I trust him? Regulus burrowed deeper in the bed.
When the war ended, Regulus had had no options. He’d survived, but he couldn’t go home. Kreacher would welcome him, but he knew his mother wouldn’t be happy to see him. He’d disgraced the House of Black. His name was gone from the tapestry like Sirius. Regulus gripped his chest at the thought of his brother.
Regulus had read the paper the day he died. It wasn’t fair. There was something wrong that he survived while Sirius didn’t. At least he took out three Death Eaters with him. Regulus wished Bellatrix had been one of those Death Eaters, but one could only dream.
Regulus worked a few tangles out of his hair with his fingers as he turned to the ceiling. He’d stumbled into the Leaky one day after he returned to Diagon Alley. He knew somewhere his Mother was howling about that. Regulus was thankful that the owner let him stay, but that was two weeks ago. He had to pay for the room and board soon, but had ran into a few problems.
He didn’t have much of the money he’d smuggled out left. He could go and access his vault, but was unsure if the ownership had changed. Regulus could try to access it, but it would travel among the family. Someone would pop by for a family visit that Regulus wasn’t looking forward to. Regulus didn’t have many skills, except in Potions, but he didn’t know who would take him.
Regulus sighed. He blew a lock of hair away from his face. Staying in bed wasn’t productive. The least he could do was take a shower and get something to eat. Regulus took a breath and sat up, the effort harder than he’d originally thought. He crawled out of bed and over to the bathroom. The shower relaxed him, but he didn’t feel very clean.
*~*~*
Remus thrummed his fingers against the table. He finished most of the items on his to-do list. The letter made it’s way to Dumbledore. The request would return, but he pushed it away for now. After the letter, he worked on the article. He sent it away with minimal mistakes. It didn’t distract him for long. The last item on his list was the vaults.
Remus stood up, biting his lip against the pain in his leg. He gritted his teeth and limped over to his jacket. He sighed in relief when the pain subsided.
Maybe I can grab a drink while I’m down there. Remus adjusted his jacket on his way out the door. A light breeze traveled through the quiet streets of Rowena’s Cove. Many people were still celebrating the end of the war and didn’t come home until later on at night. He preferred it that way. It made it easier for him to slip away during the full moon. The breeze moved his bangs as he walked to the bus stop to take him to the Alley.
Remus kept a hand on his wand on his way to Gringotts. To some people he would always be a werewolf, regardless of his war honour. He made it to Gringotts with only a few stares. He didn’t enjoy his new popularity, but he’d grown used to it. Remus placed his pension in the vault and drew out enough money for the month. It didn’t feel good to watch his balance shrink each month, but without James, he was barely making it.
Remus swallowed at the thought of his friend and his big heart. He pushed it away before he focused on James’ absence. He finished his business in Gringotts and wandered around the alley for a while. He looked into store windows, noting the sales. It was a welcomed change to the boards that had decorated the windows a few months before.
Remus pulled away from the window of the Quidditch shop and continued to wander around. He didn’t want to go back to the silence that welcomed him at his flat. There had to be something else to do while he was out. There was Flourish and Blotts or The Leaky Cauldron. Remus looked up and saw The Leaky ahead of him.
A drink before I go home wouldn’t hurt. Remus nodded as he walked over.
*~*~*
Regulus stared at the sandwich as if it held the answers to all his problems. Tom reminded him the rent of his room was due soon. Regulus felt lucky that Tom gave him a few extra days. Tom assured him he understood how hard it was to put expenses in order after the war. However, those days would arrive soon and Regulus didn’t have a plan.
He sighed and reached for his sandwich. Not eating wouldn’t help his problems. Regulus racked his min about his available options. He could use a glamour and find a job. He was sure someone could use a brewer and the bookstore looked promising. There was Madam Malkin’s, he had some skills with sewing after Greyback tore holes in his clothes as a joke.
Regulus pushed that memory back as he reached for his drink. He relaxed at the few choices available. He only hoped they would accept him. He looked down at his plate again and tried to gather the energy to eat.
*~*~*
Remus walked in and gazed around the pub for an available seat. He stopped at the sight of dark hair and gray eyes in the one of the booths on the side. His palms started to sweat as his heart raced at the prospect of Sirius alive.
Maybe he hid? Maybe he’s been Padfoot all this time and I didn’t know it. Remus swallowed and made his way over. He opened his mouth to call Sirius’ name when the person turned to him. Remus slowed down and studied the face. The man looked younger than Sirius, but he could see the resemblance.
“Um, excuse me? C-Can I help you?”
Remus blinked out of his reverie and offered a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry. You look like someone and I thought…well, never mind. Hope I didn’t bother you.” He nodded and turned to walk away when the man spoke up again.
“I remember you. You used to go to Hogwarts.”
Remus frowned as he turned around. “I did. Have we met before?”
“No, but I heard a lot about you. You used to hang around my brother.”
“I did.” Remus swallowed at the way his stomach twisted.
“Did he ever mention me? My name is Regulus.”
The name didn’t sound unfamiliar. Remus remembered Sirius mentioned a younger brother that decided to go along with their parents to the Dark Lord.
I remember him now. Sirius was so upset he refused to talk about it that year. Remus studied the face again and nodded when realization hit him. That’s him.
“Does it sound familiar?”
Remus left his thoughts at the sad tone. His heart clenched at the sadness Regulus tried to hide behind indifferent eyes.
“He did.” Remus nodded. “He mentioned you a lot. He wanted to send things to you like for your birthday and other holidays, but mentioned your parents wouldn’t allow it.”
“No, they wouldn’t.” Regulus shook his head as a light smile tugged his lips. “Oh, excuse my manners, would you like to sit here? I’m not waiting for anyone. I just wanted some space to eat, that’s all.”
“Thank you, that would be nice. My name is Remus, by the way.” He held out his hand as Regulus shook it.
“Nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you, too. Would you excuse me? I’m going to get a pint, would you like something?”
“No, thank you.”
“Okay,” Remus flashed another smile on his way to the bar. He didn’t imagine he would run into Regulus. He’d heard nothing more about Sirius’ family after the war, besides the news that Bellatrix and her husband were in Azkaban and Narcissa’s wedding announcement. It amazed Remus how different Sirius was from his upbringing. He wondered if Regulus held on to the same beliefs. Remus noticed Regulus didn’t sit with that arrogance most purebloods displayed. It could change once they started talking, but it didn’t look that way. Remus left his thoughts when the pint arrived.
Well, guess I’ll see how he is. It wouldn’t hurt. Remus took his pint and walked back over.
Regulus stared at his food again. The same side of sandwich sat untouched as Remus took his seat.
“Regulus?”
Regulus jumped slightly and turned his gaze to Remus. “Oh, sorry, I was just thinking that’s all.”
“It’s fine.”
Regulus offered a polite smile as he took a sip of his drink. He placed the glass down and folded his hands in his lap.
He’s very polite, unlike Sirius at all. Remus stopped before he started to reminisce.
“How are you? Rather, how have you been?” Regulus asked.
“Some days are good, some are not so good, but I take each day one step at a time. There’s no need for me to rush anymore, so I’m trying to relax and enjoy as much as I can.” While not drinking myself into a stupor. Remus sipped his pint. “How are you?”
“I suppose the same is with me. I try to take each day slowly and get as much as I can out of it. I haven’t done much, but I’m looking for something to do.”
“Do you have anything in mind?”
Regulus shrugged. “A few things, but I don’t know which one to choose.”
“What is something you’re really interested in?”
“Brewing,”
“Really?”
“Yeah it was one of my favorite subjects in school and I enjoyed doing it when I was on break. I don’t know if anyone would hire me on, though.”
“Have you tried?”
“Not yet, but I’m thinking of doing other work before I try to brew something again. It’s been awhile since I read a Potions book or did anything like that. That’s something I can think about another day. Do you have a job or any work?”
Remus bit back the bitter laugh bubbling in his throat. He pushed it down and nodded. “I don’t have a steady one, but I do work any small job that is available and not too dangerous.”
“Sounds good. At least it’s something, yeah?”
“Yeah it is.”
Regulus nodded and poked his food again.
“Not hungry?”
“Oh, well, I don’t want to throw it away, but when I try to finish I can’t.”
“If you’re feeling unwell I can make sure you get home.”
“I’m staying here.”
“Okay, well, if you need help going to your room let me know.”
“You’ll help me?”
“Yes. I wouldn’t want you to pass out or anything if you’re ill. Besides, I don’t think Sirius would appreciate if I let that happen.”
Regulus laughed softly. “Yeah, he wouldn’t.”
Remus shook his head with a wistful smile. “Yeah.”
They fell silent as Sirius entered their thoughts. Remus sipped his pint trying to ignore the way his stomach twisted and his heart clenched at the memories. Regulus bit his lip at the all the chances he tried to get close to Sirius while they were in school. He had heard about Sirius’s friends and how they’d protected him. He thought they would stop him from getting closer to Sirius, once they found out he was his brother.
Maybe Remus would have let me see Sirius if I’d asked. He doesn’t seem so bad. Regulus reached for his cup and wrapped his fingers around it.
“So, are there other things you’re doing? I remembered in school that you were good assisting people in different subjects. Are you doing anything with that? You could become a teacher. I’m sure they’ll let you.”
Remus’ grip tightened around his cup. As if people would feel comfortable having a werewolf teach their children. “I’ve been offered, but I don’t want to do that right now.”
“It’s fine. I only wondered,” Regulus quickly mumbled.
“I’m sorry. I’ve been asked many times and I don’t want to go back to Hogwarts right now. Please, excuse my tone.” Remus flashed a reassuring smile.
Regulus relaxed and nodded. “As I said, it’s fine. I just asked because I remember the rumours about your grades.”
“I didn’t know my grades came up in conversation. I figured other, more interesting things would travel around the school.”
“They did.”
“What were a few that you can remember?”
“Well…” Regulus started to talk about different pranks and rumours that used to pass around the school. The stories were bittersweet to Remus. He remembered the planning to all of the pranks and the resulting detentions from it. They shifted from the stories to Hogwarts to topics in the Prophet to the sales going on in the shops. Remus didn’t notice the time until he looked at the clock by the bar.
“Oh, it’s getting late. I meant to pick up a book before I go home.” Remus finished the recent pint in front of him.
“Okay. It was nice talking to you and learning more things about Hogwarts. I didn’t know that existed.” Regulus chuckled softly.
“Yes, we were quite adventurous.” Remus chuckled. He noticed the cups around Regulus and the absence of food. He turned a worried gaze to Regulus. “Are you going to be okay?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” Regulus nodded and avoided his eyes.
“Regulus, are you okay? If you need help, I can provide it.”
Regulus swallowed and clenched his fists. “Can we talk somewhere private?”
“Would you like to go to your room or somewhere else?” Remus asked.
“Can we go to a quiet part of the pub?”
“Sure,” Remus stood up and followed behind Regulus. They settled into one of the corner booths away from most of the patrons of the bar.
Regulus took a deep breath and rested his hands in his lap. “I’m staying here, but I don’t know for how long. I don’t have any money to keep up the payments. Tom has given me a few more days, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to get the money in time.”
“I thought you were looking for a job?” Remus asked.
“I am, but I think it’ll be hard once people recognize my name.” Regulus gripped his left arm.
Remus nodded. He knew how easy rejection could happen. “Do you have any other place to stay?”
“Not that I know of. There’s my childhood home, but I doubt the wards would recognize me. Mother changed them whenever someone disobeyed her.”
“Oh.”
“Yes, mother was very strict, something Sirius always fought against, but I didn’t. However, I know news of what I’ve done traveled to her and she wouldn’t hesitate to change it. I don’t know where I’m going to go. I know there are ways for me to get money in the streets, but I--”
“You can stay with me.”
Regulus’ eyes widened at the sudden statement. “E-Excuse me?”
“I know that option is available, but it’s not a lifestyle I want you to adopt. I have enough room and I can get you anything that you need. It’s not a problem.” Remus nodded.
“A-Are you sure? We just met and I could put your life in danger and--”
“Regulus, really, it’s fine. You won’t put in any more danger than I normally find myself nowadays. You can stay with me, until you can sort things out. How does that sound?” Remus asked.
Regulus sat back and absorbed the offer. Could he trust Remus? Why would he be willing to offer his place to someone he just met? He turned back to Remus and noticed the softness in his eyes.
Maybe I can trust him. “Alright, I’ll move in with you until I can figure out what to do.” Regulus nodded.
Remus smiled and sat back against his seat. “We can figure out things when we get to my place. Is there anything you need to get?”
“Yes. I have a few items I would like to bring, if that’s alright?”
“It’s fine.”
“Okay, but what about my payment to Tom?”
“I can help you.”
“I can give you some. It won’t be much, but I can do it.”
“It’s fine.”
Regulus frowned in confusion. “Why are you helping me so willingly?”
“Remembered what I mentioned before? Well, I meant it. I promised to help Sirius if he needed it. That extends to you. My home has another room, which is being used to house books now. I don’t believe it’s too small, but we can work on the details once we’re there. Is that alright?” Remus resisted the urge to shift in his seat as he looked over at Regulus.
Regulus relaxed when he saw the unsure glint in Remus’ eyes. He nodded. “Yes, that’s fine.”
Remus grinned and settled back in his seat. “Wonderful. When should we leave?”
“We can leave now. It’s very late and I’m sure you would like to go home.” Regulus nodded.
“Okay. You can go gather your things and I’ll speak with Tom.” Remus winced slightly as he got out of the booth.
“Are you okay?” Regulus asked.
Damn, I have to stretch when I go home. “I’m fine. Just a few stiff muscles since I’m not so active anymore.” Remus flashed a reassuring smile.
Regulus eyed Remus for a while longer before he nodded. “I’ll return shortly.” He walked over to the staircase while Remus walked over to the bar. He paid for the drinks and waited for Regulus to return. After a few minutes, Regulus walked downstairs with a small knapsack on his shoulder.
He walked over to Tom with Remus and bought up his payment. Remus covered it and explained that Regulus’ loss was the reason behind his lack of payments. The quick way Remus created a story amazed Regulus.
Tom gently scolded Regulus that he could have worked something out with him, but was glad to see he had some help. Regulus nodded and apologized for not speaking earlier. After they settled their business, they left and walked down to the Apparation point. Regulus gripped Remus’ arm as he Apparated to the flat.
Regulus walked around the modest living room. His lips twitched at the books on the table and a few on the sofa. He turned to the fireplace and noticed the frames on the mantle. Regulus gripped the strap of his knapsack when he caught a glimpse of a picture of Sirius. He turned to Remus before he disappeared in his memories of better times.
“Your place is very nice. It’s not small, at all.”
“Thank you. The area is very quiet and everyone keeps to themselves, so there won’t be much trouble.”
“That’s fine.”
Remus grinned and gestured to the chairs and couch in the room. “You can relax while I get the spare room set up. I won’t be long.”
“Okay.” Regulus nodded and took a seat on the couch. Remus disappeared into the spare room.
Regulus placed his knapsack by the sofa and sat back against the cushions. He fought the urge to check the wards or look for any protection spells. He took a breath and reminded himself that Remus would protect his own home.
Not if Bellatrix gets out. Regulus frowned and pushed that traitorous thought down. He was fine. If Remus really wanted to hurt him he would have done so already. Regulus wiped his sweaty hands against his worn jeans. He took another breath and tried to relax. Regulus started to relax when a loud bang sounded in the other room. He jumped and reached for his wand.
“Sorry. A few books dropped in here.” Remus popped his head out the room and offered a sheepish smile. His smile dropped when he took in Regulus’s pale form. “Are you okay?”
“Y-Yeah, I just thought something happened.” Regulus murmured as he put his wand away.
“Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It’s okay. I’m just still a bit jumpy.”
“That’s understandable. I’ll try to be careful in here.”
“Take your time.”
Remus nodded and disappeared in the room. Regulus settled back against the cushions and took a breath to calm his racing heart and shaking hands. He leaned back and closed his eyes, taking a few more deep breaths as his hands stopped shaking. Regulus didn’t make a move to open his eyes as the stress of the last few weeks crashed over him. He curled up on the couch with a sleepy hum.
“Alright, Regulus, the room is clean now. You can put your stuff away and rest for the night. Regulus?” Remus asked when he didn’t hear a response. He walked over to the sofa and Regulus’ sleeping form.
It looked like he really needed to sleep. Remus carefully moved the books off the sofa and replaced it with a pillow. Once he put the books away, he grabbed a blanket and draped it over Regulus. Remus stepped back and watched as Regulus snuggled under the blanket.
He looks a lot like Sirius when he’s sleeping. Remus reached out to brush a loose strand away. Something he’d done many times in the past. When Regulus shifted in his sleep, Remus pulled his hand back.
What am I doing? He’s not Sirius. I can’t let my mind twist the two because they’re not the same. Remus nodded and walked to his room. He got ready for bed as the same fact circled his mind.
Sirius was dead. He wasn’t going to come back.
Remus swallowed the lump in his throat as he tried to go to sleep.
*~*~*
Regulus woke up the next morning feeling better than he had in a while. He sat up and ran a hand through his hair as he took in the new surroundings. He was confused when he didn’t notice the normal curtains at the Leaky. It cleared when yesterday’s events entered his hazy mind.
That’s right, I’m at Remus’ place. Regulus sat up as he noticed the blanket. He slowly touched it as his lips quirked into a small smile. He’s very nice. I should do something to show how much I appreciate it. He grabbed his knapsack and walked into the bathroom.
Regulus placed his knapsack in the room when he finished and walked back into the living room. He wanted to make some tea and start breakfast, but didn’t know if Remus would find that rude. Regulus contemplated on what to do when he heard the door open. He looked up as Remus walked out with a sleepy smile.
“Good morning.”
“Morning.”
“Did you sleep well?”
“Yes, I did. Did you?”
As well as I can sleep after a dream of Sirius and my friends. “I slept well. Is there anything you would like for breakfast?” Remus smoothed down his hair as he shuffled to the kitchen.
“Eggs and toast would be nice.”
“Okay.” Remus yawned slightly.
Regulus noticed and bit his lip as he got off the sofa. “I can help with the tea, if that isn’t a problem.”
“Do you want to? You don’t have to.”
“Oh no, it’s fine. I can do that.”
“Okay, if you want.” Remus stifled another yawn as he pulled out the kettle. Regulus took it and filled it up water as Remus rummaged the fridge for a few eggs. They walked around the kitchen and bumped into each other occasionally, but were able to complete breakfast. Regulus poured the tea while Remus set the table.
Once they sat down to their meal, they made small talk over The Prophet and their plans for the day.
Remus didn’t lose himself in his memories and Regulus didn’t stay in bed for most of the morning.
It was a welcome change of routine.
*~*~*
“Regulus?” Remus called out as he walked through the Floo.
“Yes?” Regulus walked out of his room, dusting off his hands on his jeans.
It was a few weeks since Regulus started to live with him. It went along better than Remus expected. Regulus was very polite and offered his help whenever he could. Regulus often cleaned up while Remus took care of his errands. Some nights Regulus joined Remus after his nightmares. Other nights Remus returned the favour. Remus found he enjoyed having someone to talk to rather than a Firewhiskey bottle. Regulus felt better knowing someone was close by.
It was comforting to know someone who could relate.
“Flourish and Blotts had a sale and I thought you would like this.” Remus handed the bag to Regulus.
Regulus blinked in surprise as he pulled the book out. “Potions: A refresher guide. This is for me?”
“I remembered you mentioned wanting to clean up your potions skills, so I thought that would help. I also have other books on the subject, if you’d like.” Remus leaned against the sofa.
“It looks like it will. I’ll be sure to check out the other books, as well. Thank you.” Regulus grinned.
“You’re welcome.” Remus smiled. “Let me know when you want to brew and I’ll get some ingredients for you.”
“Okay.”
Remus leaned away from the sofa and turned to the kitchen. “What should we eat tonight?”
“I think we should make sandwiches tonight.” Regulus followed Remus with book in his hand.
“Sounds good to me,” Remus said. He chuckled when Regulus opened the book and started to read it at the table.
*~*~*
Remus knew it was inevitable, but he wanted to hold off the revelation of his secret for a while longer. However, that was hard with the full moon edging closer and closer. He tried to hide it as best as he could. Remus cut his nails, counted to ten when he woke up in the mornings, and tried to hide his other instincts. He was successful, until the afternoon he snapped at Regulus.
Regulus knocked over a cup while reaching for the ketchup. It was something that pushed Remus’ already thin temper over the edge. He snapped at Regulus, who dropped everything and disappeared into his room. Remus cursed and immediately followed him.
“Regulus, Regulus, I’m sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“You didn’t have to snap at me. If you wanted me to leave, just say so.” Regulus snapped from behind the door.
“No, please, you’re fine. It’s--”
“I get it. Whatever I did, I’m sorry, but there was no need to snap at me like that. I cleaned it up.”
“Regulus, I didn’t--”
“I’ll be out of here in the morning if you--”
“I’m a werewolf.”
Regulus unlocked the door and opened it. “What?”
“I’m a werewolf.” Remus repeated, not breaking the eye contact with Regulus. “That’s the reason why I’m different. It’s not you, it’s the full moon. I’m normally not around people during this time. I haven’t curbed my behaviour since school and the only people who knew were James, Peter, and Sirius. I didn’t want to tell you, but I figured now would be the best time.”
Regulus walked out as he absorbed the information. “Is that why you looked really sick sometimes in school? Why sometimes Sirius would be so tired he fell asleep at the table?”
“Yes. Sirius, James, and Peter became animagi for me, so they could make sure I didn’t rampage all over.” Remus gripped his shirt, trying not to fall victim to the bittersweet memories running through his mind.
“Okay. I-I didn’t know Sirius could do that,” Regulus murmured softly.
“You know Sirius. He would do anything to help anyone he cared for,” Remus said with a sad smile.
Regulus nodded and turned back to Remus. “Severus mentioned something like that, but I thought he was going on a topic for school.”
“Yes, well, Sirius was responsible for Snape learning about me. However, James stopped it before it became too much. I’ll never forget that. I think that was the longest time I didn’t talk to Sirius. I was so angry and upset that he would put someone’s life in danger over something so foolish.” Remus sighed and shook his head. “We were all young and foolish, but it doesn’t excuse the mistakes we made.” He turned his weary gaze to Regulus.
“I will tell you that this is only the beginning. Everything will increase the closer the full moon comes. I’ll be angrier, moodier, and want to keep to myself, until the day I transform on the full moon. Now is the time to decide if you want to stay. I won’t fault you if you want to leave, but if you stay, this is something I can’t control. Do you want to stay?” Remus asked.
Regulus had never seen Remus look so serious. He frowned slightly at the flicker of fear in Remus’s eyes. He steeled his expression and shook his head.
“I’m not leaving. I’ll need a few minutes to sort out the information. Afterwards, we can talk about things that really anger you, so I won’t do it. Do you take Wolfsbane?”
Remus slumped against the sofa in relief as he nodded. “I do. It costs a bit, but it’s something I need.”
“I’ll see if I’ll be able to gather the ingredients. That way I can make it for you. It’ll be cheaper and you won’t have to use most of your budget to buy it.”
“Are you sure? Do you really want to stay?”
Regulus nodded. “I do. I didn’t even know you were a werewolf. You don’t act like other werewolves. I’m not going to leave, though. I know you’re aware of it, but I’m a Death Eater. Well, I was. I took the mark.” He pulled back his sleeve on his right arm showing off the faded mark on his skin. “Now we’re even.”
Remus looked at Regulus’ arm, then back at his face. He’d heard from Sirius that Regulus followed their parents’ beliefs, but he’d had no idea Regulus took the mark. His previous notions about Regulus changed as he stared at the mark.
Regulus rubbed his arm as he pulled his sleeve down. “I ran away when I found out You-Know-Who’s plans. I tried to stop it, but I didn’t get very far. However, I was able to escape with my life. Now you know why I was at The Leaky that day. I don’t know if you want an ex-Death Eater living with you, but I would like to stay. If you don’t mind.” He rubbed his arm again.
Remus straightened up and walked over to Regulus. He placed his hand on Regulus’s shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. “I don’t mind.”
Regulus gave him a small smile. “Thank you.”
“Thank you.” Remus said softly before he stifled a yawn. “Excuse me. I get tired around this time.”
“Okay. You go and get some rest. I’ll go write down the list of the ingredients I’ll need.”
Remus nodded and moved towards his room.
“Um, call me if you need anything.” Regulus called out.
“I will. Thanks.” Remus flashed a sleepy smile.
“You’re welcome. Sleep well.”
“I’ll try.”
Regulus watched Remus make it inside his room before turning back to his own. Remus got into bed with a pleased smile on his face.
He’d forgotten how good it felt to have help again.
*~*~*
One of the downsides about the full moon cycle was the spike in his libido. It felt that no matter how many times he used his hand, Remus couldn’t find satisfaction. Remus bit his lip as he worked his hand faster over his cock. He’d forgotten to cast a Silencing Spell before he started and didn’t want to wake up Regulus--or worse, have him listen.
Remus groaned softly as he opened his legs wider. He worked his hand harder to get some relief. He froze when the door opened and Regulus stood in the doorway.
“Regulus, I--” Remus stumbled as he tucked himself back in.
“I thought you were in pain.” Regulus murmured softly. He didn’t look down at Remus’ lap. Remus didn’t know if he was being polite or if the dark provided enough cover.
“I’m not. It’s just another thing I have to go through during the cycle, that’s all.”
“You mean the heat cycle?”
“How did you--?”
“I read about it and you told me, too, remember?”
“Oh, yeah, I did. Well, it’s nothing to worry yourself about. I can handle it.”
“…Can I help?”
Remus’s head snapped up at the question. “You want to help?”
“You told me it was one of the problems around this time. I can help you,” Regulus said softly as he walked over to the bed.
Remus gripped his jeans as Regulus took a seat on his bed. Regulus hesitated a bit before placing his hand over Remus’ hand resting on the bed. He turned his determined eyes to Remus.
“Can I help you?” he whispered.
Remus’s eyes shifted to Regulus’s hand then back to his eyes. He didn’t see any doubt in them or any questions beyond the obvious. Remus nodded and pulled his shirt out of his jeans. He pulled his cock out and looked back to Regulus to gauge his reaction. There was no change in his eyes. Regulus reached over and wrapped his hand around Remus’s cock. He moved his hand slowly, watching the precum slide onto his fingers.
Remus panted softly as he sat back and opened his legs further. He couldn’t remember anyone touching him since…he put a stop to that thought. It wasn’t the right moment for comparisons.
Remus closed his eyes with a soft moan. Regulus started to breathe harder from Remus’s sounds. He twisted his hand at a particular loud moan. Encouraged by Remus’s moans he continued to move his hand the same way. Regulus moved up on the bed as he watched Remus’s face. Regulus moaned softly at Remus’s half closed eyes and slightly parted lips. He felt his own trousers tighten at Remus’s moans and the way he pushed into Regulus’s hand.
Remus moaned from the smell of arousal rolling off Regulus. He noticed the way Regulus’s hair fell in his face and the way his tongue dabbed at his dry lips. Remus wanted to run his fingers through his hair, but his nails were too sharp. He dug his fingers in the comforter instead as he rocked against Regulus’s hand.
Regulus’s pants joined Remus’s soft ones as he worked his hand harder. Their hazy eyes locked together as Remus’s moans grew in volume. Regulus moaned and leaned forward, brushing his lips against his neck as his fingers teased Remus’ slit. Remus’s head fell back against the pillow as he rocked into Regulus’s hand.
Regulus kissed his neck as Remus rubbed his back. Remus noticed the tent in Regulus’s trousers. He stopped Regulus’s hand and looked into the surprised eyes in front of him.
“Did I…”
“No, but I think I should help you.”
Regulus adjusted his trousers as he shook his head. “D-Don’t have to.”
“Let me, please.” Remus pressed his hand against Regulus’ cock, loving the moan against his neck.
“O-Okay,” Regulus placed a last kiss on his neck before moving off the bed. He pulled off his trousers and pants as Remus stripped off the same things. Regulus climbed back into bed and settled in his lap. He pushed forward, moaning when their cocks rubbed against each other. Remus gripped his hips, mindful of his nails, and pushed back. Regulus groaned and started rocking against him.
Regulus placed his hand on Remus’s shoulders and moved to kiss his neck again. Remus shivered from the lips against his neck. He didn’t remember the last time it felt so good. He turned his head and sniffed Regulus’s hair, moaning from the arousal coming off him. Regulus moaned against his neck as the grip tightened.
Remus bit back the growl bubbling in his throat. He didn’t tighten his grip on Regulus’s hips, but breathed in his scent again. Regulus didn’t move away. He moved up and brushed his lips against Remus’s jaw.
“It’s okay.”
“But…”
Regulus turned his head and brushed their lips together. “It’s okay.”
Remus brushed back and tightened his grip as he pushed back. Regulus wrapped his arms around his neck as the heat in his stomach grew.
Heavy pants filled the room as their rhythm started to break. Remus pushed his hips up faster as Regulus ground down harder against him. Regulus leaned back, his breaths leaving his hips in short puffs. Remus kissed his neck as he snapped his lips up. Regulus tumbled over the edge with a moan and he rode out his orgasm. Remus growled, his nails digging in Regulus’ hips as he followed behind, muffling his moan against his neck.
They fell against each other on the bed as they gathered their breath. The weight of what they’d done started to push through Remus’s hazy mind. He felt his stomach twist in fear. Had he used Regulus for his own pleasure? Did Regulus notice the way he’d growled? Remus looked down at Regulus, who stared back.
“Yes? I’ll be gone once I can move again.” Regulus moved a sweaty strand away from his face.
“It’s not that.” Remus tried to gather some of his jumbled thoughts together as he looked for the right way to word his question.
“I know you growled, but that’s normal. Yeah?”
“It is, but did I do anything to you? Scratch you, bite you, or something like that? I often lose myself in the moment. I didn’t hurt you or anything, did I?” Remus scratched the back of his neck.
“No, you didn’t. Actually, it felt a lot better than my hand.” Regulus chuckled.
“I have to agree.” Remus chuckled and sat back against the pillows. He checked over Regulus with a weary look. “Are you sure?”
“Yes I am.” Regulus brushed his lips against Remus’ cheek. “I’m going to go take a bath now.”
“Alright, I’ll take one after you,” Remus said.
“Okay.” Regulus got off Remus. He picked up his trousers and pants on his way across the room. He stopped at the doorway and turned to Remus. “I want you to know, I didn’t mind. If you need help, let me know.”
Remus stared back at Regulus at a loss for words. He quickly answered when Regulus started to frown at the silence. “I will. Please know that the offer goes to you, too. If you want help, don’t hesitate.”
“I won’t.” Regulus gave a small grin and walked out the room.
Remus grinned up at the ceiling. He didn’t know how long their agreement would last before Regulus searched for another partner, but he would enjoy it while it lasted.
Part Two
